Previously on The Originals: The Original siblings are in trouble – Klaus is punished for wearing his meaniepants, Rebekah is punished because she is female and likes to kiss hot boys and we certainly can’t have that, and Elijah is punished because he had the gall to hope that his brother could change. Also, there are hot naked werewolves and Sophie dies.
Before we begin, let me get this off my chest: this episode title has been earworm-ing me with Marilyn Manson’s Long Hard Road Out of Hell (link probably NSFW) for weeks. Thanks for reminding me of my youth and concurrent questionable fashion choices (vinyl pants, sigh). (Also: remember when Marilyn Manson was shocking and scandalous? Miley Cyrus, eat your heart out.)
Might I note that this episode was beautifully shot – so many scenes felt like a photo I could hang on my wall.
"STOP STEALING MY CONDITIONER, ELIJAH!"
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
Holy shit, Elijah actually took his shirt off this week. You do realize this is a Vampire Diaries and Originals first, yes? Also, Genevieve referred to Elijah as "elegant," which I would like to think is a shout out to me and my Elegant Uncle Elijah moniker, but probably not.
Betrayal is the name of the game in this episode: namely, Rebekah and Marcel’s betrayal of Klaus.
We start out with Elijah dropping in on Monique burying Sophie – how considerate, since Monique was content to let Sophie’s body lie in the middle of the street when SHE KILLED HER, but hey, who’s keeping track? Elijah wants to know where his siblings are, and Monique tells him that he can follow the path…of the witches’ names whose bodies Sabine inhabited, now marked on his flesh by magic. Solve the puzzle, and the names will disappear. Elijah takes his shirt off, leading to the fan screams heard ‘round the world. “What is happening?” Hayley asks along with us, and Elijah…asks her to make a list of the names. Slightly less interesting than a bodice-ripping-brouhaha, but we’re not complaining. Well, I'm not, anyway. Yet.
The names are a riddle that lead Elijah to where Rebekah and Klaus are being kept.
So. Rebekah’s father came to New Orleans in 1919 to kill Klaus, beckoned by Rebekah, Marcel, and Genevieve. In the present day, Genevieve has Klaus tied up (and twisted and the way I’d like to be – crash into me – enjoy that earworm, I hate that song) and feeds him memories. Basically, it’s what has been hinted at the last few episodes: Rebekah and Marcel teamed up with Genevieve – using her, really, which makes Genevieve mad – in order to bring their father to New Orleans in order to kill Klaus. Rebekah tried to take it back, but it couldn’t be undone. Klaus, of course, is furious.
There was a LITTLE TOO MUCH exposition when Genevieve revealed Rebekah’s betrayal, but I’ll forgive it for the hospital scenes being genuinely creepy. In order to keep Genevieve from telling Klaus about their betrayal, Rebekah infects Genevieve (and Bryn -- aka Sabine) with the flu (the 1918 flu outbreak was insane, historically, so I'm quite pleased with this tie-in).
Elijah, of course, is trying to keep the family peace – by saving all of his siblings. He enlists Marcel (and Hayley – or does Hayley enlist herself?) to help. By the end of the episode, Elijah arrived just in time to save Rebekah from the magic dagger – sinking it into Klaus’ chest instead. Oof.
It is also revealed that Genevieve was attracted to Klaus in 1919 – which is exactly the sort of pairing for which I would stand up and cheer. You people who like Cami, I do not understand you, but Genevieve? OH YES. (They would totally knock each other around in the hottest of ways. I sincerely hope they still will – that wrist-biting scene was not exactly passionless.)
Oh, and Hayley stalked Sabine/Celeste and called her “witch bitch,” and my heart grew three sizes that day. I can't wait for next week, when presumably they'll show more.
I think there's a joke about mothers in law in here but I shan't be the one to make it.
The Original Mythology
- Genevieve can link Rebekah’s mind to Klaus’ in order to share their memories. Man, the Rebekah/Marcel sexytime must get awkward.
- Genevieve can (and does) dig the magic knife right out of Klaus.
- Genevieve cast spells to help the hospital patients of 1919.
- Bryn Deveraux – or her bloodline – may be able to break the spell on Hayley’s family, as she’s the one who cursed Hayley’s family. Bryn = Sabine's 1919 host.
The Original Body Count
- No one actually died onscreen! The flu deaths were only hinted at, unless I missed something.
The Original WTF
- Tattoos stick around on vampires? Aren’t tattoos (I don’t have any, so forgive me if I'm getting this wrong) basically wounds with ink in pushed into them? Vampires heal and stay eternally young! This makes no sense. However, this does NOT detract from my immense enjoyment of Klaus’ tattoos. Joseph Morgan: call me.
- Why is Rebekah working in a hospital? Why is Genevieve, for that matter?
- Rebekah wanted to “walk down the street hand in hand [with Marcel]…for everyone to know that [he is hers and she is his].” Rebekah is either blissfully unaware of 1919 American race politics or just doesn’t care.
The Original Joseph Morgan Award for Tortured Hot People
ELIJAH WAS SHIRTLESS.
KLAUS AND GENEVIEVE.
MARCEL AND REBEKAH MAKING OUT IN A MORGUE. (Oh, and he still loves her.)
I don't even know, you guys. What did YOU think was the hottest moment? Also, was it me or did very little actually happen in this episode? I felt that with the flashbacks, which basically just fleshed out what we already knew, it was an episode mainly to set up the action next week.