Guys, seriously, how much longer are we going to stick with The 100? Because it certainly doesn't seem like it wants to stick with us.
Here's what happened in this subpar episode:
- Jasper, who is walking again, literally stumbles on Charlotte's knife laying next to a few of Wells' (RIP) fingers. Automatically assuming that the knife belongs to Crabbe (a.k.a. Murphy), Clarke accuses him of being the killer in front of the entire camp, which leads to angry mob lynching him up. (This made me extra uncomfortable in light of the earlier scene, when Crabbe-- we should really start calling him Draco-- was yelling like a plantation foreman at the black kid who was too tired to keep working.) In the nick of time, Charlotte confesses, but since she's a little girl instead of an asshole, Bellamy isn't quite sure what to do with her. Draco and his cronies want her head, obviously, but before they can get to her, Clarke and Finn escape with Charlotte into the woods.
- They hole up in an old bunker, which provides a romantically candlelit atmosphere for Finn and Clarke. Nothing happens... except that they fall asleep on each other, and Charlotte leaves. Bellamy finds her and attempts to save her, but Draco and his posse corner them on the edge of a cliff. After Clarke and Finn show up on the scene, Draco grabs Clarke and holds her at knifepoint to force Charlotte to turn herself over, but instead, Charlotte chooses to ignore Third Eye Blind's advice and takes a flying leap to her (assumed) death. I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, said no one watching at home.
- Bellamy punches the shizz out of Draco's face, but Clarke steps in and suggests that instead of continuing the killing cycle, they BANISH him. Except she doesn't say it as dramatically as the captain in Romeo + Juliet. BANISH-ED!
- Reeling from Wells' death (but not nearly enough?), Clarke decides to remove her wristband in order to punish her mother for turning in her dad. Monty takes it off without destroying it so that they can use it to communicate with the Ark, but his experiment fails and fries everyone's wristbands. NICE ONE, MONTY. The silver lining is that Jasper, who volunteered to use the wristband and therefore felt responsible for effing it up, gets a consolation kiss from Octavia.
- Speaking of romance, DAMN this show effed everything up with Clarke and Finn. Instead of slowly and sweetly building their chemistry (I chose to view Finn's gift of a pencil to Clarke as a nod to You've Got Mail), the writers decided to take a flying leap over the shark. Finn freaks out after the wristband debacle, so he heads to the bunker and trashes it until Clarke stops him by yelling, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE!" like five times. They kiss... and then have the fastest sex on the planet. Swoon City, Population: 0.
- Meanwhile, on the Ark, i.e. the place that NO ONE CARES ABOUT, Raven tries to get a pressure regulator for the pod from Nigel, who runs some kind of black market service. (It seems that Raven's mom was once in a similar position and resorted to prostitution. Ahh, backstory! I see what you're trying to do here, show.) After Raven refuses to sleep with one of the electrical crew members, Abby trades some morphine with Nigel to get the regulator. But oh snap, Nigel turns them both in to Kane, who marches down to arrest Abby. She's merely stalling him while Abby makes an escape on the pod. Oh, and Kane confirms that Finn was Abby's boyfriend. In other news, why the hell does Kane know about the dating lives of teenagers on the Ark?
Princess Count: 2
I'm too apathetic to think of a new category, plus "Princess" was actually uttered in this episode!
Death Toll: 1
BYE PSYCHO CHARLOTTE! Although, is anyone else hoping that she is somehow saved by the Grounders and returns as some sort of creepy assassin? Just me? Okay.
Mother Nature’s Surprise:
Planet Earth chose to be friendly in this episode, although that cliff was not forgiving.
Say What:
I nearly choked on my wine when Raven said, "Go float yourself, Nigel." Is float the new frak? (No, no it is not.)
Also, Clarke and Bellamy's entire conversation at the end of the episode was one heaping pile of garbage. "We don't decide who lives and dies. Not down here!" Sorry, Clarke, but you are no Goonie. Also, cut the sanctimonious crap or else I'll have to switch to Team Raven, and I reeeeally don't like Raven.
So, is Finn really going to be torn between Raven and Clarke? Or is his chemistry with the latter over, since they did the deed? With Wells gone, is the show going to try to force Bellamy into this love triangle? And is Draco going to morph into the Big Bad?
Most importantly, how many more episodes should we give this show, y'all? Because I've already had to bear the cross of The Secret Circle, and I ain't doing that shizz again.