Hey y'all! There was plenty of drama in this episode of Nashville. Unfortunately, it was totally boring drama. Like, "Oh no, I ran out of contact solution," type drama. Or, "We can't decide where to have dinner tonight," kind of drama.
The best part was that the show totally thought it was blitzing us with bombshells. I'm sorry to say it, but Nashville has become the Criss Angel of nightime soaps. In honor of this new status, I've decided to include a gif from one of my favorite YouTube videos every time the episode tried to blow our minds.
- After standing up for herself at the Opry, Juliette wants to make like John Connor and stay off the grid. So she moves in with Avery and buys all new furniture for his place. Girl, have you NOT seen How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days? But she makes up for it by trying to cook toast (adorable!) and watching Fellini movies and then coming out to the Bluebird to support Avery, who was asked by Deacon to sound engineer the live recording of his album.
- Gunnar tries to give another song and some advice to Gay Cowboy Will about being honest about his feelings for Brent. Consequently, Gay Cowboy Will talks to Jeff Doucheham and gets Brent FIRED!
- Zoey is unfortunately back on the show, and the writers still don't know how to make her an actual character instead of a plot device, so now she's trying to pursue as a career as a back-up singer. I liked this storyline better when it was called 20 Feet From Stardom.
- Daddy Lamar gets out of prison and is welcomed home by Rayna, the girls and Tandy, whose suspicious behavor indicates that she has never watched a single episode of Law & Order.
- Teddy tells Rayna that Tandy was the star witness in Daddy Lamar's trial!
- Tandy tells Rayna that Daddy Lamar is responsible for their mama's death!
- Teddy gets all emotional with Lady Lawyer about his case, and right when he grabs her hand, Deacon walks in. HOLLA! But before I could get too excited, Lady Lawyer took herself off of Teddy's case, and Deacon dedicated his first song at the Bluebird to "an angel" then looked straight at Lady Lawyer and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. This plot point calls for a different gif:
- Rayna confronts Daddy Lamar about Tandy's accusation, and he admits that he didn't want his wife to leave him, so he followed her car, and then she crashed. So he's... kind of responsible?
- Rayna also asks if he tried to kill Teddy, which results in a very pissed off Daddy Lamar showing up at Teddy's office. But before he can yell too much, he has a heart attack and falls to the floor while Teddy just stands there and watches!
- And then the trailer for the next episode totally spoiled the "cliffhanger ending" by making it very clear that Daddy Lamar is dead!
- Oh yeah, and Scarlett's still on drugs.
Best Rayna James Line:
I got nothing.
Rayna vs Juliette: (Who won?)
Juliette FO SHO. While Rayna had to deal with the fact that her father is somewhat respondible for her mother's death and might be guilty of trying to have Teddy killed, Juliette enjoyed a staycation at Avery's house with movies and toast.
Best Scene:
When Daddy Lamar (RIP) came home from prison, he was treated to a super precious song by Maddie and Daphne, with Rayna chiming in. THANKS SHOW. (Seriously, how hard is it to just give the viewers what we want?)
Best Sub-plot:
Deacon walking in on Lady Lawyer and Teddy because it gave me a shred of hope that they could eventually break up. And I will CLING TO THAT SHRED.
WTF:
- While filming her new music video, Rayna looked amazing (obviously) but the video itself looked like shizz. And apparently, "It's costing us a lot of money." Seriously? WHY? I've seen better crap from teenagers on YouTube.
Burning Questions:
- Does anyone else involuntarily say, "GROSS!" every time Lady Lawyer and Deacon kiss?
- How does Scarlett still have pills left?
Now, if you have any brains left after this MIND-BLOWING episode, hit me up in the comments with your rants.