The 100 2x10: Survival Of The Fittest

Previously on The 100, the Mt. Weather kids craft an SOS signal but Monty gets caged, while the alliance between the Sky People and the Grounders is threatened by some Grounder mutiny. Oh yeah, and love is weakness.

REAL TALK, y'all. Even the most amazing shows have weak episodes. The important thing to remember is that those episodes are still a thousand times better than most of the drivel on TV. So yeah, maybe this wasn't The 100's strongest hour. Perhaps a maniac gorilla and shimsham CGI were regrettable decisions. But like Matthew McConaughey with a nasty mustache or Taylor Kitsch with a man bun, the hotness of The 100 perseveres in spite of the occasional bad choice.

In other words, I'd still hit that!

In the forest:

Lincoln and Bellamy are being hot badasses together, en route to Mt. Weather. Lincoln stops to... cut a dead deer. Dude, is that really necessary? Then he smears deer blood on his face. I repeat, IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY? Just when you think a character on this show might get clean, they douse themselves in blood. TYPICAL. Lincoln tells Bellamy that, after he was captured, he was tagged as Cerberus, and Bellamy, who apparently aced his Mythology 101 class, notes that it's the same name as the three-headed dog who guards the underworld. They share a Moment when Bellamy admits that Lincoln has been good for Octavia, and Lincoln talks about how, as a child, he discovered a human who fell to earth in a ship (apparently an attempted suicide). He wanted to learn the man's language, and because of that, his father forced him to murder the human. File that under Grounder Parenting Tips!

Eventually, the duo reaches the entrance to one of the Mt. Weather tunnels, and Bellamy must pretend to be Lincoln's prisoner. But when a Raider party shows up, Lincoln FREAKS, and Bellamy can barely get him to keep up the act. The head Raider tells Lincoln to put his captive "on the log," and then Bellamy gets blindfolded and I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE BIT. The creepy Mt. Weather scientists come out to sort people (and not in the Hogwarts way), and is it wrong to be happy that this terrible predicament gives us an excuse to see Bells (pet name alert!) in his underwear? The syringes make their appearance, and instead of launching the attack, Lincoln acts like a druggie in withdrawal and sinks down, seemingly eager to accept his shot. So Bellamy, tagged as "harvest," gets carted away and I AM NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

Also in the forest:

Clarke is Dr. Professional, talking strategy with a bunch of hulking Grounders and trying to figure out how to take Mt. Weather. Quint, a particularly aggressive dude, wants to take it by storm, but Clarke insists on waiting for Bellamy to get inside and lower the defenses. Lexa says the latter is a prayer, not a plan, and Clarke storms out. Suddenly, amidst the trees, Quint begins taunting her and shooting arrows like a wannabe Katniss. She runs away, then spies Lady Guard WHO IS MISSING AN ARM OMG GROSS. Quint catches up to Clarke and almost kills her, but Lexa and her guard step in, giving Clarke the chance to kill her would-be murderer. She hesitates, and in that moment, they hear a monstrous roar. Obviously, something else killed Lady Guard. In a stone cold move, Lexa slashes Quint's legs so he can't run and then they take off. Lots of CGI trees move and then something attacks Quint.

That something turns out to be KING KONG. What the? Really? Seriously? A giant, bloodthirsty gorilla is really how you want to go, show? Well, at least Clarke and Lexa get to be totally fierce as they try to kill it and then escape into some kind of large holding pen.

On the way, Lexa breaks her arm, but Clarke refuses to leave her, causing Lexa to condemn her as weak. A few hours later, Clarke gets the genius idea to trap Mr. Kong inside the pen, and once they break free, Lexa apologizes by saying that Clarke's heart shows no sign of weakness. Damn, Lexa, you couldn't have said that before Clarke sent Bellamy to certain doom? But Clarke isn't done with her epiphanies. What if, she wonders, Bellamy frees the Grounders imprisoned inside of Mt. Weather? (Shhh, nobody tell her that those poor fools are weak from blood loss and mind control. Also, BELLS IS CAPTURED AND I AM REALLY NERVOUS)

At Camp Jaha:

Indra marches in with a group of warriors to begin training with the Sky People so they can eventually take Mt. Weather. Jaha, recently released, is all Mr. Gloomy Pants about it. And hey, it's Malfoy! I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's good to see you! And there's Octavia, looking clean! (Let's enjoy it while it lasts). One of the Grounders from the village (where Finn shot people) gives Malfoy a hard time, but then Malfoy gets blamed for trying to start something. It's not fair, so it's extra satisfying when he throws a punch after the Grounder says that Malfoy will burn like his friend Finn. Everyone starts fighting, leading me to question the value of the internet because seriously, there's not a gif of "FIIIIIGHT!" from Now & Then, nor a gif from Joey's "Ewww, fight!" in 10 Things I Hate About You? World wide web, more like WORTHLESS wide web.

Somehow, everyone ends up back outside doing fight exercises. Octavia reeeeally wants to join in, while Malfoy watches from inside with Jaha, who apparently got him off work detail. (How a recent prisoner can get a future prisoner out of trouble is beyond me.) I smell an an alliance! He gets Malfoy to take him to the drop ship to visit Wells' grave, and then, while Jaha grieves over his son's buried body, Malfoy tells him the truth about how Wells died, i.e. a little girl killed him because she couldn't kill his dad. ALL ABOARD FOR A GUILT TRIP! Their heart to heart continues late into the night, with Jaha telling him about the City of Light, "a place where everyone is accepted." He swears that, "Once I find it, I'm gonna come back and lead my people home." Call ~~Christian Bale~~ Charlton Heston because somebody just stole his part as Moses! The next morning, a group of Jaha disciples show up, ready to head to the City of Light. And Malfoy decides to drink the Kool-Aid!

Meanwhile, at training camp, Kane offers to show the Grounders how to shoot a gun, and Indra adamantly refuses. Octavia says they're scared of guns-- legend has it that if a Grounder picks up a gun, Mt. Weather will wipe out their entire village. Legend also has it that legends can be conveniently made up in the writers room.

That night, Octavia challenges Indra to a fight. In the rain. Just like in all of the best music videos/dance movie sequences. But Indra commands a HUGE dude to take on Octavia (which really isn't cool), and consequently, she takes a BEATING. And then she gets up. MORE BEATING. And then she gets up again. Uh, internal bleeding much? Girl, STAY DOWN. Thankfully, Indra stops the dude from flat out pummeling her to death, then tells Octavia that she fought like a child. OUCH! (I mean that literally and figuratively). I'd like to take a moment and commend the make-up team for giving Octavia that radiant "bruised" look. Indra throws her a bone by offering to make her a warrior, a.k.a. her "second." What are her motives?! We don't know, because the first lesson is, "Don't question me." Dammit, Indra, you got us this time! Then the Grounders make BBQ for everyone, and Kane asks Octavia to be a spy, and WHO CAN SHE TRUST? The truth is out there, Octavia.

Grounder 101:

Leaders are chosen by reincarnation! Which, honestly, sounds just a smidge more ridiculous than our current campaign finance system.

Death Toll: 3

Lady Guard, Quint and nameless Lexa guard, your deaths were not in vain.*

*Just kidding. Getting killed by a CGI gorilla is EMBARRASSING.

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