Previously on The Originals: Klaus’ old friend (and the first of his sire line) Lucien, may or may not be the creepy murderer that Cami is freaked out about. Lucien maintains their ancient foe,Tristan, is the real threat. Tristan’s crazy sister Aurora is headed to New Orleans to join in the fun.
Were you wondering what invented holiday was being celebrated in fictional New Orleans this week? Let's sacrifice a goat and find out!
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
In another wig-tastic flashback, Klaus and Aurora had a tortured love affair, but he had to leave because vampire probs. While he and Elijah try to follow her present day scavenger hunt, Klaus tracks her down and slings typical rude ex insults. She tells him she’s not there for him, but to protect her sire.
Cami and Vincent talk macabre New Orleans traditions, and serial killers, while stalking Lucien through the Quarter. Of course, he notices and isolates Cami for answers. He ends up leading her to a dying victim of the slasher. Detective Kinney is suspicious, per usual. He digs around until he finds where she keeps her creepy legacy stash from her crazy priest brother, and arrests her for murder.
Davina enlists Hayley and Jackson as her bodyguards for some witch event. She needs to them, since the ninth ward witches think she’s responsible for the massacre there, which she is. Hayley and Jackson agree to help, because if Davina dies, they’re howling at the moon again. Davina is disappointed by her offerings, until Hayley gives her a pep talk about not needing to wear old lady scarves to be taken seriously.
Holy Fang
- REBEKAH IS AURORA’S SIRE.
- Hayley & Davina FOREVER.
- Elijah compelled Aurora to tell Klaus’ secrets and break his heart! YIKES.
- And then Klaus and Elijah beat the hell out of each other!
Winners and Losers
Winner: Hayley. She showed some kindness and gave Davina good life advice, and in turn the teen witch decided she'd rather have Hayley as a friend than a slave. The werewolf curse is broken and Hayley's got herself a witchy new bestie.
Loser: Cami. Girl is really bad at solving murder cases, to the point that all her bumbling sleuthing and sketchy collectables got her arrested by Hot Detective, who's convinced that she's the most likely slasher suspect.
Original Snark
“So, my first sire wants to kill you, your's wants to kill me. Makes you regret turning any vampires in the first place.” This is what’s known as an epic MY BAD, Klaus.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that this is lacking in poetry.” Elijah is such a super scary romantic.
“Actually, he said he would erase me. I mean, who even talks like that?” Uh, take your pick of anyone you know, Davina.
“I’ll keep you alive. But if you wear that awful orange scarf, you’ll wish I hadn’t.” I need Hayley's fashion advice in my daily life.
“Everyone likes a charismatic killer.” Cami acts all offended, but I’m like STORY OF MY LIFE, VINCENT.
“Just once, I’d like to get a gift card.” And here, I’d prefer a goat. Life is rough, Davina.
“You had quite a night, O’Connell.” My kryptonite is couples who call each other by their last names.
“Hey Vincent, you wanna check out my collection of black magic knick-knacks?” Uh, it’s New Orleans, who wouldn’t want to see that shit, Cami?
Haunting Questions
- How did vampires hang out in the sun before daylight rings? Or were the Mikaelsons just special?
- The story of The Axeman and his letter is true, however, he doesn’t yet have his own jazz fest. What up, New Orleans?
- Where was my girl, Freya? Is it just me, or is this cast getting a little too crowded? I wouldn't mind focusing on some core characters, instead of adding a half dozen more.
Next: Freya tries to get to the bottom of the WTF of her brothers.