Welcome back to the Supernatural rewatch, darlings. This week brings us both the first appearance of everyone’s (or at least my) favorite angel, Balthazar, a Bobby-centric episode, and a shirtless, exercising Sam.
Cheers to second Christmas!
THE OFFICIAL FYA SUPERNATURAL DRINKING GAME:
Take a drink every time:
• There’s a corpse
• A demon possesses/de-possesses and/or makes a deal with some hapless schmuck
• Someone on the show takes a drink
• Dean crams his face full of junk food
• Anyone is tied up
• Either brother picks a lock
• Someone employs a Titan of Classic Rock as an alias
• The Glorious and Faithful Impala is damaged in the line of duty
6x3: The Third Man
Monster of the Week: Angels
A couple of police officers in a small Pennsylvania town are succumbing to mysterious and disgusting (think: peeling skin, boils) ailments! The Winchesters interview a third cop who says he and the dead deserve what they got after what they did: shooting an unarmed kid and then planting a gun on him to cover up their crime. Right after he confesses, a swarm of locusts chew their way out through his brain, and I have to go hide under a blanket briefly.
The boys notice the deaths all have an Egyptian Plague theme and decide to bring the big guns in on this. Cas! He responds to Dean’s prayers after ignoring Sam’s for months which sets off our gigantic hero’s pissy-face, big time. Cas says the devastation was caused by the Staff of Moses. Aaron, the little brother of the framed dead kid has a chunk of the Staff, given to him by the angel Balthazar in exchange for his immortal soul!
They all track Balthazar to his disco sex mansion (is it any surprise Balthazar is my favorite angel?). Cas tries to guilt trip him into giving back the weapons of Heaven. It doesn’t work and Balthazar appears to ditch him when a very angry Raphael shows up. But when Cas is peril, he pops back in and turns Raphael’s vessel into a pillar of salt á la Lot’s wife. The Winchesters take advantage of Balthazar’s pity and trap him in holy fire until he agrees to return Aaron’s soul. They plan to double cross him and leave him there, but Cas releases him in a show of angel solidarity.
Heaven and Hell of it All: Cas doesn’t know what brought Sam back from Hell and that’s why he’s been avoiding him like (wait for it) the plague. He also says it’s been chaos in Heaven since the almost-apocalypse. Now there’s Civil War. Raphael and his followers want to rule Heaven and Cas and others have been trying to stop him.
Cas has to perform an excruciating ritual on Aaron to get information, and Sam has absolutely no problem with it, further hinting that he came back from Hell wrong. When Dean confronts him about it, Sam says while being in Hell might have tortured Dean, he feels genuinely okay about it. Dean, of course, takes this as an insult to his manhood.
Drink Count: 6 for corpses and beer swigs.
The Quotable Winchesters: “I think we can rule out Moses as a suspect.” –Cas.
Most GIF-able moment:
That moment when Sam was so hot, the hooker forgot to charge. It doesn’t really work like that show, but we appreciate the eye-candy nonetheless.
Notable Cameos:
Sebastian Roche of The Originals, The Vampire Diaries, Fringe and a host of other sci-fi/fantasy projects plays Balthazar.
6x4: Weekend at Bobby’s
Monster of the Week: Crowley
Flashback! A year ago, Bobby summoned Crowley to get his soul back. But, being evil and all, Crowley reneged on the deal they had, saying he’d give our favorite coot ten years before he’d send the hellhounds after him.
In the present, Bobby’s trying to torture Crowley’s real name out of a demon, doing research for unappreciative Winchesters, answering a host of phone calls for hunters all over the country, and fending off a thirsty neighbor who comes bearing peach cobbler. Then Rufus shows up, demanding he help bury an Okami’s body, followed closely by the FBI looking for Rufus, and before he’s even got that sorted, the Okami rises from its grave. Jeez, no wonder Bobby always looks so tired.
He realizes the Okami is after his cobbler-bearing neighbor and shreds the thing in her wood chipper, covering her in a stream of blood. It hardly needs to be said that she rescinds her earlier dinner invitation. But while Rufus left in him the lurch with the monster, he comes through in another way, finding the location of a ring connected to Crowley’s human life. They use the ring to raise the ghost of Crowley’s son, Gavin, which Crowley assumes Bobby plans to use as a bargaining chip for his soul. Being evil and all, Crowley hates his son and tells Bobby to go screw. But, being wicked smart and all, that was never Bobby’s plan. Gavin told Bobby Crowley’s history. He was a tailor who sold his soul for a bigger…um…. needle. He also told him where Crowley was buried, and Dean and Sam are at his Scottish grave that very moment, ready to torch his bones. It works! Crowley folds and Bobby’s all re-ensouled and stuff.
Heaven and Hell of it All: Crowley’s been promoted to King of Hell!
Dean calls Bobby to talk about what might be wrong with Sam, and is highly offended when Bobby puts him on hold to prioritize his own concerns. He actually tells him to stop being selfish and Bobby snaps, reading them both the riot act, because he is awesome.
Drink Count: 9, for corpses, drinks, a cheeseburger, and Rufus’s amazing alias, "Luther Vandross."
The Quotable Winchesters: “Sam, Dean, I love you like my own, I do. But sometimes you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met…I know you've got issues. God knows I know. But I got a news flash for you: You ain’t the center of the universe. Now it may have slipped your mind that Crowley owns my soul and the meter is running, and I will be damned if I’m going to sit around and be damned! So how about you two sack up and help me for once?” –Bobby, fully deserving of the “YAAASS QUEEN” I shouted at the screen.
Most GIF-able moment:
It may have been Bobby’s episode, but the boys’ battle with an offscreen lamia wins hands-down.
Notable Cameos:
Jennifer Aspen of Party of Five and Glee plays Bobby’s thirsty neighbor
Next Week: The boys go hard. Twihard, that is.