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Nashville 1x21: I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive

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Nashville 1x21: I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive

So, after watching the season finale of Nashville, I think the universal question (besides "Why is Rayna wearing a sequined bustier?") is: Why didn't they just end it with last week's episode? Because last week's episode was SO GOOD! It was all of the crazy I've come to love about this show combined with some deeply compelling emotional moments.

It was a powerhouse of an episode, but then the writers forgot to throw on the brakes, which meant that the finale went completely OFF THE RAILS. Let's recap:

- Juliette is devastated by her mother's death. (And she *looks* devastated too. Good job, make-up crew!) She decides to perform at the CMAs anyway, but thankfully, her old manager Glen shows up (Glen!!!) and convinces her not to perform. Instead, she goes to visit Jolene in her coffin, and jeezy creezy this is sad. The next day, Glen shows up to give her the CMA award... and a hug. At the funeral, Rayna and Juliette share a poignant moment, and it's impressive to see how far their relationship has come since the first episode. In other news, there are only, like, five people at the funeral, including AVERY. And here I thought things couldn't get more depressing. But the clouds lift a little when Juliette receives a letter from her mama, who was only trying to protect her. With the memory of her mother atoned, Juliette decides to pay tribute to her by finally singing at the Bluebird. It's a great song, but too bad it's ruined by SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ENDING WAS THAT?

- Rayna tells the girls that she and Deacon are dating, which is just in time for Maddie to realize that Deacon is her dad! Poor thing, she shows up at his house and tearfully delivers the news, which causes Deacon to almost miss Rayna's CMA performance with Brad Paisley. (Is Brad Paisley, like, a thing? Really?) After the show, Deacon confronts Rayna, and she confirms the truth: Deacon is Maddie's father, but when Rayna was pregnant, Deacon was still way too messed up to be a dad, so Rayna and Teddy got married instead. That makes sense! JK it totally doesn't. Neither Maddie nor Deacon takes this news well. Maddie yells at her parents, and Deacon gets HAMMERED. (Wow, Deacon, way to be less mature than a teenager. Although I will admit that when you attacked Teddy, it was KIND of awesome.) So yeah, Deacon goes on a rager, attacking Teddy in front of city hall for "stealing" his life and then attacking Coleman when he shows up to try to help. Coleman is totally the hero of this episode, except for when he stupidly believes that Deacon is ready to get sober again. (Surprise, he's not!) Deacon shows up drunk at the Bluebird, and when he tries to drive home, Rayna takes the wheel instead. Then (while Juliette sings her song) they fight in the car, and obviously that means CAR ACCIDENT. This last scene went from ABC Drama to After School Special in 30 seconds. Like, seriously, I'm pretty sure that crash footage came from One Too Many. So it's a good thing that Rayna and Maddie had a v. touching scene together right before that, because the way this is going, Rayna will probably spend half of Season 2 in a coma!

- Scarlett is still (rightfully) upset with Gunnar, but does that really mean she has to have breakfast with Avery? I will admit, though, that their scene together was actually... nice? It was genuine, with no bullshizz, and it gave us a slightly better picture of Scarlett and Avery's better days. Gunnar has decided to come clean about his bad boy image (which mainly consists of combing his hair right) and is staying with Gay Cowboy Will (aka The Talented Mr Lukely), who is bedding lots of ladies in order to be The Next Big Thing In Country Music. Someone should hook this guy up with Marilyn the Cougar. Scarlett goes to see Avery perform, and he gets her to come on stage to sing a song with him. And I can't believe I'm saying this but SHUT THE FRONT DOOR THIS SONG IS AMAZING. Not in the least because it makes Scarlett sound like Karin Bergquist from Over the Rhine, who have one of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful songs of all time. Gunnar sees this all go down, so he does what any sane guy would do: he decides to propose to Scarlett. RECORD SCRATCH SAY WHAT. It doesn't help that he does this during the terrible after-school special montage, so we don't even get romantic tingles out of it.

- After threatening it for the entire season, the writers are finally allowing the U.S. Attorney's office to investigate the Cumberland Deal, which is awesome news because 1) I can't stand Teddy. 2) I'm sick of hearing about this g-d Cumberland Deal. Teddy meets with his lawyer, who tells him that Peeggghhhy will probably be the weak link. But when Teddy talks to Peeggghhhy, she claims that she didn't tell the U.S. Attorney's office anything. Because SHE'S PREGNANT. OF COURSE SHE IS. I already feel bad for that kid, not just because Peeggghhhy will be its mother, but also because it won't have any of Rayna's talent, so it won't be able to form a trio with Maddie and Daphne. Meanwhile, Daddy Lamar tries to demote Tandy, so she quits, which is highly convenient for the U.S. Attorney's office, because they want to interview her. Daddy Lamar, you're going DOWN.

Best Rayna James Line:

Just like last week, it's less about Rayna James zingers and more about Rayna James, Mother of the Year. (Besides that whole pesky "Deacon is my secret baby daddy" situation.) Whether she's telling the girls about dating Deacon or reminding Maddie just how much she loves her, Rayna is working that Tami Taylor magic.

Rayna vs Juliette: (Who won?)

Posh:

Well, I wouldnt say that Juliette is a real WINNER here BUT she definitely trumped Rayna in this episode. First of all, she didn't get into a ridiculously melodramatic car accident. Second of all, she got an amazing letter from her dead mother. Third and most important, she got to wear a gorgeous floral gown instead of a sequined bustier. Honestly, she wins by that fact alone.

Erin:

I am going to have to hand this week to Juliette. She just wants to know what love is! And she wants Jolene to show her! Her realization (freaking FINALLY) that Jolene was trying to save her was pretty darn great. And she finally got to sing at the Bluebird, so hopefully we never have to hear about that dream again! But, speaking of singing, can we not have Hayden Pantalones sing anymore? It makes my ears hurt. She never even moves her mouth!

Rayna, sad to say, lost this episode in a big way. I mean, she was AWESOME with Maddie but she spent the rest of it dealing with the fallout of drunk Deacon. AND singing a really terrible song with Brad Paisley! And being flirted with by Brad Paisley! And wearing a super-unfortunate bustier! Sorry, Ray.

Best Scene:

Posh:

When Juliette reads her mama's letter and TEARS. SO MANY TEARS. "You deserve to be clean. You deserve to be free." Oh Jolene, may you rest in peace.

(Ok, and second place goes to Deacon tackling Teddy because it was just so v. satisfying.)

Erin:

For sure, my favorite scene was when Rayna and Maddie made up. I love those two so much! WHY ISN'T CONNIE BRITTON MY MOM?? (Also, Lennon is a super good actress! Her little face when she started crying?? EEEE.)

Honorable Mention goes to the scene of Avery and Scarlett singing his song, because I really, really liked that song. Why don't the two singers with the actual careers have songs as nice as Gunnar, Scarlett and Avery do?

Best Sub-plot:

Posh:

Ok, writers, I will give pants where pants are due. You made Scarlett and Avery turn over a new leaf, and in spite of Avery's persistently heinous soul patch, I found that leaf to be extremely believable. I'm amazed that you pulled this off, and it will probably fall apart early in Season 2, but for now, well played.

Erin:

I'm not sure if Drunk!Deacon was more plot or sub-plot, but it was super eye-opening to see how quickly he can devolve into a mean, nasty drunk. We've heard snippets of it this season, and people have alluded to how bad he was, but for some reason I just assumed that he was sort of careless and rude. Not, you know, A VIOLENT A-HOLE. Any doubts I had about Rayna not telling him about Maddie 13 years ago are GONE. Jesus, I can't believe he managed to keep any friends or family around at all after that.

WTF:

Posh:

- I realized what this show is missing: a sassy gay friend. Because if Rayna had one, she would have NEVER gone out in that sequined bustier. Because seriously, Rayna, what, what, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

I know I've already ranted about that last sequence but honestly, WTF? How did that EVER seem like a good idea? I mean, was the director HIGH? Is everyone on this show taking crazy pills? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Erin:

- WTF, Gunnar, you have known Scarlett for A YEAR. You've barely even been dating for more than, like, three months!! WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF. Also? A proposal is not how you keep someone from hanging out with their ex. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

- WTF, show, who the hell directed your last five minutes, a 12 year old with a MacBook Pro? That was some of the sloppiest editing and most groan-inducing cheesiness I have ever seen on tv.

- WTF, Deacon, you are the WORST DRUNK EVER. Also, your response to being mad that you've been denied a chance to be a father is to . . . remind everyone exactly why they didn't think you could be one in the first place? ALSO YOU DO NOT HIT COLEMAN, WTF.

- WTF, Peeeggghhhyyyy and Teddy, HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF BIRTH CONTROL?

Burning Questions

Posh:

- Will Scarlett say yes?!

- Is anyone in a coma?!!

- Does one episode of Mean Drunk Deacon mean we'll have to deal with Sad Sack Deacon for an entire season?

- Given all of this drama and angst, will Maddie go into full on teenager mode in Season 2? That's going to give me a sad.

- Will Tandy really take Daddy Lamar down?

- Was it rude for Rayna to have such great hair at a funeral?

Erin:

- I know Rayna and Deacon can't die, cause, like, the show would implode, but ARE THEY GOING TO BE OKAY???

- Is Tandy going to turn State's Witness on Daddy Lamar?

- WILL SCARLETT SAY YES? Oh wait, actually, I remembered that I don't care.

- Now that Avery has been sort-of redeemed, does that mean Deacon is going to be the person we all have to hate? Because I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

So, Nashvillians, what's your verdict on the finale and season one as a whole? Are you planning to tune in when it returns in the fall? Predictions? Haterade? LET'S CONVO.


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