Previously on The Originals: Koleb’s magic isn’t limited to his voice, Finncent falls into a trap, Klaus has to kill his father, and Elijah battles his demons.
Everything was adorable until it became a scene straight out of The Birds.
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
Rebekah’s back! Rebekah! We missed you. Never leave us again.
But first, let’s pay a little visit to the bayou. Hayley and Jackson are deep in debate about the solution that could keep the wolves from needing moonlight rings – that is, if Hayley marries Jackson, their unique bloodlines will unite and strengthen each member of the pack. Great! Hayley’s ready to get a couple of rings and throw a party. The catch? The marriage has to be real…in every way…for the entirety of their lives. (It doesn’t say anything about polygamy, so I’ll just keep clinging to my Hayley-Elijah-Jackson wedding-cake-and-eating-it-too fantasy.)
In the land of angry teenage witches, Davina is furious about losing the white oak stake. When she tells Marcel it’s missing, he tells her that he’s the one who took it…and Kol. Koleb. Kaleb. They seem to have a little trouble deciding on what to call him, and Marcel pulls some seriously fatherlike posturing, all but grounding Davina for life.
Davina won’t be so easily stopped, though. With a detour through Thai takeout – and Aiden and Josh’s first kiss! – she sets a trap for Klaus and goes off to confront him.
Speaking of Klaus, he’s joyously torturing his brothers. Marcel is assigned to torture Koleb (I get by with a little help from my adopted vampire pseudo-son) while Klaus does the honors of smacking Finncent around. (There is no time I find Klaus more attractive than when he is gleefully dashing off the psychotic one-liners. He practically glows. The “denial of pastries” line? Be still, my heart.) Koleb comes around to Team Vampire, but Finncent is far more stubborn; it seems as though Lesther has a few more pairs of boots for him to lick. Finncent drops the Dahlia bomb before Davina rudely interrupts the reunion.
Davina taunts Klaus into biting her, infecting him with whatever she’s infused into her bloodstream. Klaus falls unconscious, but to her surprise, Koleb isn’t quite ready to sell his brother down the river. Davina only agrees to wake Klaus up when she learns that Lesther has been prepping Cami to be a vessel…Rebekah’s human vessel.
OH HELL NO.
That’s not the most pressing issue, however: Rebekah calls Klaus, panicked, because Elijah is Seriously Losing It. Lesther’s spell has triggered an obsessive need to be “clean,” and he killed everyone in the diner. Rebekah, protecting her niece, snaps his neck and goes into hiding.
Klaus gleefully returns Finncent to his casket-home of 900-years, and sets off with Hayley to meet up with Rebekah…and their daughter.
BAD BROTHERS. NO PASTRIES 4 U.
The Original Mythology
- Ansel was witness to the unification ceremony, which had been passed down as myth to the current wolf generation.
The Original Body Count
- RIP, diner people.
The Original Elegant Uncle Elijah Ruined Suit Count: 3.5
- The waitress spilled coffee on the suit, and for that, the entire diner had to die. Whoa, Elijah, this is what dry cleaners are for.
The Original WTF
- That’s a lot of “ain’t,” Jackson.
- Klaus, calmly eating beignets, not spilling any of the powdered sugar on his white shirt. Klaus + Beignets 4Ever.
The Original Joseph Morgan Award For Tortured Hot People
Let’s give the people what they want, and the people want Elijah holding a baby.
Next episode: Klaus, Hayley, and Hope are reunited. Hayley touches Elijah's cheek. The midseason finale is going to be such a tease, you guys.