Holy 75 minutes, wolf fans! That was QUITE A FINALE. And by "quite" I mean, "quite exciting even though they could all have saved themselves a ton of pain and suffering if they had any of them thought just once of calling Argent and/or Parrish before heading to La Iglesia." But what's a good Teen Wolf finale without a few eye-rollingly inane plot holes? We had naked Derek and jokey Stiles, so, all in all…let's call it a win.
To the recap!
(And if you stick around long enough, to the season 4 polls & awards included at the end!)
THIS WEEK'S WOLF PACK PUPPY
I want to give all the awards to Mason and his amazing bat-wielding war cry, but since he still *technically* doesn't know about the pack, this award has to go to the season's ringer: LIAM.
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He conquered his fear of not being heroic enough to fight in Scott's pack, his inability to control his animal side under the full moon, AND Scott's Berserker alter-ego—the last with a callback to Scott's own reassurance to him during his first full moon that they are werewolves, but they are NOT monsters. Way to go, Liam! I was ambivalent to your addition to the pack when the season started, but you've won me over to your cause.
BEST REACTION TO SOMETHING SUPERNATURALLY RIDICULOUS
Okay, THIS one I can give to Mason and his amazing bat-wielding war cry:
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Runner-up: Lydia, and her bat-wielding badassery that inspired him (and us).
WEEKLY REMINDER THAT BEACON HILLS IS ON A HELLMOUTH
Same as last week: the horror movie set-up that is Eichen House's secret supernatural sixth floor.
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I (DO NOT EVER) want to go to there.
REIGNING "PRESIDENT" OF THE SCOTT MCCALL "FAN" CLUB
Since the whole point of the finale is that everyone, really, is vying for President of the Scott McCall Fan Club, this week's award goes instead to the Scott-hating sleeper agent of the rescue mission, everyone's favorite douchey Devil in a V-neck, PETER HALE.
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That any of the rescue squad even for a minute thought Peter was trying to do anything BUT help himself was…disappointing. Malia! Do you not remember him running for his life from the first Berserker attack? Do the rest of you not remember him hiding in corners, safe from any possible harm, during all the other Big Bad final battles? At the very least his presence upped the likelihood of rescue failure through Peter's adandonment like a thousand-fold, nevermind his tendency towards villainy. GUYS.
Anyway, Peter hates Scott.
PREVIOUSLY ON TEEN WOLF
There was this supernatural dead pool plot with a truly shocking puppetmaster twist that we were MEANT to believe was the real point of the season, but it was really all just…wait for it…smoke and mirrors on the part of the writers, getting us to ignore the real threat of the unholy alliance that is Kate, Peter, and Aztec & Norse vengeance mythology. And what did that leger de main net us? A kidnapped Scott and Kira, a rebar-impaled Argent, and a mentally depleted Banshee. Oh, and also Scott getting turned into a Berserker by delusional vengeance jaguar goddess herself, Kate Argent. GOOD ONE, TEEN WOLF TEAM.
THIS WEEK
We open on something much less worse than a weeping girl trussed up in a body bag about to be devoured by a wendigo: a bloody and bruised Kira trapped in a bone pit! The bar for horrifying is set pre-tty high on this show, friends.
Except…Kira isn't trapped in the pit. The big metal gate that had been keeping her in is now unlocked and ajar. Our intrepid Kira, of course, slowly wanders her way out and into the tunnels, calling for Scott along the way. And does she ever find him! Fully trussed up in his new Berserker's skin, he is, through MAGIC, both a completely brainwashed animal, and like six inches taller than normal.
MAGIC.
What has not been magicked away from his physical person is his Very Special and Very Unique double banded bicep tattoo. As he is beating Kira's skull against the nearest stone wall, she sees it, stares into his eyes, and manages to croak out "…Scott?" just in time for Kate to enter the cavern. Kate clucks disapprovingly at her own oversight, vows to do a better job "covering that up" before the rest of the pack arrives on their white steeds, and launches into a villain's monologue on what, how, and why she did what she did to Scott.
Basically: she is la loba and the Berserkers are her very special pets who helped her survive after her flight from the Calaveras, and whom she learned to control after accepting aid and advice from the most unlikely of quarters. Oh, and she needed to have Scott attack Kira to test his loyalty to Kate, given his original true alpha nature. "He's gotten to have so much power, without ever having to kill anyone," she spits disgustedly, as if somehow Scott's purity as a teenage boy who asked for none of this to happen to him is somehow a personal affront to her. So she wants to see him kill. And kill someone he loves, if at all possible.
And Scott? Passes Kate's loyalty test with flying colors, punching straight down into Kira's chest with his Berserker bone blade.
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Meanwhile, Back at Ranch Hellmouth
Stiles is making his best stab at transparency by alerting his dad beforehand of his plans to travel to Mexico on a dangerous and poorly planned supernatural rescue mission.
The Sheriff is not having any of it. He is in on the supernatural game now, and really does…mostly…understand how acute and inexplicable any crises arising therein are likely to be. However, he can't quite let go of the idea that the proper channels of authority should be gone through before any rash, dangerous plans are made, or the idea that his son might once again be in legitimate danger of, well, being brutally killed. He will, in fact, lock his son up if he goes to Mexico without his dad's first okaying it. "It's Scott," Stiles says, point blank. "I'd STILL find a way."
Knowing that this is true, the sheriff acquiesces—they will both go after Scott…after the sheriff has called border patrol and all his counterparts in Mexico. "Sure, sure, okay, great," says Stiles. And it is like during the lacrosse game when he assured Liam that he was only mildly concerned, because while his mouth says he totally will go along with what his dad is proposing, his face—and his prompt arming of Malia with Scott's scent—say "I AM RESCUING MY FRIEND FROM MEXICO."
Sorry, Sheriff.
Seriously, Liam Hasn't Seen it, Either
Also rescuing his friend from Mexico is Liam, whom Stiles and Malia find in Scott's living room after she has found scent success not with Scott's boxers (it's life or death!), but with his pillow.
No no no no no, Stiles says when he sees the baby beta—tonight's the full moon, and unless they encase Liam in carbonite, there's no way any of them will be safe riding all the way into Mexico in a car with him and his unchecked wolfishness. "Okay," Liam says with complete sincerity, ready to live up to the hero's role being a member of Scott's pack entails, "then where can we get some carbonite?"
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Seriously.
Anyway, Liam isn't going to take no for an answer. And while the pack doesn't know any storm troopers with access to carbonite, they do know a US Marshall ("US Marshall") with access to a prison transport van, which is almost as good. And so our intrepid heroes gather the troops. Everyone's there: Stiles, Malia, Liam, Braeden, Derek. And if you are worried that might not be enough firepower, well, worry not! They called in the big guns, the literal firepower that they have turned to in times of trouble all season—nay, seasonS—long.
Nope, not Chris Argent, expert hunter and professional dealer of literal firepower. And nope, not Jordan Parrish, fireproof law enforcement and literal expert in explosives. Nope, neither of those very reasonable team players with whom they would have a much greater chance of success and who both have extremely pertinent information to the situation at hand. No, instead the team has called on…Peter Hale.
And Peter, he is SO ANXIOUS to get on the road and "save Scott." Too anxious, even, to wait until Lydia is located and added to the group, regardless of Stiles' anxiety over her absence. What if Kate has Scott down in Mexico to do to him what she did to Derek! …make him younger? No: bring him back to a pre-alpha state, and steal his alphahood that way. And we can't have that!
That Peter, he sure looooooves Scott. Sure glad he's on our side! Now make sure you all aim to kill those Berserkers, kids. Kill kill kill, killing is the only way to survive Berserkers! Did I mention we need to kill them? GREAT LET'S GET GOING.
Stiles is anxious about Lydia, but not quite as anxious as he is about Scott, so when Liam suggests having Mason, who is at a study group at school, look for her, Stiles agrees. And off the pack+Peter goes!
Beacon Hills High, Center of All Things Unholy
Lydia was at the school in the first place to retrieve a jacket from Kira's locker, as while they had gotten Kira's sword to bring along, it didn't have a strong enough scent for Malia to latch onto. Lydia did find the jacket, but only moments before a Berserker found her. Mason, after establishing that Lydia's car is still in the school lot, also finds Kira's jacket…along with Lydia's phone, abandoned on a set of stairs. And right after he picks up the phone and sees a blurry shot of a Berserker on the unlocked screen, he is knocked unconscious.
People. A Berserker is walking around the halls of BHHS in broad daylight. No way no one has noticed. ZIpped lips save ships…and lives…and sanities. Just ask Danny "I can't date a werewolf" Mahealani.
Anyway, Mason wakes up, also less his phone, in the BHHS basement alongside a pissed off Lydia. If only Lydia hadn't taken her PSAT a year early, she would have known how to access the Hale vault and use it as a means of escape (like she wouldn't be able to think her way around the Hale-claw-keyed entrance? pssh, please), but alas, she is too smart for her own good. No, she and Mason are trapped in the basement with a very civilized Berserker guarding their only point of escape.
After establishing that the Berserkers are its and not people, and also that this is clearly a plan to keep them trapped and unable to contact the outside world or provide any material aid to the rescue of Scott and Kira or the safety of Liam, Lydia arms herself and Mason with baseball bats and gets ready to make her move. "REALLY??" asks Mason, staring at her incredulously.
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You are our Queen.
The Berserker, of course, knocks them both right back against the storage cages.
Welp, it was a good effort, Lyds.
The Road to La Iglesia is Paved With Lies
Before sending Malia off alone with Peter on the drive to Mexico, Stiles warned her against any accidental opportunities for bonding. "Play the radio," he advised. "Loud." And so she does, all through the night. But she has learned too many human niceties to say no when Peter eventually asks her if he can turn the music down, and thus is subjected after all to some father-daughter bonding AKA Peter trying to brainwash her to his toxic point of view.
"Would Scott kill to save Kira?" he asks. "Would you, to save Stiles?" She doesn't have an answer for this. She just looks at the bright full moon and gulps down her coyote-power nausea. Oh, she's worried about staying in control, Peter deduces. No, Malia counters: she's trying to stay human. Like Scott taught her. "Well," Peter counter-counters, "this is one time that Scott's idiot human heroics, er, bless his heart, that lovable Scott who we definitely need to rescue and not kill, this is one time that he is wrong: your animal side will do you far more good, against those awful Berserkers who you definitely need to kill as soon as possible."
Malia still doesn't have a good response for her pater familias, and again turns to the moon. And then Peter asks her the character-exposing question: "Are you worried about Stiles?" But this one, Malia does have a ready answer for: she is worried about everyone.
Guys! IT'S PROGRESS.
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…who made this perfect gif connection between Malia in Mexico in 4x1 and Malia in Mexico in 4x12 for all our benefit. Thank you, teen-wolf master gifers!
That's all well and good, but here is a thing that doesn't happen: Peter reminding Malia of their deal for her to kill Kate in exchange for the identity of the Desert Wolf/her mother. Also not happening—and SPOILER ALERT—Malia ever ending up in the same space/fight as Kate once they reach La Iglesia, let alone being given any opportunity to kill her.
Oh, TW plot holes. Oh well.
Meanwhile, in the prison transport van, Braeden is driving while the two non-badass mostly mortals hang out in the back with a merely handcuffed Liam. The night comes on, the moon rises, and Liam's control, it starts to slip. But don't worry! Derek has come prepared with that well-used, super successful, completely non-magical triskelion medallion that has done no good for any of the teen wolves lo these four long seasons. But it's a family tradition Derek just can't give up on, so he brings it out once more to try on baby beta Liam.
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Stiles, understandably, is perplexed. But he knows Derek's heart is in the right place, and remembers how earnestly credulous Liam was re: carbonite, and so goes along with Derek's story about how very very supernaturally powerful the triskelion is. They wedge it in Liam's clawed fingers and Derek enjoins him to repeat the Alpha-Beta-Omega mantra that has always seemed kind of anxiety-inducing to me, but to no avail. Liam breaks through the handcuffs and makes immediately for both their mortal throats.
"I don't think it's working!" Stiles shouts, as the transport van careers all over the dirt road. "Well unless YOU know any other mantras!" Derek shouts back, barely keeping Liam's claws from slashing his beautiful face. And despite the fact that Satomi is Derek's old family friend, it is Stiles who recalls her Buddhist pack's mantra—probably because it comes in the form of a riddle, which was the key to the Nogitsune's power over him in season 3B.
"What three things can not long be hidden?" Stiles shouts in Liam's face. "LIAM WHAT THREE THINGS CAN NOT LONG BE HIDDEN." And somehow, Liam hears the question and internalizes it and is able to answer. And while this is all very silly, the sound mixing of Liam's human voice coming through and eventually overpowering his wolf voice is very effective. Nicely done, production team!
Final Destination
Derek is so pleased at escaping being disembolwed by Liam that upon arrival at La Iglesia, he just throws open the van's back door and hops out without even looking out for enemy combatants. He is, of course, immediately impaled by a Berserker blade.
DEREK. Always so goddamned tragic.
Collapsing to the ground, bleeding profusely, Derek gasps to Stiles that they all have to go on. Stiles is as torn about this as he was about leaving Lydia behind—that is, he is, but he is obviously going to go after Scott. So he and Malia and Liam and Peter turn to leave. And because everyone on this rescue mission is incredibly logical and goal-oriented, Braeden, badass mercenary being paid more to bring Kate in than Kate was ever worth on the dead pool, stays behind.
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I mean, eventually it works out because, for whatever reason, Kate has brought several Berserkers and herself topside rather than stay to watch her pet Berserker project get mauled by his own hunting dogs in the buried Aztec temple, so Braeden has plenty of things to shoot at while she is simultaneously watching the life leak from Derek's eyes. But just because both badass ladies end up on the same turf doesn't mean it makes sense.
Speaking of plot twists that don't make sense, Braeden and Derek are saved from certain violent deaths by a whole pile of shiny black Calaveras clan SUVs rolling up in a blaze of gun-shooting glory. And who brought the Calaveras clan right to the location where extra guns were needed?
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Okay, you two are super welcome—and you look ultra good in that leather jacket, Parrish—but, seriously, you had time to call the Calaveras clan but not one single spare second to text Stiles throughout your entire multiple-hour journey south of the border? I mean, I know Argent suffered a major medical emergency and it is a near-miracle he is up an shooting right now as is, but it wasn't a head injury. He had been pretty adamant about communicating Peter's betrayal to the kids back in that sewer tunnel.
TW PLOT HOLES. OH WELL.
SOME Tunnels Get Reception
Look: La Iglesia is an ancient Aztec temple buried underground in the Mexican desert, and it gets better service than a mere sewer service tunnel in Beacon Hills. If that doesn't prove BH is on a hellmouth, I don't know what does.
Using the amazing service in the Mexican desert is Stiles, who has to take a call from his VERY ANGRY father re: his absconding to Mexico after explicitly promising not to. And to make matters worse, he can't even promise the sheriff that he's safe, not without lying.
Stilinski recognizes that there's nothing he can do to punish Stiles from the other end of a phone, so instead asks what he can do to help. And what he can do is go rescue Lydia and Mason from the high school, since she hasn't called the entire time they have been gone, and so must be trapped there. And if it is by a Berserker, he cautions his dad, he'll need a lot of firepower.
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Luckily, Parrish has defused more than a reasonable number of IEDs in Beacon Hills in the last few months, so the evidence locker (or wherever such appropriated weapons are stored at the Beacon Hills Sheriff's Station…the break room?) had firepower to spare.
After they wade through the dust and detritus of the exploded Berserker, Lydia repeats her analysis of this all being one big distraction to keep her away from the Mexican rescue party. Because if she were there, she would know who was going to die…or something. Somehow, she would know who Scott was. It made sense when I was watching, but now I forget exactly how. Maybe that she would know her friend was going to die, and when she saw the pack going after the Berserker, would put two and two together and know it was Scott and stop them. Yes, that sounds right.
Final Destination 2
Thankfully, that other friend whose death Lydia would have felt, were she to have made it on the rescue mission, is not so murdered by Scott after all.
Kira, left for dead in one of the desolate temple tunnels, is bleeding to death from a massively disturbing chest wound. She is hallucinating an infuriatingly true-to-life zen master conversation with her mother, who tells her to learn to heal by…learning to heal. It is just the very thing her mother would say. Nice imagination, Kir. But her subconscious does eventually give her the tools she needs to trigger her healing: the memory that foxes and wolves are similar creatures, and wolves trigger healing through pain. So Kira uses her still-enviable kitsune strength to punch a hole in the obsidian wall and break awak a shard just the right size to squeeze into the skin and bone of her fist. And BOOM: healing achieved.
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And thank god she does heal herself: she runs into Stiles just in time to explain the truth of Scott's condition, and the two of THEM make it to the central temple chamber just in time to stop Liam and Malia (and Peter) from delivering the final killing blow to Berserker!Scott, who they have been engaged in hand-to-hand combat with this entire time. Sure, saving Scott from being mauled by his own pack is all well and good, but the important thing here is, Peter was FINALLY in the middle of a fight! A made up fight, against Scott, who he was egging the others on to kill. How Peter figured out it was Scott, out of all the possible Berserkers around, who knows, but still—a fight! In which he could actually have gotten hurt!
Kira's appearance is not, unfortunately, enough to snap Scott from his Berserker spell. Nor is Stiles. Berserker!Scott immediately sets upon the pack again, punching and punching and slicing and almost killing, and all with the added advantage of his bonus six vertical inches, and eventually he gets his fist around Liam's neck and Liam pressed against a wall. And Liam, he calls back Scott's breakthrough message to him from his first transformation and, through the power of a father's alpha's love, tugs Scott back to reality. "You're not a monster," he says…
Scott is back! And it is at this moment that I realized that we have been watching like an hour of a television show without its lead player in it even in flashbacks. And an hour was just perfect—I love Scott, but hadn't actually missed him yet, there was so much else going on. But I was very happy to have him back. Good sense of balance, writers!
Final Destination 3
While Scott is busy being THE ULTIMATE TRUE ALPHA down below the church, Derek is busy dying above it. Well, a lot of people topside are busy dying, most of them the gun-happy Calaveras clan. Maybe a Berserker or two goes down in the process, but mostly its the Calaveras red shirts. And Derek. Who, despite Braeden's best attempts at resucitation-through-tears (it worked in Tangled!), cannot be healed.
So yeah, he dies. It's pretty sad. Braeden is sad AND pissed, and takes off after Kate. Also after Kate is Chris, who has loaded his pistol with his special golden wolfsbane bullet. Neither Braeden nor Chris get to her first, though, because first, a handsome black wolf leaps at her from the shadows and starts tearing at her throat and chest.
That wolf?
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Derek wasn't dead—he was evolving. All that loss of power they all thought were side effects of Kate's Baby!Derek spell on him from the start of the season (to get the "super powerful" triskelion that she ultimately just…left behind) was all a precursor to this evolution. I guess. Yeah, sure. Why not. This is another non-tragic turn in Derek's life story. I'll give it to him.
Then, just to prove his newly won strength, Derek pulls off the nearest Berserker’s skull WITH HIS BARE HANDS. And in Kate’s frantic flight away from that show of raw power, she turns her back on a sensitive vantage point from which Chris shoots her with his wolsfbane bullet. She looks at him, betrayed and genuinely hurt, then run-limps off.
A True Alpha
Down below the church, Scott may have won his freedom from Berserkerdom, but he hasn't won the war. After he divests himself of half his Berserker gear and that extra six inches of height, he faces Peter at the other end of the cavern. It is, quite literally, a Mexican standoff.
"YOU," Scott growls, staring at the one member of the rescue party who doesn't seem shell-shocked in the least at the proof of what had happened to him, "YOU'RE the unlikely quarter Kate want to for advice. And what for? Power??"
”All for my FAMILY’S power,” Peter growls back, slowly transforming into the near-demon wolf we haven't seen him become since his return from the dead. The power that should belong to him, not some little upstart usurper who won't even use it.
Malia, nearest Peter, flashes her eyes and leaps for him, but he just flings her back against the wall like she's a sack of flour. Oh EFF THAT Peter. EFF THAT. Kira wields her katana to step in, but Scott calls to her to stop. This is his fight.
Peter agrees. “You were my beta first, Scott," he menaces through wolfy teeth. "It was my bite that changed your life, and my bite that can change it back.” Less talking, more walking, old man, Scott calls back. And then they FIGHT, and Peter gets all the more pissed because Scott won't even fight like an alpha (i.e., dirty). After a long bout in which neither has the upper hand, Peter cruel-laughs that if Scott wants to defeat him, he'll have to kill him, and then he threatens Liam, and that combination—the threat against his beta and the call to his pure platinum hero's heart—glavanizes Scott into perfect understanding: he can, and will, defeat Peter without killing him. And thus begins the dream I never knew I had: the Teen Wolf/Avatar: the Last Airbender crossover, in which Scott practices Aang's airbender non-fighting.
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Basically this, but in super dark Teen Wolf lighting, and with a final uppercut to the jaw. Scott's amazing but he's no AANG. Or rather, Peter is no innocent Fire Nation teen high school jerk. He's an actual psychopath. Uppercut deserved. Aang would have done the same. GOOD JOB, SCOTT.
Right before delivering the final blow (which, to the writers' credit, was meant to be unclear whether or not it was a killing blow, but spoiler: it wasn't), Scott delivers a Melissa McCall-level declaration: "You were never an alpha," he says calmly. "But you were ALWAYS a monster."
TRUER WORDS.
More Delusions in Villainy
Chris chases Kate down into the La Iglesia tunnels, both winded and wounded by more than just weapons. Guys, this scene is incredible. When he finally corners her, she is nearly weeping at his betrayal. He is, too. Does he really want to kill her, she asks, shocked and hurt. No. Not really. But he also doesn't really want to save her, not anymore. He honestly doesn't know what to do.
This triggers a bitter laugh on her part, and memories of their childhood in which she was always the bad guy. Well, Kate…you probably were. Delusions come from somewhere.
Anyway, then Kate comes back at him with her real motivation—or A real motivation, mixed in with her very many crazy ones. And Chris comes back SWINGING because what she has to say is just so much bullshit and Kate is the only one who doesn’t know it.
(And I am going to break my normal 2-gif only rule for this, because my words won't do the acting in this exchange any justice at all)
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Who would KATE die for? he demands, spitting. Kate has no answer but to run away. She knows Chris isn’t going to kill her or chase her. Argent, watching her go, breaks down hard. From all kinds of pain—his rebar-pierced abdomen, sure, but also from the grief of Allison catching up to him all over again and/or at full strength and realization for the first time.
Goddamn. SHOW. You're breaking my heart!
A Promise to the Living
I.e. to us the viewers, re: Season 5.
The next scenes are pulled together as a kind of montage under the amazing "Arsonist's Lullaby," by Hozier. I could NOT love this song more than I do, and. I will watch this ending again and again and again.
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La Iglesia, in the sun. Argent is leaving with the Calaverases and Peter’s NOT dead body. Scott can’t believe he is going with those crazy hunters with whom he has no common point of view, but Argent made a deal with them weeks ago: they will leave Scott’s pack alone, if Argent joins them hunting down Kate. And if he doesn’t do that…well. Somebody’s got to. POTENTIAL PLOT #1.
After Chris and the Calaveras crew leave, it is Derek and Braeden's turn. Scott doesn't need to say anything in particular to Derek at this parting—they just share a meaningful "we're brothers now" look. As Derek helps Braeden load her stuff into the police transport van, we get POTENTIAL PLOT #2: Is Braeden really a US Marshall? She was, but spent too long going after one person, so long it became an obsession. And who was she looking for? Which is a question Derek maybe would really ask, but it is so very obviously a set up to have Braeden say the one and only name that she could possibly say to warrant its presence in the script: the Desert Wolf.
In an actual moment of wrap-up, Stiles and his dad finally reunite, hugging in all their smelly Stilinski glory, and inviting Malia in to join in the nice family moment. I was really touched by this, until I remember YET AGAIN that Malia HAS a father. An adopted father, maybe, but a father who loves her and missed her terribly while she was gone and probably would like to know that she has not gone missing again. Malia! Go hug your father! Hell, invite him to pizza with you and the sheriff. He's probably starved from worry, and it's not like Stiles will be there to embarass you.
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PLOT POTENTIAL #3: Kira brought back the shard of obsidian that sliced her hand into triggering her healing process. Her dad, lovable kook that he is, made a slight addition to it—a hole in the center—that, when Noshiko points it out, makes Kira realize that it is her first "tail." It's a kitsune thing. The more tails, the more power. Kira is on her way!
Another moment of wrap-up: Liam making the WORST lacrosse excuses for all three of them being absent the past couple days. It’s so fantastic. Coach doesn't believe a word of Liam's explanation that Scott brought Kira to Mexico for their first date "to make it special," and had to be retrieved by Liam and Stiles, but he likes Liam and trusts the other two idiots to take care of him. And in case you forgot, this is a line that FOR REAL came out of Finstock's mouth: “I’ve had experiences south of the border that would knock the genitals off you boys.” I LOVE THIS SHOW.
PLOT POTENTIAL #4: Lydia, not going to school because why even bother pretending anymore, brings Parrish the hard copy Bestiary they finally transferred from Peter's dusty computer. Whatever Deputy Dreamboat is, it’ll probably be in there. And whatever he is, she’d like to help him figure it out.
PLOT POTENTIAL #5: Peter, hopped on wolfsbane, is brought to a special cell on the special floor of Eichen House. I am PRETTY sure it was empty when he got there, but as he screams on about how THEY are the crazy ones if they think a little wolfsbane will hold in the likes of Peter Hale, a smooth British voice interrupts to tell him that "it isn’t just the wolfsbane." And that it’s easier to show than explain. And then he unveils the trepanned eye hole and FINALLY something to scare the bejeezus out of Peter Hale.
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NEXT WEEK
Nothing! Our favorite cast ever gets to take a well-deserved break, and since they aren't returning until NEXT SUMMER…maybe the break will be long enough even to convince Isaac/Sharman to haul his beautiful self back from France/the CW to come vie with Liam for Best Beta in season 5.
A girl can dream. And in the meantime, can help our favorite beautiful idiot&sarcastic beta&BAMF hunter raise money for cystic fibrosis by buying a t-shirt with their faces on it. #NETWOLFING
And now, some…
SEASON 4 AWARDS AND POLLS
This Season's Wolf Pack Puppy
Easy: Liam. Welcome to hell, kid!
Parrish, you are On Watch for this award in season 5A…GET READY.
Best Reminder That Beacon Hills is on a Hellmouth
Another easy one: EICHEN HOUSE. Place was creepy enough as a shittily-run human mental institution. Everyone in Beacon Hills is one weak wall away from supernatural Armageddon, now that we know about the secret sixth floor.
Best Reaction to Something Supernaturally Ridiculous
I'm going to go with Coach Finstock immediately drafting Kira to the team after she jetted a ball into his gut from the stands during tryouts. It was the move that made me invent the category, I think, and it remains the funniest to this day.
Most Convlouted Plan
Best Eye Glow
Best Condescension from Lydia
Most Hotly Anticipated Season 5 Plot Point
And, finally:
TRUE President of the Scott McCall Fan Club
Stiles is his BFF, Liam is his surrogate "son," Kira is in lurve, Malia and Argent are both in deep admiration, Lydia just knows what's true, and Derek will always and forever be the tragic hero who has no real connection to Scott but is ready to die for him…but at the end of the day, #BAMFMamaMcCall is the once and future President of Scott McCall Love.
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LOVE YOU FOREVER, MELISSA.
See you next summer, wolf fans! There will be sleuthing/swooning…
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