Last week on The 100: Clarke and Anya make it to Camp Jaha just in time for the guards to shoot and kill Anya, while Jaha gets taken prisoner and Raven and Wick's chemistry sparks my allegiance to Team Wicken.
Okay y'all. There's only one way to start my recap of this TOTALLY B-A-N-A-N-A-S episode.
Take it away, Jasper!
Seriously, though. WHY IS THIS SHOW SO GOOD? BECAUSE IT IS SO GOOD. LIKE BONKERS GOOD. LIKE HOW IS THIS NOT ON HBO GOOD.
Here's what happened:
In Camp Jaha:
Clarke gets dragged in by the guards, and because she looks absolutely disgusting, no one recognizes her... until Abigail sees her! Because a mother's love can pierce through even the thickest layer of blood and mud. Clarke asks if Finn and Bellamy made it, and we collectively notice that she said "Finn" first. After she gets cleaned up (kind of), she tells Abby that they need to move against Mt. Weather.
But who cares about those other 47 kids because BELLAMY IS BACK! And Clarke runs up and hugs him!!!! And it is THE GREATEST MOMENT EVER.* Octavia comments wryly, "There's something I thought I'd never see," and was anyone else way too distracted by Bellamy's bicep flex when he hugged Clarke? Or the way they locked eyes on each other? I can't find a gif (yet) of that moment so we'll have to rely on this one for now.
*Until we get some kissing. But no rush, show, no rush. Let's not jump the shark this time.
Clarke ruins it by asking, "Where's Finn?" To which Bellamy replies, "He's looking for you." DRAMATIC MOMENT.
Unfortunately, the crew at Camp Jaha doesn't have the manpower to both scope out Mt. Weather and look for Finn and Malfoy, and since Abby knows her daughter, she forbids anyone from leaving the camp. But she only knows the old version of her daughter, because after she leaves, Clarke immediately says, "We're gonna need guns."
Raven helps them escape by getting Wick to turn off the electrical fence. (Thanks, dude! Wish we could've seen your face to thank you in person.) And Octavia leads the way, natch.
At night, lit only by the romantic light of a campfire, Bellamy gazes at Clarke while she's sleeping. She wakes up, so they talk about their burgeoning passion for each other the fact that Finn has changed. They decide that their first step is to find Finn and Malfoy, and then find Lincoln.
Meanwhile, back at Camp Jaha, Abby confronts Raven about Clarke & Co.'s escape, and Raven lies, saying she knows nothing. So then Abby SLAPS HER ACROSS THE FACE. DAYUM. But Raven keeps her cool and reminds Abby that Clarke, "stopped being a kid the day you sent her down here to die." PREACH.
At Mt. Weather
President Snow Wallace calls Jasper into his office to inform him that Clarke has run away, but if Jasper wants to, the president will allow him to go after her. Oh, how KIND of you.
Meanwhile, down in the basement, Lincoln is strapped to a chair. Without his shirt. Because that's science. He's getting shot up with (I assume) blood by HOLD THE PHONE IT'S JOHNNY WHITWORTH.
What happened to "damn the man," A.J.? Because you look like you're totally working for him now. He gives Lincoln another round of shots, then pulls out a Men In Black light stick, which emits a piercing sound that makes Lincoln lose his shizz. Apparently, it's all part of a test, Phase One, that then leads to Phase Two, when Lincoln gets locked in a room with another Grounder and they fight to the death over one more dose of the Magic Blood. That's some conditioning, y'all. What's next, a job at Musictown?
Upstairs, Jasper has fallen for the president's bullshizz, but Monty hasn't. Stay strong, son! They decide to leave in search for Clarke, but oh, how convenient, a radiation leak suddenly occurs, and Maya's face turns REAL GROSS. Doctor Lady tells Jasper that the only way to save her is to mix his blood with hers which... cannot be sound medical advice. But Jasper agrees anyway, cos he's sweet, and Monty sticks around, cos he's (rightfully) suspicious. Maya eventually wakes up, feeling better than ever, but unfortunately we can't say the same for Jasper, who looks to' up.
Immediately after Maya's recovery, the president and Bad A.J. have a pow-pow with the Lady Doctor, who apparently wasn't supposed to be experimenting on the kids. But who cares, because it worked! And now she wants to move ahead with the 47! And bee tee dubs, A.J. is the president's son! Wonder if he still glues quarters to the floor.
In the forest
Kane is planting a Bonsai tree? Oh, for his mom. That's sweet. His Grounder prisoner is refusing water, but Kane convinces him to drink so they can stop the killing together.
They head towards the Grounder's camp, which is marked by radiation warnings and a sign that says, "No weapons beyond this point." Kane dutifully dumps his weapons and then sends the rest of his soldiers back to camp. Dude, I admire your morals but that Grounder is HUGE. And, sure enough, as soon as Kane unties him, the Grounder punches him in the face then kicks him the head for good measure.
They end up in... the set of The Maze Runner? No, it's just an old subway shaft, where Kane is dumped as a prisoner. But he's not alone because WHAT THE WHAT IT'S JAHA AND I CAN'T EVEN.
In a different part of the forest
Finn and Malfoy have reached the Grounder village, but it appears to be a family community. In spite of all of the evidence, Finn is convinced that Clarke is there, and suddenly I get VERY nervous about this situation. Malfoy does too, because he says, "You know, I think I liked you better as a peacemaker." Um, when Malfoy is the voice of reason, you know things are officially INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE. Finn lights the food storehouse on fire (really quickly, might I add) then takes a villager hostage until everyone is rounded up. And hey, it's Nyko, the bearded hipster healer dude! I'm sure he'll save the-- nope, nope, Finn is just THAT crazy. He finds some uniforms from the drop ship, which further convince him that Clarke is there, and then, when a Grounder tries to escape, he just lets the bullets fly. And fly. And fly.
This scene is terrible yet freaking amazing. Especially when Clarke and Bellamy appear on the horizon, and Finn's eyes go wide. "I found you," he breathes, while Clarke, horrified, slowly backs away.
END SCENE. END. THE MOTHERCUSSING. SCENE.
Mt. Weather 101:
So, they're brainwashing Grounders to be soldiers? And they want to use the blood from the 47 kids to make themselves impervious to radiation? Okay crazy.
Death Toll: 12 Grounders, At Least
Finn gunned down a TON of Grounders in that village. Ugh, it totally gave me an ulcer.
Say What:
Raven to Octavia, when she tried to go through the electrified fence:
Not so fast, Pocahontas.
Bellamy on Finn:
You haven't seen him, Clarke. Losing you, the others, the war, it changed him.
Like, REAL fast.
Jaha to Kane:
So we meet again.
Because, you know, that's the first thing you would say if you found someone from your space station locked in a random subway tunnel with you.
Burning Questions:
- What the eff are they gonna do with Finn?
- What the eff are they gonna do with Lincoln?
- Is Jasper going to be okay?
- Who's going to admit their feelings first, Clarke or Bellamy?
- How will Kane and Jaha save themselves from the "fight to the death" that we glimpsed in the next episode's preview?
- HOW WILL WE SURVIVE UNTIL DECEMBER 3rd, i.e. the date of the next new episode? NOT COOL, SHOW. NOT COOL.
Leave your answers/predictions/rants/shipping in the comments!