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Welcome to week sixteen of the rewatch project, superfans! Did you ever wonder what really happened to the Roanoke colony? Supernatural’s got answers. Not the right ones, probably. Still, this episode guest stars a Pacific Rim hottie!
Let’s toast the casting director!
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THE OFFICIAL FYA SUPERNATURAL DRINKING GAME:
Take a drink every time:
• Dean or Sam flashes a badge
• A demon possesses some hapless schmuck
• Sam tries to talk about feelings only to be spurned by Dean
• Dean crams his face full of junk food
• Anyone makes a deal with a demon
• Either brother picks a lock
• Someone employs a Titan of Classic Rock as an alias
• The Glorious and Faithful Impala is damaged in the line of duty
2x9: Croatoan
Monster of the Week: Demonic Virus
Brace yourself for another one of Sammy’s psychic visions of violence, darlings. He sees a man tied to a chair, pleading with a visibly distressed Dean for his life. But claiming he has no choice, Dean shoots.
The Winchesters head off to investigate the vision in a small town. They describe the man in the vision to the first person they meet, a retired army guy called Sarge.
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Sarge is the best.
He identifies the man as Duane. But before they can go to Duane’s home, Sam notices something else of interest, carved into a tree.
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How graffiti artists troll.
Given the mysterious disappearance of the Roanoke colony, Sam is also freaked out. He wants to call Ellen and Bobby for back up. But their cell phones are dead. So are the landlines.
On high alert, the boys go looking for Duane. He’s not home, but his little brother and dad act squirrely enough that Sam and Dean sneak around for a look through the back window. Inside, Duane’s dad attacks his mom, slitting his arm open and trying to drip blood into her own open wounds. The boys rush in to save her, and end up shooting the dad while the boy runs away.
The Winchesters take Duane’s mom to the clinic. The blood samples from the dad show he was fighting off a viral infection. Also? It’s coated with sulfur residue. When the doctor tries to get a blood sample from the mom, she attacks.
Dean drive out of town to get help only to run into a barricade set up by a bunch of rifle-toting men. One tries to persuade Dean to get out of the Impala.
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Clever Dean floors it instead, fleeing in a hail of bullets. In town, he runs into Sarge and they have the best “are you evil” gun standoff of all time. I must quote this because it is perfect.
SARGE: What’s wrong with everyone? My neighbor, Mr. Rogers—”
DEAN: You’ve got a neighbor named Mr. Rogers?
SARGE: Not anymore.
And, scene.
Back at the clinic, Sam figures that Croatoan is the name of some sort of demonic virus. Without hesitation, Dean shoots the Duane’s mom. Later, when Duane shows up at the clinic, Dean wants to shoot him too rather than waiting for hours for the doctor to run the viral test to confirm whether he’s sick. He even locks Sam in a closet so he can do it, but in the end, can’t take a potentially innocent life.
Things calm down. That is until the clinic’s nurse attacks Sam. She’s infected and crazy strong.
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Demonic Virus > Wheaties.
She bleeds right into his wound. The rest of the clinic crew think he must be infected and want to kill him. But Dean’s not trying to hear that. He tells Sarge to leave with Duane, he’s staying with Sam.
In the end, Sam’s blood test comes back clean. Oddly enough, the original victim’s blood samples are back to normal too. The whole town has just disappeared without a trace. Except Sarge and Duane. As they drive down the highway, Duane asks Sarge to pull over so he can make a call. Then he slits his throat!
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Another demon, another blood goblet mobile plan.
Duane the demon speaks to, presumably, the Yellow-Eyed demon, saying Sam is immune as expected.
Brotherly Angst Quotient: Cliffhanger
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In the clinic, Sam tries to convince Dean to save himself, but Dean says he doesn’t want to. He’s tired of the job, life, the weight on his shoulders. But when Sam protests that’s just grief over Papa, Dean says it isn’t.
Later, after they’ve blown, Sam tries to continue their conversation. When pressed, Dean switches course, saying they should go to the Grand Canyon or Hollywood. He wants to live life a little. Also? He wants to try to bang Lindsey Lohan.
Sam says that Dean takes too much on himself, and he should let him share the load. Dean says he can’t. He promised Papa. Promised him what, we all ask! TO BE CONTINUED.
Yellow-Eyed Demon: Talking on the bloody phone, innit!
How Drunk Are We?: Happily. Three drinks for badge flashes, emotional avoidance, and rifle damage to the Glorious and Faithful Impala.
The Quotable Winchesters: “That’s not school, that’s Schoolhouse Rock!” –Sam shocked at Dean’s miniscule knowledge of history.
Moment Most Likely to Inspire Troubling Fan-Fic:
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Both Dean and Sarge have guns trained on each other and keep it that way for the entire ride. This is the kind of tension that just cries out for fic.
Notable Cameos:
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Diego Klattenhoff of Pacific Rim, Homeland, and The Blacklist plays Duane.
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Nolan Gerard Funk of Awkward and Glee plays Duane’s creepy little brother.
2x10: Hunted
Monster of the Week: Gordon
A man visits a psychiatrist, complaining of headaches and the sudden ability to electrocute things through touch. Just when I’m starting to think a shrink isn’t the type of doctor he needs, he confesses to frying his neighbor’s cat. He didn’t want to kill, but the Yellow Eyed Man who comes in his dreams, told him to. But the neighborhood pets can relax. On the way to his car, an unseen foe shanks the man in an alley.
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May you be haunted by vengeful, furry spirits, Mr. Sparky Hands.
Sam, upset by his conversation with Dean regarding Papa’s last words, runs away to Harville’s. He asks Ash to research yellow-eyed babies, and he comes up with four names: Sam, the two psychics he’s already encountered, and last, the now-deceased Mr. Sparky Hands. While Sam heads off to investigate the last, Dean calls and gets the scoop from Ellen as to where he’s headed.
Meanwhile, another yellow-eyed baby, Ava, has a psychic vision of Sam entering an abandoned house, setting off a grenade trip wire and being blown to bits. When Sam gets to Mr. Sparky Hands’ town, she tracks him to his motel to warn him. She’s not interested in getting involved in his hunter craziness though; she’s got a life to lead and a wedding to plan. Priorities! But Sam uses the power of his puppy dog eyes, convincing her to help him break into the therapist’s office to steal Mr. Sparky Hands’ files.
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So tall, yet so sad. Girl didn’t stand a chance.
Back at the hotel, they listen to his session while Dean pulls up in the parking lot. Before he can confront his wayward brother, everyone’s least favorite hunter, Gordon appears on the scene (boo, hiss) and begins taking shots at Ava and Sam with a sniper rifle. Dean finds him and beats on him, but Gordon emerges the victor, kidnapping Dean, tying him up (again), and making him lure Sam to the hideout. But what Gordon doesn’t know is the brothers have a special code word that means trouble!
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Let’s talk about subtlety, guys.
Actually, Gordon does know about the code word. Or at least, after hearing “funky town” uttered in everyday conversation, he figures it out. He’s counting on Sam sneaking around the old abandoned house and coming in through the back, where he’s placed two trip wires.
But, forewarned by Ava’s vision, Sam neatly sidesteps the trip wires and gets the drop on Gordon.
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How’d you like them apples, Gordo?
But, Sam being Sam and therefore terrible at fisticuffs, almost immediately loses the upper hand. If Gordon didn’t lose himself in a villain monologue, he probably would have won. But he does and Sam spies his opportunity to strike, knocking him unconscious with the butt of a shot gun.
Dean wants to kill Gordon. But Sam just rushes him out of the house, saying it’s taken care of. A moment later Gordon comes after them, guns blazing only to run right into the police. Turns out he was the one who shanked Mr. Sparky Hands in the opening. After the cops see Gordon’s car-senal? I’m guessing he’s not going to be a problem for the Winchesters for a long time.
When Ava doesn’t answer her phone, Sam and Dean drive to her house to tell her everything went well. They don’t find her. They do find her fiancé.
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I guess the wedding’s off? (sorry)
Her engagement ring has been carefully placed on the floor. What does it mean? We’ll have to wait to find out.
Brotherly Angst Quotient: High
Papa Winchester’s last words to Dean? Watch out for Sam. Take care of him. Save him if you can, and if you can’t? Kill him.
Sam is devastated. Dean says it’s all he thinks about, and he’s tired of it. He just wants to lay low, and try to live normally for awhile while he tries to figure out what exactly is going on with his brother.
Yellow-Eyed Demon: Gordon tells Dean that he’s hunting Sam, not for revenge because of how things went down with the vegetarian vampires from “Bloodlust,” but because he’s a monster. A demon he caught told him about a coming war, where the yellow-eyed babies sided with the demons against humans. Given Ava’s sudden disappearance, I’m guess the demon’s getting ready to reap his psychic children.
How Drunk Are We?: Nimbly. Take two drinks for as many locks picked.
The Quotable Winchesters: “Am I okay? I just helped you to steal some dead guy’s confidential psych files. I’m awesome!” -Ava
Moment Most Likely to Inspire Troubling Fan-Fic:
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A picture worth a thousand fics.
Notable Cameos:
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Katharine Isabelle of Gingersnaps (my favorite horror movie ever, rent it right now), Being Human and Hannibal plays Ava.
Next week: Sam gets drunk.