PREVIOUSLY ON THE X-FILES
Last week, Mulder and Scully solved a murder case in which a man who could change from lizard to human and back again was terrorizing a small town. It was delightful and you can read the whole recap here. Fifteen years ago previously, Scully and Mulder had a son named William by some sort of immaculate conception (or possibly just good old fashioned doing it - we're not sure) that they gave up for adoption to protect from evil forces both in and out of this world. Scully, having always wanted to be a mother, has been haunted by this ever since.
THIS WEEK'S CASE FILE
(Ouch, That's) Cold Open
Some jerk named Cutler is spraying an alley full of homeless people with fire hoses, telling them they've got to relocate to Franklin Hospital Or Else. As he disappears upstairs to his office, a garbage truck pulls up and the homeless people all dive into their tents. The truck stops, then pulls away, leaving a big scary looking dude in its wake. Upstairs, Cutler's on the phone when the lights go out. He barely has time to dial 9-1-1 when the Band-Aid Nose Man bursts into his office and literally rips his arms off. Flies swarm as Band-Aid Nose Man throws Cutler's arms into his garbage truck, then hops in and gets cozy in the trash bags.
Okay sure, we're listening.
Mulder and Scully: On the Scene
Our heroes are inspecting this gory crime scene when Scully gets a call from her brother William. Her mother, Margaret, has had a heart attack and is in the ICU in D.C. She immediately leaves to go be with her mother, and Mulder stays behing to solve the case. He notices some Banksy-style graffiti on a billboard overlooking Cutler's office (the graffiti is of the Band Aid Nose Man, but Mulder doesn't know this of course) but when he checks security footage, he realizes the art wasn't there at the time of the murder, so it must be the killer's signature. As he leaves to see what he can find out about that billboard, he steps on a disgusting, gooey Band-Aid.
Outside, he's distracted from his billboard errand when he approaches two people arguing: Daryl Landry, Cutler's business partner, and Nancy Huff, president of the nearby school board. Landry wants to move the homeless to Franklin Hospital so he can build a fancy apartment complex here, and Huff doesn't want them at the hospital because it's two blocks from her school. So who speaks for the homeless in this situation? "The Band-Aid Nose Man speaks for us," says a strange man nearby. He gestures up to the billboard, but the art has been cut away. Since the Band-Aid must have come from this guy, Mulder takes it to his lab guy and learns there are no pathogenic agents on it. There's something gross and gooey, but it's not alive or dead. While Mulder follows this gooey trail, we see that it was actually two hipster art dudes who stole the street art.
Band-Aid Nose Man angry! Band-Aid Nose Man not get modern art!
As they brag about how the homeless are gonna make them that sweet money, the Band-Aid Nose Man steps out of the artwork and kills them both, ripping them to shreds and throwing them in his Garbage Truck of Doom and Body Parts.
I.C(are 4).U.
Meanwhile, Scully has hauled ass to D.C. to be with her mother. The nurse says Margaret regained consciousness for a minute, but she only asked about Charlie - Scully's estranged brother. As she watches her mother in the hospital bed, she has a flashback of Mulder, all young and hot, watching over her as she laid in a hospital bed after her abduction and saying "I'm here." A nurse appears and explains that Margaret changed her living will to DNR last year, mysteriously signed by two retired naval officers. Scully's dealing with the thought of turning her mother's machines off when her phone rings, and Mulder says, "I'm here." And HE IS THERE, FOR HER, AND OUR COLLECTIVE HEARTS CLENCH. Because this? This is the heart of this show. The showrunners might frustratingly deny us the makeouts we so dearly want, but they don't hesitate to show us, over and over again, how much Mulder and Scully love each other.
Mulder fills her in on the case, and Scully tells him about her mom. "She asked for Charlie," she says. "Why would she do that? And why would she change her will without telling me? Also what's this quarter? And why am I speaking like I have laryngitis?" Later, the elusive Charlie finally calls, so Scully puts him on speaker and when Margaret hears his voice, her eyes open. She looks at Mulder and says, "My son...is named William too." Then she dies. Scully slays our hearts as she cries into Mulder before needing an immediate distraction.
Proof of Scully's alien DNA
Parts and Crafts
School Board President Nancy Huff drives to her fancy house in her fancy SUV, listening to "Downtown" by Petula Clark. She's eating her fancy white lady yogurt when a garbage truck appears up the street. Band-Aid Nose Man's back and he's coming for you, lady! Nancy finds maggots and green goo on her immaculate staircase, and when lightning strikes, she sees the gooey guy at the top.
This is what you get for putting styrofoam in the recycle bin, Nancy.
He comes down the stairs and she gets one good hit in before he puts her in her own trash compactor - all to a rousing round of DOWNTOWN, THINGS WILL BE GREAT WHEN YOU'RE DOWNTOWN, EVERYTHING'S WAITING FOR YOUUUU.
After finding some spray paint bits on the Band-Aid, Scully and Mulder are able to track a guy to an abandoned warehouse, where Scully legit roundhouse kicks this dude to the ground - in heels. He shows them to the basement and bails, because there's some scary stuff down there and also, conveniently, no power. You know what that means? Flashlights: on. Two seconds later a weird monster thing jumps out in front of them and it's scary and I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING NOR DO I HAVE DVR AND CAN'T REWIND FOR A BETTER LOOK.
They find an art studio where the street artist, Trashman, is hiding from his own literal demons. Apparently, Trashman was mad about the treatment of the homeless people and designed a monster, then somehow made it come to life. He welded a man into consciousness. OH-KAY. And even worse: this thing he created basically exists to act out the artist's most violent ideas. And if that's true...old Landry's time is almost up. Mulder and Scully hurry to find him with Trashman in tow. Over at the hospital, Landry has no idea the end is nigh. He's just going about his biz-nass, being a dick to homeless people when Band-Aid Nose Man appears, extra gooey this time. Scully and Mulder hear the screaming and hurry to find him - and find him they do - limbs all in a pile.
We end with Scully and Mulder sitting by a lake with Margaret's ashes. Scully realized her mom just wanted to know Charlie would be okay before she left. She knew Dana and William would, but she needed to know about Charlie. But she also wanted them to be responsible and make sure that wherever William is, that he's going to be okay. Scully cries, explaining to Mulder that he will find the answers to his biggest mysteries, and she'll be there when he does, but her mysteries - she'll never get an answer.
BIGGEST COVER UP
An artist can will his art to life?
WORST KEPT SECRET
An artist can will his art to life.
MONSTER OF THE WEEK
BAND-AID NOSE MAN. Let's just say this episode made me really thankful our garbage truck comes during the day, as opposed to, like, 4am. (Fun fact: His creator, Trashman, was played by Tim Armstrong, lead singer of Rancid.)
THIS WEEK'S TOP-RANKING AGENT
This episode was all about that Scully. Her mother was always the constant, steady force in her life - during years of being dragged through hell with Spooky Mulder, she could always turn to her mom to remind her that this world wasn't as awful as she sometimes started to believe. So the loss of Margaret is a big one - not just for Scully but for all of us. Gillian Anderson slayed our hearts through and through, and then managed to rebound in time to roundhouse kick a dude to the ground while wearing heels.
THIS WEEK'S LOSER-HUMAN HYBRID
Three way tie between Cutler, Landry and Huff. They treated people like trash and they ultimately became trash themselves.
FROM THE BUREAU SURVAILLANCE FILES
"Back in the day is now." - Mulder
"Her last words were about our child, her grandchild, that we gave away." - Scully
"There are spirits floating around us and if you think real hard, they come to you. And then they become alive with a life of their own." - Trashman
"I want to believe...I need to believe that we didn't treat him like trash." - Scully
BEST SCULLY EYE ROLL
Not so much an eyeroll as a sassy retort, but Scully was dealing with some heavy stuff this week.
UNSOLVED CASES
- What was the quarter from Margaret's necklace from? Why is it important?
- Who are these two military men who signed the change on Margaret's living will?
- Are we ever going to find out if William's okay? POOR SCULLY UGH.
- Did anyone else think the character of Nancy Huff actually looked straight out of a 90s episode of The X-Files? Like one of those bit-part hot chicks Mulder would've flirted with to piss off Scully?
- We've only got two episodes left, and while MOTW episodes > mythology episodes, I can't help but wonder where this mini-series is going. There's been no mention of the Tad O'Malley/Cigarette Smoking man conspiracy from the first episode. Is there time to wrap it all up?
Tell us what you thought in the comments! All GIFs via giphy.