After a month of grueling competition, we've arrived at the final battle of Teen TV Madness, and it's gonna be a doozy. Hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband, because this showdown will make the Hellmouth opening look like child's play.
But first, a quick look at our journey thus far:
Interactive PDF bracket, with links to IMDB, Netflix streaming, Amazon Prime streaming, and past FYA posts, where applicable.
It's fitting, really, that this final round lies in the hands of the two fiercest females in teen television. Well-matched in courage and snark, Buffy and Veronica are worthy opponents, and their worlds (both created by brilliant men) are similar in a surprising amount of ways-- small towns simmering with evil to which most people turn a blind eye, epically cursed love, single parents, dead friends and a motley crew of sidekicks.
Joining me for today's debate is Meredith, who will be defending Veronica Mars while I cheer on Team Buffy. In order to keep things civil, we've devised a series of categories to structure our arguments, so the actual bloodbath won't occur until you hit the voting booth at the bottom of this post. Consider your decision wisely, because we're racing for pinks.
GAME ON!
HEROINE
Buffy Summers
Buffy Summers is strong, sassy and gorgeous, and most importantly, she's a hell of a feminist. With that said, she's not perfect, but her flaws only serve to make her more inspiring. She overcomes her weaknesses and her fears to fight for the people she loves, all while wearing stylish yet affordable boots. The ultimate badass, Buffy is never too busy saving the world to be a good friend, and in my book, that's what makes her the ideal heroine.
Veronica Mars
Veronica's not a superhero, and no one had to choose her to be a badass - she became one all on her own. She's fierce and funny and pernsickety as hell, and she will do anything - ANYTHING - for the people she loves. She's also brilliant, and while I love Buffy, that's not exactly something we can say about homegirl.
SUPPORTING CHARACTERS
The Scooby Gang
It's been over ten years since Buffy ended, but I still have days when I miss the Scoobies something fierce. When combined as a group, each member's unique personality makes for the best team chemistry I've ever seen on television, and individually, each character could have easily supported his/her own show.
Even on his most loser-ish days, Xander never stopped cracking me up, and his relationship with Buffy and Willow developed into a beautifully complex and incredible friendship. I mean, try to watch this hug and NOT tear up:
Then there's adorkable Willow, whose turn to the dark side still wasn't enough to break her bond of friendship with Buffy and Xander. And as much as I dig Tara, Willow was never as cute as when she was with Oz, my #1 crush from the show.
Oz, I would do much more than mock you with my monkey pants if I could.
Joss Whedon excelled at creating mean girls, then evolving them into sympathetic characters. When Cordelia and Anya each first appeared, I never would have guessed that they would one day become my favorites.
Speaking of character redemption, I'm so glad Andrew got to stick around, because he's responsible for most of the funniest moments in the last season.
He's also a great example of how Joss managed to nurture existing characters while keeping the Scoobies' chemistry fresh with the introduction of new faces.
And then there's Giles. GILES! You're so wise and handsome, and your dry wit is the perfect addition to the show's humor. I would so be down with having you as my father figure. (I'll leave the interpretation up to you.)
Buffy's ensemble cast is dynamic and wonderfully endearing, and thankfully, the show highlighted and enhanced supporting characters by giving them compelling arcs. In spite of the name, Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn't just about one girl, it's about a team whose bond is strong enough to overcome even the most powerful of demons.
The Neptune Pirates
When Veronica Mars begins, Veronica doesn't have much of a support system - that's kind of what makes her special. But over the years, she collects a couple of true-blue besties that she couldn't live without - plus Dick.
Wallace is the first friend Veronica makes on the show, after she cuts him down from a flagpole and frees him from the clenches of the PCHers. Their friendship becomes one for the ages. Wallace is like Willow, he's like Samwise, he's like Ron Weasley - one of the best best friends fiction has to offer, and one hell of a baller. He also grew up FINE.
Mac is Veronica's Q, her tech support and the first girl she meets who's a match for her wits, style and mysanthropy. By the time the film rolls around, they're working together at Mars Investigations, and I can't think of a duo I'd rather hire.
Ahh, Dick. He's a big fat idiot and a terrible person, but we can't help but love him anyway. And you just know Veronica enjoys their dynamic - he says something stupid, she nails him for it.
Cliff and Veronica understand each other - he's a sleazy, barely adequate lawyer not above doing favors for a high school girl, and she's not above asking for them. When these two work together, they're unstoppable.
Far be it from me to ever argue against Rupert Giles, also known as the love of my life, but if I were going to be in someone else's corner, it would be Keith's. He is, quite simply, the greatest dad ever. He understands who Veronica is and he doesn't try to change her. They're not just father and daughter - they're pals, and more importantly they're partners.
THE TOWN
Sunnydale
Sunnydale offers up a typical high school setting that allows the adolescent issues on the show to feel universal. You've got a ridiculous hangout (The Bronze), the usual traditions like prom and homecoming and, of course, the local college that miraculously appears when needed. But the show turns it up to eleven by dropping in a big ole Hellmouth with demons that, in addition to spicing things up, often embody the challenges of ordinary teenage life. Plus, the town's got one hell of a mayor.
Neptune
Also set in California, Neptune has its own challenges in a corrupt police force and a severe wealth gap that leaves the have-nots ready to rumble. Neptune High is the kind of place where Paris Hilton will roll up on a pink Vespa and nice kids like Wallace get taped to flagpoles. As Veronica says, "If you go here, your parents are either millionaires or your parents work for millionaires." Go Pirates!
(I can't write this section without discussing the amazing Buffy shout-out in the Veronica Mars movie, because in all frankness Buffy was a huge inspiration for VM. Piz arrives at the reunion just in time for total chaos to ensue, and Veronica says, "Welcome to Neptune High." Piz replies, "It really does sit on a Hellmouth." SO GOOD.)
THE WRITING
Joss Whedon, Steven S. DeKnight, Jane Espenson & Co.
Simply put, the writing team behind Buffy NAILED IT. Equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking, the series built on brilliantly creative arcs and pushed the boundaries of television with its inventive storylines and bold, colorful characters. The writers were never afraid to get serious, but even in the show's darkest hours, the signature snark was alive and well. I can't think of a single show that made me laugh and cry-- often in the same episode-- more than Buffy.
Rob Thomas, Diane Ruggiero, John Enbom, Phil Klemmer & Co.
Veronica Mars was conceived as a high school noir, and it takes that silly-sounding concept and achieves great things with it. Veronica is an all-time character, a gal like no one else, and I will always love Rob Thomas for giving her to us. The show's dialogue is consistently witty, and some of the mysteries are as good as anything you'd find in a Raymond Chandler book. Some of them, it's true, aren't, but hey - they can't all be winners.
THE ROMANCE
Angel and Spike
Whether you're Team Angel or Team Spike, there's no denying that the romance on Buffy is majorly swoonworthy. Sorry, Logan, but THIS is what epic love looks like:
Buffy pretty much lives every girl's fantasy by dating the ultimate MLD (Angel) AND the ultimate bad boy (Spike), and her chemistry with both is SMOKIN' HOT. We're talking NO PANTIES LEFT ALIVE, Y'ALL. But the relationships aren't just sexy, they're emotionally layered and achingly real. Buffy is never defined by the men she dates, but their impact on her (not to mention the viewers) is undeniable.
Logan, Piz and Duncan
Oh, Logan and Veronica. LoVe, as the kids say. These two passionate, fiery, furious, tortured, damaged, beautiful people are either meant for each other or should never be allowed in the same zip code. Whether they're fighting or making out on the bathroom counter, they sure are fun to watch.
Poor Piz. Piz is the guy we should all date in real life - sweet, smart, adorable, HE WORKS FOR THIS AMERICAN LIFE and he's madly in love with Veronica. Alas, our girl needs someone with a little more fight in him to match her own.
Also there's this guy or whatever.
The Beginning and the End
"Welcome to the Hellmouth"
Given the fact that it was based on a movie, the pilot of Buffy was seemingly doomed before it even began. But that's what makes the first season so extraordinary. Instead of being a half-assed hack job, the first episode (and season) hinted at all of the great things to come, from characterization to plot lines, and in spite of the terrible special effects, the pilot is a solid foundation for the rest of the series.
"Chosen"
HOLEEEE SHIZZ, YOU GUYS. If you weren't shaken to the core by the series finale, then YOU'RE THE TINMAN AND YOU NEED TO VISIT THE WIZARD IMMEDIATELY. This episode was a brain-melting mix of action and emotion, and it took the Slayer to a place that seemed both inevitable and mind-blowing. When compared to the Buffy of the pilot, this woman has not only earned her stripes, she deserves our undying devotion. LONG LIVE THE SLAYER.
"Pilot"
Veronica Mars has one of my favorite pilots of any television series. The amount of sheer information unloaded in those 42 minutes, all while moving at a brisk and deeply compelling pace, is something of a marvel. Veronica as a character and as a journey are established perfectly in the scene where she's asked by her teacher to interpret Alexander Pope's An Essay On Man: "Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never is, but always to be blest: The soul, uneasy and confined from home, Rests and expatiates in a life to come." Or as Veronica more succinctly puts it: "Life's a bitch until you die."
"The Bitch is Back"
While the series finale of Veronica Mars is as clever and moving as any other episode of the show, it leaves on one monster of an unsatisfying cliffhanger. Fortunately for us, a movie was made and now a series of books are being published, so Veronica Mars never truly has to end!
IN DEFENSE OF THE BAD SEASON
Season Four
Yes, Season Four was kind of a downer, and it did feature Buffy's worst boyfriend, Riley, but it ALSO included one of the best episodes of the entire series, "Hush." And to the show's credit, going to college can be super tough, so Season Four was just keeping it real, amiright?
Season Five
I won't argue with you-- Dawn is the worst character that has ever happened. But, before you write off Season Five, let's remember a few vital ingredients:
1. Glory, a.k.a. Courtney from Bring It On
2. "The Body," which is one of the greatest episodes of the entire series
3. Spike realizing that he's in love with Buffy
So haters gonna hate, but this season was actually THE JAM.
Season Three
I think a lot of complaints about Season 3 of Veronica Mars are due to expectations. Viewers were used to the upbeat credits; to one single mystery arc for the season; to Neptune High instead of Hearst College. Rewatch it - no really, rewatch it. While it remains the weakest season of Veronica Mars, I think you'll find that it's still much, much better than most seasons of any other show on television. Also, this is the season that gave us Piz, and I, for one, will never complain about Piz.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS
You've read the arguments, and you've carefully considered both sides. Now it's time to rock the mothercussing vote!
Polls close this Saturday at midnight Central, with results posted on Monday. STAY TUNED.