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HEY Y'ALL. I have a scientific query for you. How is it possible to pack so much drama into such a boring episode? I feel like I just figured out how black holes work.
Anyhoo, let's see if we can get through this analysis without pulling a Rayna and falling into a coma. (Too soon?) To keep you awake, I'll end each sentence with an EXCLAMATORY word.
- Maddie is taking guitar lessons with Deacon. CUTE!
- Then Maddie and Deacon sang a song together and it was the BEST THING EVER.
- Charlie Wentworth wants to get serious with Juliette, but she realizes that he only brings out the worst in her. Just like DANTE!!!!
- So she breaks up with him, but not before jinxing it by basically saying, "Thank god no one found out!" Cue Layla Grant calling some gossip hotline and spilling the beans, because Juliette switched her set time with Will (and then stole her duet) and hurt her feelings. Bishes be CRAY.
- Zoe still hasn't told Scarlett that she's dating Gunnar because she is a TERRIBLE FRIEND.
- But then, surprise surprise, Scarlett catches them kissing. IDIOTS.
- Gay Cowboy Will gets DIZZRUNK!
- And nothing else really happened with him, although it's obvious he's going to slip up soon and COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
- Peggy and Teddy continue to be GROSS.
- Teddy accosts Deacon outside of Maddie's open mic show and then decides to remove him from the Nashville music festival because he is an ASSHOLE.
- Due to the fact that she turned her own father in to the feds, Tandy refuses to serve as a character witness for Daddy Lamar, who is pleading for house arrest. Rayna speaks for him instead, and the judge denies his request. Given the fabulous state of Rayna's hair, HOW COULD THAT JUDGE REFUSE HER?
Best Rayna James Line:
Eh, I didn't catch any good zingers in this episode. Like I said, ZZZZZ.
Rayna vs Juliette: (Who won?)
I guess Rayna technically won by being the better person, since she helped out Daddy Lamar and tried to stop Teddy from being an asshole. But Juliette's storyline was more interesting, because she got to make out with Charlie Wentworth and STILL respect herself by ultimately turning him down. That's some real growth, girl. And yet, she acted like a total brat towards Layla (which will obviously bite her in the ass), so yeah, I'll give this one to Rayna.
Best Scene:
Deacon and Maddie singing together because SO GOOD.
Best Sub-plot:
It was a tiny detail, really, but I loved it when Juliette called Avery. It hinted at a bigger development, but it also just affirmed that he's become a really good guy, and Juliette needs that in her life. Plus, I'm sick of Scarlett's doe-eyed shtick so if Avery leaves her, I might not hate him this time around.
WTF:
- Teddy. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I mean, I get why you're threatened by Deacon, because you should be, but you are still a GROWNASS MAN. And THE MAYOR. You need to lay off THE CRAZY PILLS.
- Rayna, WHAT IS THIS?
Image may be NSFW.
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Burning Questions:
- Will Maddie and Deacon's song be on Spotify today because I NEED IT.
- How is it possible for Lawyer Lady to be SO BORING and still be shacking up with Deacon?
- Why is Zoe the worst friend ever?
- The preview for next week touted that SOMEONE. WILL. DIE. Please, please, PLEASE let it be Teddy.
Okay, over to you, dear readers. Head to the comments section with your rants, raves and EXCLAMATORY WORDS.