HEY Y'ALL. Did anyone else have to turn up the A/C last night while watching Nashville? Cos HOT DAMN, things got JUICY. I could have really used a fan and an extra ice cube in my cocktail. (Hey ABC, here's a pro-tip: Start sending out "Red Lips, White Lies" fans as swag for your show. They'll make for a great promo piece, and your audience could really use them. YOU'RE WELCOME.)
Ok, let's get down to what happened in the episode, starting with the most boring stuff first.
- Teddy confirmed that Peeggghhhy was the one who leaked his divorce to the press, and then she accidentally told him about Daddy Lamar blackmailing her. So he kicked her to the curb. Oh god, I hope she doesn't try to commit suicide again.
- Daddy Lamar is back at home, and he's decided to replace Tandy with Rayna in the role of Favorite Daughter. It's actually pretty sweet to see Daddy Lamar and Rayna trying to heal their relationship, but Tandy won't go down without a fight, and she's decided to form an alliance with Coleman, who is pissed that Teddy is acting like such an impulsive asshole. (Teddy cancelled all of Daddy Lamar's city contracts.) Tandy suggests that Coleman dig up dirt on the Cumberland Deal, which I feel like everyone MUST already know about because we've been hearing about it since the first freaking episode of this show. I really hope Coleman investigates it, cos I'm tired of hearing about that shizz.
- Avery continues to eat humble pie as a roadie on Rayna and Juliette's tour, and he's actually becoming... kind of nice? DID I JUST WRITE THAT? I could blame Dante for making Avery look good, but I actually think the writers are trying to develop Avery's character. He even shares a nice moment with Scarlett, who is hanging out backstage (since she's now on Rayna's label) and totally rocking a white dress.
- Still weaving his spell of evil douchebaggery, Dante convinces Juliette to buy a house from his "realtor," Esme, who is actually his partner in crime. When Juliette's Mama tells Juliette that she saw Dante kissing Esme, Juliette doesn't believe her, and Dante plants drugs in Jolene's bag to make everyone think she's fallen off the wagon. But upon examining the pills, Juliete realizes that they're made of something Jolene is allergic to, and oh, SURPRISE SURPRISE, Dante has left the building... with all of the moneys. Really, it's a small price to pay to rid this show of such DISGUSTING DICKISHNESS. Juliette feels like an idiot (as she should), and vows to keep the new house as a reminder to herself to make like Mulder and Scully and trust no one. Honestly, Juliette, the correct lesson here is to never trust anyone... named Dante.
- Gunnar continues on his downward spiral by declining Scarlett's offer to re-audition for Rayna. Instead, he goes to a bar at 11:30am to watch Cowboy Will perform, i.e. eye-fuck a lot of ladies who apparently have luxurious lunch breaks. He decides, for reasons I cannot fathom, that he wants to be like Cowboy Will, so he goes to an open mic night and sings like a freaking tool. We're talking Scott Stapp levels of grossness. Apparently, there are still Creed fans out there, because a girl gives him her number AND a producer named Jack Nelson tells him he wants to lay down his demo. People. STOP ENCOURAGING HIM. Gunnar's head is spinning, but it practically falls off his body when Cowboy Will suddenly goes Brokeback Mountain on him. I'd like to say that this was a huge reveal but... it wasn't. I mean, hello:
- Ok, but NONE of that crap REALLY matters because HOLY SHIZZ RAYNA AND DEACON FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!! So, there was a thing with Liam O'Donaghue McGuinness of the Irish McGuinnesses asking her to go to the Carribean with him, and I was surprised to find their flirtation charming, but the whole purpose of this subplot was to make Deacon realize that he's still got Rayna in his blood, and then Dr. Hater totally called him on it, and I felt kind of bad for her but not really because listen, lady, YOU CANNOT STAND BETWEEN DEACON AND RAYNA. And then Deacon told Rayna that he still had feelings for her, and then she WALKED AWAY WITH LIAM, and I was about to break up with Rayna but THEN! OMG THEN! Rayna showed up at Deacon's door and told him that she loved him, and he got adorably mad, and then all of a sudden, they were wrapped up in each other's arms and kissing like mad and then there was SEXY BUSINESS HAPPENING and AMEN.
Best Rayna James Line:
Um, obviously, it was, "I love you," to Deacon. OBVIOUSLY.
Rayna vs Juliette:
Did you not just read what I wrote? OF COURSE RAYNA WON.
Best Scene:
At the risk of repeating myself: RAYNA AND DEACON KISSING LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
Best Sub-Plot:
I never thought I would say this, but god bless you, Liam O'Donaghue McGuinness of the Irish McGuinnesses, for showing up and reminding Deacon that he is still in love with Rayna.
WTF:
- Gunnar, seriously, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. I mean, you saw Avery at that bar! LOOK AT WHAT YOU COULD BECOME.
- So Juliette's just gonna let Dante get away with stealing because she's too embarrassed by being scammed? Honey, you don't have to alert the police. This is what high-priced lawyers are for. Or, at the very least, hire a g-d private investigator! If only Keith Mars was still in the business.
- WTF, Cowboy Will! First of all, Gunnar HAS A GIRLFRIEND. Second of all, has the "surprise!" approach EVER WORKED FOR YOU?
Burning Questions
- How long will we get to remain in this heavenly place of Rayna and Deacon togetherness?
- Will Avery actually become a GOOD PERSON? (If you watched the preview for next week, you might already know the answer to this.)
- Will Coleman dig up enough dirt on Teddy to make him disappear from this show entirely?
- How much longer do we have to put up with this Cowboy Will storyline?
- Can Juliette ever get back to that place where we sorta kinda like her?
Feel free to leave your rants/raves/OMG RAYNA AND DEACON freakouts in the comments, and let's convo!