Y'all, I think I've figured out why Star-Crossed hooked me so easily. I mean, besides the fact that it's packed with ridiculously good-looking people, several of whom were on Friday Night Lights.
It's because SO. MUCH. HAPPENS. In EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE. Are the writers, like, chained to their computers until they reach the daily quotient of 50 new plot points? Or do these scripts just get churned out by some massive CW factory powered by the angst and materialism of American teenagers? (And, if so, does the factory offer daily tours because LET'S GO. I hope they sell souvenir keychains!)
I adore all of the drama, yet I also want to tell those writers/factory workers to SIMMER DOWN because recapping this show is kiiiind of a bitch. But I'll give it my best shot, because I love Grey Damon you guys.
Here's what happened:
- WHOAH WHAT Roman has crazy Atrian sex with Teri?! Oh SNAP, it was just a dream. That's a cheap trick, show. Turns out that Teri and Roman used to date, so she pulled a pervy tooth fairy move and put some special Atrian leaf under his pillow to make him dream of her, because Atrians have a plant of EVERYTHING.
- Drake Budget Kellan Lutz gets recruited to join the Trags and meets their new leader, Vega, who is FIERCE. To prove his loyalty, he must break into the old Atrian ship during the upcoming ceremony celebrating the 10th anniversary of the arrival and "lay waste to the humans." It's clear from her phrasing that Vega recently graduated from Villain School. After agreeing to take on this mission, Budget Kellan Lutz gets some Dauntless style training from Officer Jack Beaumont.
- Julia gets to be like a normal teenager and go to school. "I'm finally in high school!" she proclaims. And you're only 23 years old! Good job. She's 100% cancer free, but ever since she touched Roman at the fair, a blue glow has been spreading over her body. To prevent her from going full on Avatar, Roman tries to get a root called Vyer (Vire? Why hasn't anyone started an Atrian Wiki?) from Teri, whose tribe has a sweet greenhouse. She's still mad at him for just wanting to be friends, so she refuses, which leads to Roman and Julia sneaking into the greenhouse. Vega, who turns out to be Teri's mom, discovers Roman and threatens to put some kind of nerve-destroying cherry into his spine, but Teri saves him by backing up his story of meeting her there for a date. She later gives him the Vyer, which Julia takes... and then some kind of blue explosion happens? But then she's okay? I guess? (Probably not.)
- As a lead-in to the anniversary ceremony, the human students in Emery's class get to spend a day in the Atrian sector. Emery, inexplicably wearing two shirts, wants to collect stories of arrival day from the Atrians' point of view, and Grayson volunteers to serve as her camera man. They spend the day getting footage of Atrian life, including little kids jumping through the water from a flowing hydrant. Atrians, they're just like us! Roman's sister, Sophia (the cutest person on this show by far), invites them to interview her in their pod, and Emery spies a star made of yellow string in Roman's room... which is just like the star she showed him how to make the first night they met. AWWWWWW.
- At the anniversary ceremony, Emery's video of Atrian arrival stories gets hacked by the Red Hawks, but Roman saves the day by giving a moving speech about how, one day, the world will be a more tolerant place, where he can get into Emery's pants.
- Budget Kellan Lutz sneaks into the old ship to steal some kind of metal candle holder from Pier One, but he can't bring himself to kill the guard that spots him. Teri shows up and gives the guard a leaf that will make him forget (OF COURSE), and, thanks to Roman's lingering feelings for Emery, it looks like Teri is firmly on Team Trag. They deliver the candle holder to Vega, who adds some Ciper and mixes up some kind of X-Files black oil that slams into Officer Beaumont's face and kills him. Based on the condition of his face, it's a safe bet that the police will assume he died from gorging on black licorice. Black Ciper is NASTY.
- Emery overhears Grayson's parents talking about how they switched the video, and she confronts Grayson about his Red Hawk allegiance. Wow, I really thought they were gonna draw that storyline out for a few episodes but NOPE. I do like the fact that I still can't tell if Grayson actually believes in the Red Hawk movement or not.
- Gloria (the mayor? the head of the council?) has a secret Atrian son!!! Or maybe he's half human, half Atrian?
- Uncle Castor continues to be SHADY.
Marshall High Student of the Week:
Roman! Not only did he cure Julia's Avatar disease, he also gave a rousing speech that preached peace and tolerance while also communicating the fact that he's still got the hots for Emery. Dude is a true politician.
Oh, The Humanity:
Of COURSE the Red Hawks hijacked Emery's video. But what was up with the weird DOS commands that showed up? Didn't they upload the video that they made? Why did they feel the need to borrow some screens from Hackers?
Atrian 101:
- Apparently, Atrian foreplay involves turning each other's skin blue. I can't wait til the episode when Emery introduces Roman to The Smurfs.
- Atrians have their own version of checkers! How charming.
- While in the sector, Emery follows a little Atrian girl named Lily to The Wall of the Missing, a memorial to all of the Atrians who died on arrival day. She discovers that some Atrians believe that death is merely a portal to a place called Al Jeeda. If I find out that this is some kind of subliminal Scientology shizz, I'm gonna be PISSED.
The Future is Now:
- In the future, cameras are tiny, and you can wear them on your ear like a Bluetooth and look extra douchey! Also, technology is so advanced, you don't even have to know if you're pointing the camera in the right direction, because there's no monitor. AMAZING.
- The Kia Souls of 2024 look exactly like... the Kia Souls of 2014.
First Kiss Watch:
Roman's been trying to keep his distance, but that impromptu speech blew his standoffish cover. Plus, Emery is mad at Grayson for being a Red Hawk, so I would say the chances are good that we might get a star-crossed kiss in 3-4 episodes. Then again, this IS the CW, so why do we even bother with predictions?
So, what did y'all think? Is this series continuing to pique your interest? Have you aligned yourself with Team Roman or Team Grayson? And will every episode introduce us to an amazing new Atrian plant? Leave your rants/raves/predictions in the comments!