Warning: This post contains spoilers for both Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Like, duh.
So last week, I was lucky enough to get a seat at the Comic Con panel for Catching Fire. And when they rolled out the new trailer, I, along with the bajillion people around me, got really excited. But unlike everyone else, I wasn't stoked because I was about to get some inspiration for whatever inane question I wanted to ask Jennifer Lawrence. Nor was I looking for ideas for next year's Comic Con costume. (The answer will always be Effie). Nope, I got excited because HELLO, NEW SUBJECT FOR HIGHLY SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS.
After all, I'm a scientist, and I hunger (GET IT) for the truth. So slip on your lab coats and let's break this bad boy down.
First, we must examine our subject as a whole:
You may have observed that Lionsgate chose to include lots of footage from the first trailer, which I dissected here. Unlike Lionsgate, I don't believe in recycling material, so I omitted any scenes about which I have already joked. (Except Merch Alert. Constant vigilance, fellow scientists!) But there's plenty of new scenes to tackle, so into the lab we go!
There goes the neighborhood!
This train is PIMP. But where's the mahogany?
MERCH ALERT.
Ugh, that Mockingjay symbol is EVERYWHERE. It used to be cool and super underground but now, like, everyone knows about it. Next think you know, people will be making t-shirts with of it.
"My name's Peeta, and I like hauling flour, decorating cakes and long, romantic moonlit strolls with fifty cameras."
Is it just me, or did things get a little kinky all of a sudden?
"I like to watch."
Katniss, listen. I know it upsets you when President Snow threatens your family, but let me break it down for you. Prim dies anyway! And your mom hates you! So do us all a favor and just chillax in the Victor's Village while you can.
This is like some serious Olympics Opening Ceremony type shizz. Where's James Bond and the Queen?
EFFIE! Looking good, girl. (Even if you are wearing my 5th grade science fair project.)
This scene was better in the first movie.
Quick poll: Does anyone go to see The Hunger Games movies because of the CGI? Anyone? Anyone? Okay cool, I'm glad to know that all of this trailer time is satisfying such a huge audience.
Peeta! Well, at least your hair looks better.
"I think these games are gonna be different." In case you haven't read the books and were wondering why this movie seems just like the first one. Because it's not!
I mean, Caesar Flickerman's smile is WAY wider in this one.
And Cinna looks totally different! His eyeliner is MUCH heavier.
And Katniss' dress is bigger and whiter!
And the other tributes are-- wait, WTF. THAT'S how they introduce Finnick? Where's he from, District Gay Renaissance Fair? p.s. Dear Costume Department: Please lower that belt. We can't even see his Jesus muscle for crissakes!
SAY CHEESE!
And THIS is how they introduce Johanna? Sorry, Jena Malone, but that axe swinging isn't doing you any favors. Let's hope your elevator scene is more impressive.
Cinna: "NAILED IT!"
I like these outfits WAY better than those weird figure skating jumpsuits they wore in the first movie. Also, Peeta actually looks hot in this picture. I credit the flames.
FINALLY! A glimpse of the Quarter Quell arena!!!!!! It looks really... wet.
So, fellow scholars, hit me up with your academic theories. What did you scientifically appreciate? What sort of chemical reaction did this trailer incite in your brain? How are you processing the appearance of Finnick? Let's engage in an intellectual discussion in the comments!