BOOK REPORT for All the Wind in the World by Samantha Mabry

Cover Story: Pretty as a Picture
BFF Charm: Maybe
Swoonworthy Scale: 3
Talky Talk: Back to the Future
Bonus Factor: Traveling Show
Anti-Bonus Factor: Betrayal
Relationship Status: Attempting a Friendship

Cover Story: Pretty as a Picture

I don’t think this is a sky that could happen naturally in the real world, but it sure is pretty. I would Instagram that shizz SO fast.

The Deal:

Sarah Jacqueline Crow—Sarah Jac for short—and her “cousin” James Holt are jimadors, migrant farmers who farm the maguey (agave) fields that have taken over much of the southwestern United States. They work where they can find it, and keep their true relationship a secret from their fellow farmers to keep themselves safe. They have grand dreams of saving enough money to buy a small plot of land in the northeast, where they’ll work with horses and live happily ever after.

But when an accident causes them to go on the run, they find themselves at The Real Marvelous, a farm in Valentine, Texas, that’s long rumored to be cursed. Neither Sarah Jac nor James buy into the rumors, but when all their plans begin to go awry, they realize there might be something to them after all.

BFF Charm: Maybe

Sarah Jac’s a tough nut to crack. She’s had a rough life, and she’s been forced to make tough decisions. And to keep her heart safe, she’s closed it off to anyone but James, and even then the two have to pretend to be family to avoid abuse at the hands of others. I’d likely try to be her friend if we met up in the farmers’ camps, but I doubt she’d reciprocate the effort.

Swoonworthy Scale: 3

Sarah Jac and James found each other before their time as farmers, and immediately hit it off. However, I struggled to see any real chemistry between the two, especially because they spent much of the novel pretending to be related and therefore completely uninterested in each other in a romantic way. The few scenes in which they’re together are often hurried, and although they’re sometimes sweet, there’s little true swoon.

Talky Talk: Back to the Future

Going into All the WInd in the World, I thought it was going to be a historical fiction novel. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it’s actually set in a near future in which the Earth’s weather has changed for the worse. Practically the entire southwest has become near-barren desert in which few things grow, aside from maguey, a type of agave plant from which mescal and tequila can be made. The world is an even harsher place for those not born into wealth or power. Mabry doesn’t go into detail about what happened to cause the world to be this way, but it certainly is a neat spin on a story that would fit right in to the Dust Bowl era of history.

All the WInd in the World also features magical realism elements, but they took a backseat to Sarah Jac’s very real struggles, and it’s never quite clear if there was anything actually magical happening, or if it was all coincidence. There’s a spiritual undercurrent to the novel, however, even though the characters don’t believe in any of the mystical stuff.

Bonus Factor: Traveling Show

A caravan of performers visits the Real Marvelous at one point in the story, and although it’s a minor plot point that doesn’t have much to do with the main storyline, it was a fun diversion to both the characters and me as a reader. I love the idea of these sorts of outfits, and would love to see Mabry write a story about their adventures in this rough world.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Betrayal

Can’t say much about this because spoilers, but there is an act of betrayal in All the Wind in the World that both broke my heart and had me clenching my figurative fists in anger. There’s also another scene that could be seen as betrayal of a different sort, but is no less troubling.

Relationship Status: Attempting a Friendship

I don’t feel like I got super close to you, Book, but I’d like to try to be your friend. It might not be easy, but even the best of friendships take a little bit of work. I promise to keep your secrets and never rat you out.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Algonquin Young Readers, but got neither a private dance party with Tom Hiddleston nor money in exchange for this review. All the Wind in the World is available now.

Earlier this year, I learned that author Sarvenaz Tash had set her book, The Geek's Guide to Unrequited Love at a Comic Con. Not only that, but it was objectively a better book than my own con book. I immediately dispatched my thugs to smash her car windows and slash her tires. Upon being informed that as a New Yorker, Tash probably does not even own a car, I decided to conduct a Between Two Lockers interview instead.

Oh, such consequences. Tash later contacted me. She was interested in putting together a panel at New York Comic Con about geek culture and cons as portrayed in YA literature, and asked if I'd be interested in participating. I agreed, figuring it was doubtful anything would come of it.

But it did. Her panel was approved. Tash, myself, and three other amazing YA authors, Laurent Linn, Lily Anderson, and Danika Stone were going to be on the 'Geeky YA FTW' panel, moderated by booktuber Kristin Hackett.

Wow.

My ID. That's a terrible photo of me.

After convincing my employers to give me the two days off (It's completely different from the con I went to last weekend!), my wife Sandra and I were off to New York!

Thursday

Sandra refused to let me book one of those hotels where you share a room with strangers, so I was forced to sell a kidney to get a room in Manhattan. After checking in, we walked to the Javits Center to see this con in person.

Keep in mind, we'd only ever been to medium sized cons in St. Louis and Kansas City.

They cosplayed as the venue.

I have to admit that the size of this place was rather intimidating. This was probably the largest crowd I'd been in since I went to ALA in 2011.

They say over 180,000 people attended the con, and I believe it. After visiting Artists' Alley and autographing some of my books on the main floor, we took an early night, determined to make the most of the three remaining days.

Friday

After dropping Sandy off at the center, I left the con for a lunch appointment with my editor, Claudia Gabel. Claudia was the person who gave me my first book contract, as well as three others. She singlehandedly made my literary career, and it's no exaggeration to say that she's had more influence on my life than anyone outside of my family. And yet, after eleven years of working together, we'd never met in person.

The memory of our lovely lunch, however, was spoiled when I returned to the con to discover that my beloved wife of thirteen years had been unfaithful to me in my absence. While I was dining, Sandra attended the MAD Magazine panel without me.

'Oh, honey, I was in a room with Sam Viviano, John Ficarra, and Al Jaffee while you were gone.'

After being informed that a divorce would only hurt our daughter, I attempted to enjoy the rest of the day.

We stopped and listened to an interview with the non-Seth MacFarlane cast of The Orville.

See it before it's cancelled.

Then we hiked about ten city blocks to see the sneak preview of the newest season of Once Upon a Time (seriously, we got to see the whole episode), followed by an interview with Lana Parilla and series creators Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz.

After discussing whether we should drain Sophie's college fund to buy Hamilton tickets, we returned to our room.

Saturday

We spent most of the morning shopping on the massive show floor. The highlight of my day occurred when I unexpectedly ran into cartoonist Bill Plympton, who's always been an idol of mine.

He was really, really excited to meet me.

In case you're not familiar with his work, Plympton is a cartoonist and animator noted for his subtlety.

We then attended a panel on humor in dark literature, with M.T. Anderson, Libba Bray, Joe Hill, Danielle Vega, and Fred Van Lente.

Sandy, still miffed about an author's comments at the last con we attended, asked the panelists about their feelings on censorship in YA literature.

Tell her teen literature needs to be censored. I dare you.

Finally, we went to a sneak preview of the Psych movie, followed by a Q & A with the entire cast, minus Timothy Omundson, who is recovering from a stroke, and Dulé Hill, who is producing a musical based on the life of Nat King Cole.

The movie, incidently, looks hilarious.

We then went to see an off-Broadway play. After deciding Sophie would never forgive us if we saw something she wanted to see without her, we settled on The Play That Goes Wrong, which was quite funny.

Sunday

Well, this was the big day. Unfortunately, due to ticketing limitations, Sandy didn't get to attend this day. I went in alone and met my fellow panelists. It was somewhat daunting to be grouped with talent like this, but of course they were great people.

Sarvenaz Tash, Laurent Linn, Kristin Hackett, me, Lily Anderson. Danika Stone was still on her way.

Brian, was that you?

The panel, moderated by book blogger Kristin Hackett, was a lot of fun. Of course, all these people have had amazing experiences, both at cons and in real life.

Tash told us about how, on her honeymoon, she and her husband inadvertently wound up in Dusseldorf, at the largest Star Trek convention in Europe. She also let us in on the original ending to Geek's Guide, which I found fascinating (she was right to change it, though).

Linn, who once worked with Frank Oz, admitted he wants to know the backstory of that most mysterious of Muppets: Grover. I have to agree. That's a character with a lot of unplumbed depth. Linn also talked about a gay character in his book Draw the Line. Not a book about a gay kid, but a book about a kid who happens to be gay.

Stone discussed how fandom has become popular and is glad to move beyond the trope of the girl who is beautiful once she takes off her glasses.

Anderson discussed the need for more people of color in literature and promised we'd be seeing a lot more of that in her future books.

Me, I ranted about my con memories. At the request of an audience member, I did my impression of my favorite cartoon character.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have used the microphone.

And so ended the con. After bidding farewell to the other panelists (and finalizing our plans to start a detective agency), I rendezvoused with Sandy. We took a shuttle to the airport. After an hour in New York traffic, listening to a fellow passenger make fun of the driver's Puerto Rican accent, we arrived at LaGuardia where we were informed our flight was two hours late. We returned home at 2:00 AM on a day we had to work.

Con Pros

The Size:

I'd never seen anything like it. Twenty blocks from the center, you'd see people dressed like Sailor Moon, Mario, or zombies. Many of them were probably going to the con.

Diversity:

Cosplay:

There were also quite a few Pennywises.

Celebrities:

Mark Hamill, William Shatner, Jodie Foster, Daisy Ridley and Kevin Smith were just a few of the people on site.

Con Cons

Bureaucracy:

My first reaction on learning our panel had been approved was 'Sandy, we're going to New York Comic Con!' My second reaction was 'Sandy, I'm going to New York Comic Con.' As it turns out, tickets sell out within two hours of going on sale. I couldn't get a pass for my wife.

Fortunately, Kristin Hackett had already purchased her badge and was nice enough to sell it to Sandy (panelists get in free). I understand the need for this, with the size of the event, but the metal detectors, badge checks going in and out, and having to stand in line for a chance to stand in line later, made me miss the smaller cons.

Because Banks Have Locks:

Want to get an autograph or snap a selfie with a celebrity? Just get in that line. Sixty bucks for Jason Isaacs. Three hundred for Mark Hamill. And a lot of the events with bigger names, such as Rainbow Rowell, cost extra.

Plus a couple of chicken tenders, fries, onion rings, and a small soda: $20. Fortunately, the food carts outside were much more reasonable.

Crowds:

The huge surge of humanity kind of put the kibosh on the parties, gaming, and drinking you see at smaller cons. Plus it can be damn uncomfortable and a little scary. I literally lost my wife on Saturday.

We were shopping, and I looked up to realize she was no longer in my line of sight. I shrugged it off, knowing she'd text me if she needed me. Twenty minutes later, I came to a horrible realization: I had her phone. And her wallet. And her hotel key. I could wander this place for five hours and not find her.

Fortunately, we ran into each other after about an hour, but that was kind of frightening.

So that's life, the universe, and everything. Hopefully someone will invite me to a panel at San Diego Comic Con next year.

Hola, fellow Jane babies! One million and one crane-flying apologies for getting this premiere recap up so late. The move to the Friday late slot has really thrown me for a loop! Still, I will try to get these up over the weekend most weeks, because obviously now that there's a teen twentysomething werewolf* in Jane's life, we will have LOTS to discuss.

Speaking of teen wolves/first loves, this was me, literally, IRL, face muscles nearly sticking for holding the expression so long, this entire episode, from the moment Adam's Lady Latin Lover Narrator (vocally) appeared:

*not a real werewolf, in case you, like my dad, set your expectations on the wrong path after hearing Tyler Posey referred to this way

AWARDS

THIS WEEK'S MVP(arent)

Rogelio, with an assist from Xiomara, for managing to put his diva tendencies aside in order to make tentative piece with Darcy for the sake of their baby.

BEST TELENOVELA TWIST

I know it should be something about Rose, given the cliffhanger kicker scene of her killing some dude by strangling him the wrong way (Sin Rosetro doesn't need to follow anything so common as physics), but YAWNNNNNN until they make Rose do something on screen, in a prolonged way, ever at all, I just can't care that much? Also Anezka coming back HAD to happen, because how could any of us survive without Yael Grobglas getting to throw her gleeful all into that performance? So I'm going to go with…Matelio's recasting! To a kid actor who not only looks as little like S3 Matelio as S3 Matelio looked like OG Matelio, but who does NOT have the half-excuse of being aged up to explain away the change. Nope! Between XoRo's final wedding reception dance and Jane's ocean swim with Adam, Matelio managed to change faces AND grow a whole three inches at LEAST.

I love it.

BEST PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Tattoos!

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They went the opposite direction of Teen Wolf and actually ADDED tattoos to Tyler Posey's arms for this role. So great.

PREVIOUSLY ON JANE THE VIRGIN

Approximately one thousand years ago, Jane waas artificially inseminated by Dr. Luisa, who accidentally used her brother, Rafael's, last pre-cancer sperm to do so. Luisa was canned as a doctor, but not as a sister…until Rafael didn't loop her in on the bombshell discovery of his secret adoption, which makes him not a legitimate heir to the Marbella, which they owned, jointly, with his ex-wife/sneaky second baby mama/current girlfriend, Petra, whose own secret childhood secret turned out to be a twin, Anezka, who was left in a Czech orphanage to grow up feral and who briefly took over Petra's identity and who has now teamed up with Luisa to take Rafael and Petra down.

Wait—isn't this show about Jane? Right. So, Jane kept Rafael's baby (Mateo), then was stuck in a love triangle between him and her pre-baby fiancé, Detective Michael Cordero Jr., then she chose Michael, then they got married, then Michael had a heart attack after finishing his LSATs and died, there on the floor of the testing room, his glowing heart fading to nothing, breaking me into a million pieces every damn time they replay the scene. Then there was a three year time jump, baby Mateo got a new face and some toddler attitude, and now it is the future! And Jane is 28! And finally dating again! And maybe kind of in like with Rafael again! Also her parents, single mom Xiomara and telenovela diva Rogelio, finally got married. And Abuela Alba supported it. And then Jane, on her way to tell Rafael she has feelings again for him, was given a long-lost pre-wedding letter from Michael, and it turned out that it was her first love, Scott McCall Adam, who found it! Meanwhile, "Rafael" texted Petra to meet "him" "where they fell in love," only it was Anezka using Raf's phone, and she had a gun! And Luisa, back in the hotel, had Raf! And she was blackmailing him out of his share in the hotel!!!!!!

Also Mateo (AKA Matelio)(AKA Mr. Sweet Face) USED TO look like this:

But now he looks like THIS:

Thanks, favorite VoG narrator, for making that update as transparent as possible!

THIS WEEK

FLASHBACK(S)

SO MANY flashbacks this, the first week back!

First, flashback to Jane getting married to Michael, who wrote her a letter at their priest's suggestion, then hid it in the floorboard hole of their apartment, where it was found by the next tennant, Adam, who was contacted by the NEXT tennants when Jane came over in the hurricane before her parents wedding looking for it. And the letter was so beautiful, and it turned out Adam was HER Adam, her first-love Adam, and it turns out that for Jane and Adam, first love meant THEY ALMOST GOT MARRIED. When they were 18 & 19, respectively, when Adam got into a fancy NYC art school and Jane could only follow him and afford to live there if they lived together, which meant getting married—which, in a flashback-within-a-flashback, we see Baby!Jane falling in love with the idea of marriage via her telenovelas (hi, Harley!). Alba and Xiomara were NOT okay with this arrangement, but Jane strongarmed them into supporting her. Nevertheless, Adam backed out of the engagement, declaring them too young for it, and thus the engagement, and their relationship, was over.

Second (or third), flashback to Luisa and Anezka ending up in the same Uber of Shame to the airport, also in the hurricane before Xiomara and Rogelio's wedding, and the scheme they came up with the take vengeance on the siblings who so shunned/disappointed them: turns out, while Luisa's role was to blackmail Raf out of his Marbella shares (using his adoption secret as leverage), Anezka's role was to shoot Petra and stuff her in some storage locker. WHOA. Luisa has let Rose rub off on her a bit TOO much maybe???

BABE Adam???

Yes, Babe Adam! He of the long-lost-letter, of the surprise-lady-narrator, of the totally-separate-comic-book-epic—he's got a nickname, given in secret by a judgmental Alba and Xiomara, and Alba has not only seen him smiling that smile at Jane in the Marbella lobby, but she has raced right up to XIomara and Rogelio's would-be honeymoon suite to fill Xo in on the terrible news. (Not that she is interrupting much, as Rogelio is too distracted by Darcy's dad-shaming insta posts about her pregnancy to pay enough attention to Xo.)

As Alba and Xo race to get a telescope set up to spy on Jane and Adam's reunion, Jane and Adam go snag a spot on the beach to catch up. How did art school go? Good! Adam is now a professional comic book artist—or graphic novelist, if he is trying to impress us all, and he is, and we (and Jane) are. How's her 5-year teacher plan? Good, but diverted to being a writer! He likes pictures to tell stories, she likes words. He likes stars, she's googly woogly (Alba's words). And then they are skinny-dipping, and Alba and Xo are scandalized, and new Matelio thinks his mom is in danger, and he's off with a baby superhero cape to rescue her!

It's embarassing for everyone, but Jane is still all warm and fuzzy. Despite Alba's reservations—and the fact that Jane had been about to tell Raf about her resurgent feelings not hours before—Adam's prospects are looking pretty good.

Okay Okay Okay, I Get it, Adam is Complicated But Probably Great—Now, Is Petra OK????

Petra is okay!

via

The next day, after Jane *did* tell Rafael about her possible feelings, and he responded with a blank stare and then retreated for apparently twelve hours in the shower (he is living there now that Luisa kicked him out, apparently!), AND after Jane confronts Rafael with her desire to find a new school for Mateo, as Mateo's loose lips about "being poor" made the administrator's immediately leap to warning her that they would need notice about tuition changes for the following year ("the wait list is extremely long") and got Jane's non-rich feelings all het up, Jane gets a call from Petra, who has been pulled from the ocean by EMTs after struggling with Anezka over Anezka's gun. And despite what complex feelings Jane might have about Petra wrt Raf, her deep feelings are ones of family love and relief that Petra is okay; the shot of Raf AND Jane racing to hug Petra as she sits alone and shivering in the back of the ambulance, enough to warm even the coldest (Petra's) heart.

As Petra recounts it, Anezka used Raf's phone to lure her to the dock with shop talk (in reality, Anezka had "Raf" apologize and restate "his" love). In Jane's car, Petra asks to borrow her phone to check her messages, and as the car-assist bluetooth made clear to Petra, Jane, Raf, and all of us in the audience, one of those messages was from Raf, apologizing, and another was from Jane, telling Petra she had been right about Jane all along, that Jane DID still maybe have some feeli—

Jane cuts the phone off, declares she had spoken wrong, but Petra is no fool: she demands whether Jane truly is "100%" over Raf. "100% is such a big number," Jane hedges, but she has a date! With someone else! Tonight!! So that should be good enough for everyone involved.

No one involved thinks that is good enough.

Adam, Meanwhile…

Adam's narrator is very put out to have her hero sucked into Jane's story, especially when half of Jane's story is "a mean blonde woman walking through hallways with paperwork," and that is fair!! But also, here is what Adam is hilariously up to while Petra takes on Anezka's identity to try and figure out what Luisa's scheme is/get Raf back in on the Marbella:

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Sandwiches and coffee, and work on his art in his shared apartment. Lololol, oh, Adam…you have no idea what you are getting dragged into.

The Date

That night, Jane almost lets Rafael's puppy dog eyes and request to "talk" convince her to cancel her date with Adam, but she soldiers on and puts on a very Good Dress and makes it over to Adam's apartment to find that he has made her HER perfect grilled cheese sandwiches, and it is just so cute. Then they look at the stars together (he is really into astrology and probably also astronomy?), and then she spies a guitar and he picks it up and plays the only song he wrote that was ever good, which he wrote for her, which is…

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…her love theme! It is SO. GOOD. This show, yo. This show.

But then Jane gets distracted by second thoughts about Raf and can't focus on the date. In a move of honesty (#BestStorytelling), she tells Adam what's up, and he responds by reasonably saying she should take time to figure everything with Raf out and then get back to him. Best storytelling!

So Jane takes the bus back home, her mom texting good vibes all the way. At home, she finds a glass of wine on the table with a post-it saying "I'm in the shower." She downs the wine, uses it for liquid courage, and starts shedding clothes to join Raf in the shower and "figure" this whole thing out. Only, it isn't her feelings he wants to talk about! It's Mateo's school tuition, by which he means that he PAID Mateo's school tuition, using money from Mateo's trust fund, and now Jane is wriggling back into her clothes and is spitting mad that Rafael did that A) without consulting her and B) after she explicitly made clear she wanted Mateo away from that school and that money-focused mentality. Which Raf takes as a dig at his own person, which Jane lets him, and while I think this is a very good fight for them to be having, I also had to work to remember that for the last half of last season, Raf was painted very clearly as Jane's best friend, and this premiere puts them on totally different footing. But I guess Raf HAS just had his whol life and livelihood turned upside down, plus Petra almost died, so he is bound to be looking at things through a fog of emotion more than he would normally.

So they fight, and Raf goes back to Petra, and Jane goes to Adam. And the drama of Season 4 finds solid ground.

About Petra…

Well, she HAD been pulling off her Anezka act, and had convinced Luisa that she had found a buyer for the Marbella that, while offering under Luisa's asking price, was willing to pay cash (the buyer is her and Rafael, using the three kids' trust funds; the cash is to trigger some offshore escape account to get Rose out of prison)…but then Anezka showed up, a little worse for wear, but with the Anezka tattoo off her forehead, and ready to out Petra as the liar she is.

Meanwhile, off in prison, Rose is being visited by a big bald man who says "he" will "never know anything" and then Rose says "you're right" and then she throws her handcufs around the BACK of his neck and, like, massages his neck muscles aggressively for a minute or so, and then he dies, and the prison wardens come take her away.

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Literally no one can die like this?

Crime lords gonna crime, I guess!

NEXT TIME

Jane and Adam get to getting re-acquainted…

<-- Jane the Virgin 3x22: Chapter Sixty-Four

Jane the Virgin 4x02: Chapter Sixty-Six -->

Title: The Craft 
Year: 1996
Fix: drama, horror, witches, teen movies, the ‘90’s, Halloween
Platforms: Netflix

Netflix Summary:

At a Catholic school, a new girls falls in with a clique of teen witches who wield their powers against anyone who crosses them, even their parents.

FYA Summary:

Three aspiring teen witches initiate new girl Sarah as their eagerly awaited fourth member. You know, you gotta have four for a proper circle. They dabble in schoolgirl games, healing and casting glamors, but eventually move on to some scarier shizz. When Sarah decides things have gone too far, she finds the girls aren’t willing to let her go that easily.

There’s something appealing about the witchy bond the girls create, and it's kind of empowering to watch them pursue the justice due them. 

Familiar Faces:

Robin Tunney as Sarah

Sarah grew up without her mom, and with being the new girl in school, it’s hard not to sympathize with her. Just try to ignore the wig, it’s not Robin’s fault. She was very in the Empire Records moment.

Fairuza Balk as Nancy

All hail the enduring crazy-eyed scariness of Fairuza Balk’s Nancy.

Neve Campbell as Bonnie 

Peak Party of Five Neve, before she was a Scream queen. She was particularly great at conveying vulnerability.

Rachel True as Rochelle

Rochelle may be the most sympathetic member of the coven, although I don’t know if that’s exactly true for any of them.

Skeet Ulrich as Chris

I know he was super hot, but I always thought he was a super creep. And that was before he played a murderer.

Christine Taylor as Laura

Christine plays a more despicable character than Marcia Brady, if you can believe that. It’s hard not to root for the witches on this one.

Breckin Meyer as Mitt 

Did a ‘90’s teen movie exist without Breckin in the background?

Couch-Sharing Capability: Gather Your Coven

Light some candles and bust out the ouija board, because it’s slumber party time! Enjoy some serious nostalgia for the fashion and hair and hair of the decade, particularly of the goth variety. Man, we loved us some ugly shoes and superfluous hair accessories. It was a very frumpy time. There’s also some delightfully '90's music, including, hilariously, the Charmed theme song.

Warning: This ain’t some fluffy rom-com. The guys in this movie are uber douchebros. And there’s some despicable behavior that not everyone will consider entertaining. Also: snakes.

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Witchy Brew

Time to check pinterest for some autumnal cocktails to usher in the best season of the year! Or, you know, just shove a cinnamon stick in some bourbon, and call it good.

Use of Your Netflix Subscription: Spooky

There’s an unrelenting strain of creepiness running through this movie. If you’re like me, your October could use some seasonal escape, possibly of the variety where some horrible people get what’s coming to them. The Craft has something for everyone: some house porn, that emo teen vibe, levitation, some seriously regrettable accessories, an unhinged murderer, a badass face-off, and a little sweet revenge.

Previously, on Riverdale: Fred Andrews nearly bleeds to death, Veronica learns how to be a supportive girlfriend with some guidance from Betty and a smidge of shower sex, Betty’s concerned about Jughead’s growing Serpent affiliation, Cheryl is AMAZING and TERRIFYING and Hiram Lodge has arrived. Oh yeah, and Miss Grundy’s dead! (Good.)

The Rundown

Apparently having Luke Perry bleed out on your floor isn't great for business, so Pop Tate's Chock'lit Shoppe is in danger. Also in danger? FP Jones, who's facing 20 years if he takes a deal. Thankfully for everyone in Riverdale, Betty Cooper is "The Patron Saint of Lost Causes," and she fixes both in one fell swoop. But she's got another problem to fix, since a new designer drug called Jingle Jangle is sweeping the school, and the hooded man isn't done shooting folks. 

The Teens

Poor Archie is traumatized by the gallons of dad blood he had on him last week, though his PTSD has certainly not affected his abs in any meaningful way. 

Veronica recommends therapy, which isn't a bad idea, but instead Archie decides to go to Dilton Doiley for a handgun. Sure, that'll help. 

Meanwhile, Veronica's learning how to trust her dad again (don't!), and Bughead remains as cute as ever, especially after Betty's meddling saves FP's hide. 

OF COURSE WE’RE CRYING! #JugheadJones #FPJones pic.twitter.com/ukeNU3Wnjg

— Riverdale (@CW_Riverdale) October 19, 2017

Finally, watching Betty threaten Cheryl (especially after recalling their reversed dynamic from the pilot) is my new everything. 

Remind us to never have sleepovers at #BettyCooper’s house. pic.twitter.com/criISqb3nc

— Riverdale (@CW_Riverdale) October 19, 2017

The Grownups

Guys, Hiram and Hermione Lodge are CREEPY. Hermione takes the fall for the threatening letter Hiram sent Veronica last year, and Hiram thanks her by secretly buying Pop Tate's and buying his silence, to boot. Ugh, I hate them! And meanwhile, Alice Cooper is on the Jingle Jangle case. 

Getting those receipts #Riverdale pic.twitter.com/GcjOVQGMBv

— Madelaine Petsch (@madelainepetsch) October 19, 2017

The Clues

The hooded man is apparently not Miss Grundy's estranged husband, but good guess, Archiekins. Jingle Jangle is going to be a big plot-driver this season. And Hiram is almost definitely our Big Bad. 

At The Chock'lit Shoppe/Outfit MVP

Cheryl's a temporary Pussycat! 

For real, this should be Pop’s theme song. #Riverdale pic.twitter.com/EvNLiTlumr

— Riverdale (@CW_Riverdale) October 19, 2017

A Fine Line

"You're a stone-cold bitch, Betty Cooper." Although I don't generally approve of the word "bitch," the way Cheryl delivers it with utmost admiration warms my heart. That's the highest praise possible from the queen bee. 

What's Coming

Burning Questions

Who wants to kill Fred Andrews, Miss Grundy, Moose and Midge? What kind of sense does that make? At first it seemed that Archie was the connection, but he doesn't have much to do with Moose and Midge. 

Also, where can I get one of those Pop's ringer tees? No, seriously, I'm asking. 

So hit me up in the comments with your answers to the above questions and any relevant Bughead gifs you can get your hands on.

BOOK REPORT for Before the Devil Breaks You (The Diviners #3) by Libba Bray

Cover Story: Another Day, Another Design
BFF Charm: Make It Rain
Swoonworthy Scale: 9
Talky Talk: If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids
Bonus Factors: Parallel History, Diversity
Factor: Trigger Warning
Relationship Status: Hail to the Chief

Cover Story: Another Day, Another Design

Talk to me, cover designers and marketing team. Tell me why the third book in the series has another completely different cover theme. Are you going to do this for Book 4, too? Have you no mercy for those of us with an obsessive need for covers to match? (Yes, I saw that the other books have new covers, too…but my copy of Lair of Dreams is signed. *twitch* *twitch*)

As for this specific cover…well, I like it when it’s placed next to its new purple and lime green brethren (these are all the colors of my living room rug), but I don’t like like it. We’re not going steady—I might go to a movie with it in a group date, but if it starts fake-yawning to put its arm around me, I’m getting up for a bathroom break. The levitating girl is creepy; I like the font and the art-deco flourishes on the side…but altogether, it looks pretty generic. This story deserves better!

The Deal:

Warning: here there be spoilers for books 1 and 2 of the series! If you haven’t read The Diviners and Lair of Dreams, proceed with caution.

The newly-expanded gang is back together after everything that happened in Lair of Dreams, and things are…not going well. After they battled the creepy-AF sleeping sickness that nearly claimed Ling and Henry, they found out that there is a US Department of Paranormal Investigations which investigates the supernatural, and may rely on Diviners for help. Sam’s mother Miriam, likely a Diviner herself, is being held hostage. Meanwhile, Blind Bill is trying to steal Isaiah and Memphis’ powers, Jericho’s health serum is being held hostage by Jake Marlowe, the museum is probably going to have to close, Theta’s past is catching up with her, oh, and the King of Crows is still lurking out there.

Now, as if that weren’t enough, there is an influx of ghosts haunting an insane asylum (talk about low-hanging fruit, ghosts—way to target people who already won’t be believed!). The King of Crows is ramping up an army of angry spirits, ready to help him execute his Manifest Destiny of the Dead. The American public’s opinion of the Diviners is dropping in favor of some of that old-time religion. Meanwhile, anarchists aren’t above using violence to get things done where labor unions fail, and Mabel is caught up in the excitement. The American land of plenty is haunted by the misdeeds of its conquerors, and the King of Crows is out for blood. Is there any way the Diviners can ward him off and save the innocent? Is anyone innocent?

BFF Charm: Make It Rain

Everybody in the main cast gets a BFF charm this time around—even Evie, who is maturing at a breakneck pace for someone so initially self-absorbed. It takes a lot of skill to make so many characters with such different personalities both flawed and likeable. Libba does it with style. My jealousy of her talent wars with my delight in getting to live in this world and be (imaginary) besties with the crew.

Swoonworthy Scale: 9

HOLY HOTNESS. To put it bluntly, several of our favorite characters get laid in this installment, and not a moment too soon! (Always use protection, kids: against STIs and pregnancies, but also leering ghosts out to ruin your good time.) While it’s not graphic (don’t worry, teen librarians and buyers-of-books-for-teens), it is very clear that s-e-x is happening.  I thought it was handled well, although I’m pretty sure the temperature of the room shot up 10 degrees during each scene. (Yes, multiple scenes! Libba has given the people (or at least me) what they (I) want.)

Talky Talk: If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids

The writing in this installment is delicious, and builds upon the vast, sweeping American landscape imagery that Lair of Dreams set up. Lair of Dreams was all about innovation and expansion, whereas Before the Devil Breaks You focuses on the dark consequences that can have. At what cost comes this brand “new” land and inventions that will make some lives easier? Who is harmed, who is left behind, whose backs is it all built upon? Who is complicit?

It’s not all doom and gloom, of course, even when the circumstances are all doom and gloom. The cheeky 20s slang is still present, but it remains dialed back in favor of the characters’ gallows humor in these dark times. Let the writing speak for itself:

“Now, hold on a minute! As a matter of fact, I…I have a date. With a darling boy. From New Jersey,” she lied.

“Nothing darling comes from New Jersey,” Sam said.

Theta settled the ice bucket on the dresser and took out her flask. “Here. Ice. We’re making Poor Man’s Manhattans.”

“What’s that?” Evie said, putting out two glasses.

Theta smirked. “You whisper ‘vermouth’ over the glass, then fill the rest with whiskey.”

“Say, I like your Manhattans! But what’s the ice for, then?”

“For the headaches we’re gonna have later.”

After all, everybody had something about them that could be lovely on the one hand and annoying as hell on the other.

It’s good, you guys. My only complaint is that the beginning was a bit slow, because with an ensemble cast and the epic plots of the last two books, the set-up takes some time. Once things got rolling, however, it was unstoppable.

Bonus Factor: Parallel History

I don’t know if Libba Bray could have made it any more clear that history repeats itself, unless that was the title of the book. Plus, she throws in historical, cultural references, from the Founding Fathers to  radium dials to Nietzsche to eugenics, that make the world-building so much richer. (I love when YA authors do this—when I was an actual YA, I was so intrigued by and became obsessed with many topics mentioned in the books I read. I’m guessing there’s more than one mini-nerd out there today doing the same thing. They have so much material to work with here.) In a lesser author’s hands, it would be heavy-handed. In this book, it’s just good.

Bonus Factor: Diversity

The racial, ethnic, sexual, and socioeconomic diversity remains one of the defining characteristics of the series. Yeah, it has a ghost serial killer, but the cast taps into the very best of the rich multicultural history in NYC. Nothing like supernatural abilities and a creepy-ass ghost gunning for supreme power to bring disparate parts of society together!

Factor: Trigger Warning

Be advised that both sexual assault and domestic violence are present in this installment.

Relationship Status: Hail to the Chief

Libba, this book reads like a social justice manifesto and a love letter to American history with some ghosts and pretty dresses thrown in, and I freaking love it. I’m not sure how you manage to make your message so clear while also keeping up with the thrills and chills, but I pledge my allegiance to your vision of America. You’re the president of my bookshelf—and ghost-loving, history-nerd heart.

No pressure, but is it time for Book 4 yet?

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a free review copy from Little, Brown. I received neither money nor a pet unicorn for writing this review, despite how hard I wished for one. Before the Devil Breaks You is available now.

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! (I'm sorry/you're welcome.) To the links!

Book Related Things

A recap of New York Comic Con's Geeky YA FTW panel, featuring FYA's very own resident dude, Brian! (ICYMI, Brian wrote about his NYCC experience, too.)

Ellen Oh's upcoming anthology based on Asian myths and legends gets a cover and a title: A Thousand Beginnings and Endings.

Cover reveal and excerpt of "YA Viking fantasy" Sky in the Deep by Adrienne Young.

18 books that are being turned into movies in 2018.

Catch these book deals before they're gone:

•  Beneath the Shine by Sarah Fine (review)

•  Girl on a Wire (review) and Girl in the Shadows by Gwenda Bond (review)

•  The Iron King by Julie Kagawa (review)

•  Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer (review)

•  The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord (review)

•  The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin (review)

Please note: FYA collects a small percentage of sales from these affiliate links. Thanks for your support!

YA Onscreen Things

This week in YA Onscreen: Black Panther and comic book movies galore, Nancy Drew (ish) and Little Women TV adaptations, and more.

Trailer for The Tribes of Palos Verdes (December 1st), featuring apparent new YA movie powerhouse, Jennifer Garner. (She'll also be in the Simon vs. Homo Sapiens Agenda adaptation.)

An oral history of The Craft, which also happens to be this week's Stream It pick. (Synergy!)

The top 20 'binge-raced' shows on Netflix, i.e., the fastest binge-watched shows. The only ones I've finished or am caught up with are 1 and 17-20. (Stop trying to make 'binge-racing' happen, Netflix. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.)

Gina Rodriguez and America Ferrera organized a brunch with a bunch of fellow Latinas in Hollywood, and OF COURSE IT LOOKS AMAZING.

Wait, did y'all know there's going to be a live-action Teen Titans show?! Because I only learned about it when Ryan Potter (aka Hiro in Big Hero Six) was cast as Beast Boy. (More casting info at the link, incl. Lyla Garrity in some capacity!?)

Development has halted on the adaptation of Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, with producer and co-director Channing Tatum cutting ties with The Weinstein Company and all its properties.

More and more heartbreaking stories of sexual assault in (and out) of Hollywood are emerging every day. Molly Ringwald writes about her experience, and The Daily Beast examines the other Hollywood 'open secret' of preying on young boys.

Social Media Things

Thread by romance writer Courtney Milan on writing POCs for non-POCs.

It’s “I’m afraid to write POC” o’clock again apparently. I think people need to interrogate that fear. What are you really afraid of?

— Courtney!!! Milan (@courtneymilan) October 19, 2017

OH, GOOD. A new article with a YA #HotTake.

13 Reasons Why came out a year before The Hunger Games. These YA think pieces never have any thought behind them.https://t.co/MLJW3ehPo0

— Shade Fangburn �� (@shanepang) October 19, 2017

As we await this year's inevitable ill-advised/outright offensive celebrity costumes, here's an awesome group costume courtesy of NBA teammates Russell Westbrook and Nick Collison, and their spouses.

 

A post shared by Russell Westbrook (@russwest44) on

Oct 14, 2017 at 8:18pm PDT

Have you been following or participating in the FYA Photo-a-Day challenge? Here are some of our fave submissions from Week 2!

 

Our #fyaphotoaday Week 2 faves! Swipe to check 'em out. 1. @grieshaber_reads (Book Swag) 2. @smalltownnerdlette (Feel the Power) 3. @kwoolery08 (Riot Grrls) 4. @ladybookdragon (Frustration, Thy Name Is) 5. @akraticbehavior (It's in the Bag) 6. @cedarmilllibrary (Riot Grrls) 7. @flashbug (Friday the 13th) 8. @glamtart (Friday the 13th) #bookstagram #bookstagramchallenges

A post shared by Forever Young Adult (@forever_young_adult) on

Oct 15, 2017 at 7:39pm PDT

It's true -- you really can make pumpkin spice versions of everything: pumpkin spice books.

People have been sharing their stories of sexual harrassment and assault with #MeToo, which is actually a decade-old campaign for sexual assault awareness.

Miscellaneous Things

A family stranded in the Scottish Highlands gets picked up by the Hogwarts Express. (Clearly, they didn't drive out there in a flying Ford Anglia.)

LEGO's Women of NASA set will be available on November 1st. (Which unfortunately doesn't include Katherine Johnson, due to approval rights.)

Round 2 of voting for Smallville Funko Pops has commenced. Somebody saaaaave meeeee... from making a decision, because I really can't choose.

That's it for this week. Feel free to share your thoughts on these or any links we may have missed in the comments below!

Happy Friday! What are you reading/doing/listening to/enjoying? Got your Halloween costume ready?

Source

As always, feel free to talk about anything you like!

October is in full swing, and that means the summer blockbuster season has come to a close. But just because the weather’s getting cooler doesn’t mean that there aren’t a ton of great movies to look forward to!

Check out the trailers below, and then head to the comments to discuss.

Lady Bird

Release Date: Nov. 3

In Order of Appearance: Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Lucas Hedges, Timothée Chalamet, Jordan Rodrigues, Danielle Macdonald, Tracy Letts, Beanie Feldstein, Lois Smith

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: “I gave it to myself. It’s given to me by me.”

Bonus Factor: An over-the-top, but totally realistic, mother-daughter relationship.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Theater, with my mom. I think this is one of those movies that has its dramatic moments, but overall fills viewers with a sense of hope and promise. We all need these sorts of movies in our lives right now.

Murder on the Orient Express

Release Date: Nov. 10

In Order of Appearance: Kenneth Branagh, Johnny Depp, Judi Dench, Daisy Ridley, Willem Dafoe, Josh Gad, Penelope Cruz, Lucy Boynton, Sergei Polunin, Derek Jacobi, Michelle Pfeiffer, Olivia Colman, Leslie Odom, Jr.

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When Daisy tells everyone that she’s keeping an eye on them.

Bonus Factor: THAT CAST. (Minus you know who. It saddens me that he’s so problematic.)

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Netflix. Although this looks to be a fun whodunit, and I certainly dig Kenneth Branagh films, I’m not sure it’s the kind of movie I need to see on the big screen. Also, as someone who grew up with a mother who frequently watched David Suchet’s many turns as Hercule Poirot, and who ingrained in me how perfect he was in the role, it’s really hard for me to see someone else try to embody the character.

Wonder

Release Date: Nov. 16

In Order of Appearance: Jacob Tremblay, Owen Wilson, Daveed Diggs, Julia Roberts, Izabela Vidovic, Noah Jupe, Millie Davis

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When Auggie—at least, I assume it’s Auggie—in his astronaut outfit goes through the tunnel of high fives.

Bonus Factor: Julia Roberts’ laugh. Not joking.

Anti-Bonus Factor: It just got REAL dusty in here.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Netflix. I think this movie looks crazy adorable, but also like the kind of movie through which I would cry the entire dang time, and I’d rather do that in the privacy of my own home.

The Man Who Invented Christmas

Release Date: Nov. 22

In Order of Appearance: Christopher Plummer, Dan Stevens, Morfydd Clark, Miriam Margolyes, Ian McNeice, Jonathan Pryce,

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When Dickens finally comes up with the name Scrooge.

Bonus Factor: A celebration of the art of writing a story. Oh, and Dan Stevens in a period role. (Even with that terrible wig.)

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Netflix. I love the idea of seeing the story behind one of the most famous Christmas tales of all, but something about this trailer makes me feel like this movie is going to verge on Hallmark Christmas Special territory. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, I’m just not sure I need to spend (extra, non-subscription) money to see it. Though, that Dan Stevens sure is a draw ...

The Shape of Water

Release Date: Dec. 8

In Order of Appearance: Richard Jenkins, Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, David Hewlett, Doug Jones, Michael Stuhlbarg

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: “If we do nothing, neither are we.”

Bonus Factor: Guillermo del Toro’s patented mix of creepy and cute.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Theater. From the first time I saw this trailer, I have been waiting not so patiently for this to come out. Even though the trailer seems to reveal a lot, I’m unsure if I know exactly what will happen in the film, and I like that uncertainty. I’m also really digging the look of the movie, the old-fashioned costumes and sets and the muted colors, and the way it reminds me of the Hellboy series. Doug Jones does so well at playing amphibious creatures!

Jumani: Welcome to the Jungle

Release Date: Dec. 20

In Order of Appearance: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Karen Gillan, Jack Black, Kevin Hart, Alex Wolff, Madison Iseman, Ser'Darius Blain, Morgan Turner, Rhys Darby, Bobby Cannavale, Nick Jonas

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When Karen jumps into the air and kicks those two dudes in the face. I am all about Amy Pond, Action Hero.

Bonus Factor: The Rock. His character’s name is Dr. Smolder Bravestone. I mean.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Theater? I was all set to say no to this movie, even with The Rock in a starring role. (And if you know me, you know that I love The Rock.) The original is a classic, and no one can do what Robin Williams did as well as Robin Williams. But this doesn’t look to be a remake as much as an update, and I did find myself laughing more than a few times during the trailer.

What say you, party people? Are you excited about any of these movies? Did I miss any amazing trailers for movies coming out in the next couple of months? Share your thoughts or other trailers below.

Previously on Outlander: Claire prepares to go back to the 18th century. Brianna copes with her new normal. Roger is adorable.

Well, was that enough boinking for you? Because that was a lot of boinking.

I’ll be honest: I didn’t like this episode, and whether you know what happens next, or you just picked up on that Ned Gowan legal consultation reference, or maybe you just know that Jamie’s shady print shop and smuggling ring can lead to no good, it cast a pall over the reunion. Also, I am highly allergic to awkward scenes, and there is nothing more awkward than reuniting with your ex for the first time.

So let’s catch up!

It turns out that Jamie’s print shop, which prints seditious materials, is also a front for a smuggling ring. (Does this man have a death wish? Does he like prison and beatings?) Well, nothing can go wrong there.

The tearful reunion between the lovers is sweet, although interrupted by Jamie’s be-goitered employee Geordie, who quits when he sees them making out. Then they start catching up on the last twenty years: photographs of Brianna, a portrait of Willie, whether Claire left Frank. Jamie realizes he’s late for a meeting, so he takes Claire along with him.

On the way, they run into a grown Fergus (OMG HE IS SO CUTE), who greets Claire happily (they too get to catch up—hey, dude, what happened to your hand?) and privately, vaguely questions Jamie about a mysterious legal matter pertaining to Claire’s reappearance that will require Ned Gowan’s services. Oh, Claire, something is up.

Jamie’s business takes him to a tavern, where he’s threatened, and then a brothel, where he’s fawned over. (Understandable.) He rents a room there, which earns him some serious Claire side-eye—but it’s okay, the madam is a customer of his! Ah, how romantic.

Then the boinking begins, and there’s a lot of it. The first time is awkward and the deed itself is hurried, the second and third times are much sexier. (I understand why they’re letting the hot people stay hot instead of aging them, but it is pretty hilarious to watch Claire talk about the ravages of time while she’s as perky-boobed as ever.)

After all is said and they both have been thoroughly done, Jamie has more business to attend to outside the brothel. This time, while he’s gone, she meets little Ian, her nephew, and also some of the prostitutes, who mistake her for one of their own. As soon as she goes back upstairs, however, she discovers a man has broken into Jamie’s room—and when he finds out that she’s his wife, he threatens to rape her. We can’t have nice things, can we?

Kilt Drops: 3

God, that first one was awkward. And you’re telling me that Claire, as a surgeon, doesn’t know when a nose has been broken?

Wit and Wordplay

“I quit! I'm Free Church. Working for a Papist is one thing,, but working for an immoral papist is another.  Do what you like with your own soul, man, but if it's come to orgies in the shop, it's come too far. Oh, God's tooth. It's not even noon.”

“You’ve grown into such a handsome young man!”
“Aye, I have.”

Sasse-WHAT?

- I know they’re all googly-eyed over each other, but how does Claire not sense that Jamie’s not telling her the full truth? Does she need a neon sign?

- Are the photographs going to lead to another witch trial? And why bring the bikini photo of someone’s DAUGHTER to an era where showing a little ankle makes you a hussy?

- How weird would it be to have some strange lady be all, “Oh hi, Jamie’s not around. I’m your aunt Claire?”

- The kilts were nice, but I’m also into this breeches-and-tricorn-hat combo.

- I…kind of miss Brianna and Roger.

Next episode: Looks like that seditious print shop is going to get Jamie into trouble already.

So, what did you think? Was it worth the wait?

BOOK REPORT for Strange Lies by Maggie Thrash

Cover Story: Creepy
Drinking Buddy: No
Testosterone/Estrogen Level: Such Potential
Talky Talk: Where to Begin?
Bonus Factor: Mystery
Bromance Status: Car Wreck Witness

Cover Story: Creepy

That is one spooky-ass cover, with the upside down school at night. And if you read the back blurb, you seem to be in store for an edge-of-your-seat mystery and a harsh look at society. The book fails to deliver either.

The Deal:

In the previous book, Mystery Club sleuths Benny Flax and Virginia Leeds solve a murder at their fancy-pants private school. In Strange Lies, they're confronted with the brutal maiming of the student body president. Was it an accident or an assault? Who was passing out pills that night? Did the golf team really assault an African-American caddy? And is there something going on between our two main characters, or will Virginia fall for Calvin, the oddball but charming poet?

Drinking Buddy: No

It should have worked. Benny is smart but uptight, Virginia is fun but flighty. There's Calvin, the pothead poet and son of the headmaster; DeAndre, the African-American student body president (the guy who gets badly injured); and a whole cast of class clowns, athletes, hipsters, and teachers.

Except, every secondary character is either a sitcom level buffoon or a so hateful that it borders on sociopathic.Even Virginia is not exempt. She climbs on top of Calvin while he's driving, causing him to wreck his car. She wakes up in the hospital with a shattered arm, but doesn't even bother to ask about what happened to Calvin or the other passengers until hours later.

Testosterone/Estrogen Level: Such Potential

Every serious issue this book tried to present (race relations, the privilege of wealth, parental expecations) is subverted by scenes so ludicrous that the producers of Perfect Strangers might have balked. DeAndre, the popular black student, is injured in what may be a hate crime. Except he allegedly slipped on a banana peel and was impaled on the horns of a taxidermized deer, which makes the whole thing kind if ridiculous. An athlete gets his girlfriend pregnant. But she's so annoyingly ditzy it's hard take the situation seriously.

As to the romantic angles: the author almost pulled off a nice romantic triangle with unpopular Virginia being pursued by strange-looking but romantic Calvin, while secretly hoping Benny might show an interest (who in turn is being pursued by one of the cheerleaders).

Unfortunately, all this is overshadowed by the implication that teen girls are expected to have had sex with about forty different partners by graduation. Benny's crush laments that she's serviced so many guys that the football team bought her knee pads (and she's not joking). Virginia goes to a party to discover that the girls are being auctioned off so everyone can  can do body shots off the winner (drink a shot from their navel). Virginia, unaware that there's a false rumor going around that she's easy, 'wins.' When Benny arrives at the party, he's horrified to find a bunch of guys ripping her shirt off and attempts to intervene. Virginia chides him for being such a stick in the mud.

In the previous book, Benny and Virginia catch a middle-aged pervert trying to secretly film the girls at their school while they're undressing in the locker room. For some reason, he's never punished, though Virginia manages to swipe $400 from him. In this book, the guy tracks her down, demanding she either return his money or help him get footage for his films--or star in one herself. Virginia is horrified and immediately turns this sick fucker over to the police...

No, wait, she doesn't. She vaguely wonders how she'll pay him back, though she's flattered that he would consider her worthy of being in his movie.

The only person who tries to convince the girls to have a little self-respect is the principal, who is described as a pantsuit-wearing, Hillary Clinton-admiring, troll of a woman.

Talky Talk: Where to Begin?

On top of all that, the whole storyline took on a soap opera plot direction. Nothing is ever resolved. The same mysteries held over from the last book, such as Benny's father's freak accident that left him an invalid or Virginia's mysterious parents, are still left up in the air. This wasn't a cliffhanger, the issues were just mentioned a few times but never fleshed out.

Antony John once said that good characters can make up for a weak plot, but not vice versa. I think this book is a good example of that.

Bonus Factor: Mystery

The book's main mysteries of who assaulted DeAndre and whether some students were involved in a seperate racially-motivated crime were well-handled and resolved in an unexpected and intriguing manner. This is why the book was not a total loss.

Bromance Status: Car Wreck Witness

So why did I read this book when I disliked the first one so much? Well, Benny and Virginia were likeable enough that I wanted to know what happened to them. And the author was just talented enough that I want to see how all this is resolved. I'll read the next one.

FTC full disclosure: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher, Simon Pulse. No money or body shots, however.

Thanks for joining us for this week's YA Onscreen! Here's what's new:

Lost Boys almost had an end credit scene and a different ending.

UnReal's adding some new characters to its fourth season. 

Renee Zellweger will be starring as Judy Garland in a bio-pic about the end of her life. I'm not sure Zellweger would've even been my fourth pick to portray Judy Garland, but I'm certainly curious for the promotional pictures.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is making some feminist waves by being one of the first primetime TV shows to use the word "clitoris" in a storyline about a man realizing he's never given his wife an orgasm.

Some surmise that part of the reason Netflix is so eager to bring back a second round of the Gilmore Girls revival is because they've revealed that it is the most "binge-raced" series in their repertoire. For the uninitiated, binge-racing is when you try to be the first to binge a show in a single day or less. Can we not make this a thing, internet people? Must we sink to this level of calling "First!" on who can sit on their couch for the longest?

Star Trek: Discovery has already been renewed for a second season.

Everything we know so far about the new season of Doctor Who, including her multiple new companions.

How great is the opening shot of this teaser trailer for I, Tonya when she stubs out a cigarette with the toe of her skate (toe pick!)?

Stephen King thinks that if a television adaptation of The Dark Tower happens that it'll probably be a complete reboot. Can you imagine if they had tried to cram Game of Thrones into one movie? Yeesh.

Noel Schnapp from Stranger Things has landed a role in Abe, a movie about a twelve-year-old boy who loves to cook.

TVLine's guide to more than sixty adaptations of movies heading to the small screen. 

Check out what is leaving and arriving on Netflix in November. 

Drew Goddard is producing an adaptation of a new middle-grade fantasy novel called Nevermoor coming out this Halloween. It's about a cursed girl who's slated to die on her 11th birthday but is whisked away to a magical city called Nevermoor. 

The trailer for Marvel's new Punisher movie:

Elizabeth Banks is bringing DC comic character Traci Thirteen to The CW. 

Gina Rodriguez is going to be an executive producer (alongside the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend team) for a female-driven drama on the CW network. It will be about four millenial women who become friends through a "secret feminist social media group". 

That's it for the week! Let us know your thoughts below.

BOOK REPORT for That Inevitable Victorian Thing by E.K. Johnston

Cover Story: Montell Jordan
BFF Charm: Big Sister
Swoonworthy Scale: 5
Talky Talk: Map to Modern Victoriana
Bonus Factors: O Canada, Diversity, LGBTQ
Relationship Status: I See What You Did There

Get ready to live in a world where society balls and debuts still exist, but the Computer is responsible for your romantic rendezvous. Find out more at our series on Kirkus!

Well this outing was a real headache! Let's recap this show's first-ever true dud quick.

AWARDS

THIS WEEK'S MVP(arent)

Santa Xiomara Villanueva De La Vega, she of the infinite patience, she who was forced to parent both Darcy and Darcy's unborn future child and did it all with a smile, a full pantry, and a seemingly endless supply of billowy, zen blouses.

(N.B. NO runner-up from this recapper for any of the parents involved with making any of the school entrollment decisions, either now or in Jane's past. It's too tricky for me, a non-parent, to invoke in the Awards section, but I do have THOUGHTS that I suspect will be UNPOPULAR. We'll get there!)

BEST TELENOVELA TWIST

HOW did Magda get out of prison?? WHERE has she been since she did???? HOW has Petra not once thought to check in on her status after all these years/Magda's masterminding of Anezka's identity-swapping scheme????

via

HER EYEPATCH MATCHES HER CAFTAAAAAAAAANNNNN

WHO KNOWS. I'm just glad to see such an honestly villainous villain back in play.

BEST PRODUCT PLACEMENT

I guess the year fitbits *finally* seem to be off-trend would be the year Alba hops on the bandwagon. You do you, Alba! Now that you've found love again, we all (but most especially your ride or die, Rafael) want your heart healthy enough to squeeze every bit of time and joy of of that experience.

via

Same, Jane.

PREVIOUSLY ON JANE THE VIRGIN

Jane and Raf spent the three years following Michael's sudden death developing a deep, complex friendship and mature co-parenting dynamic predicated on their mutual respect for each other, their understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses, and the fact that with three seasons of Jane the Virgin character growth behind them, they had been able to get over their different-sides-of-the-track emotional baggage/judginess. It was great! Then Raf started dating Petra again, for real, based on THEIR developing of a deep friendship and mature co-parenting/co-executing bond predicated on THEIR mutual respect for each other, their understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses, and the fact that with three seasons of Jane the Virgin character growth behind them, they had been able to get over their distrust of each other from, like, a villainy level, but also from a "Raf is always half in love with Jane and Jane is always half in love with Raf and Petra is always half jealous/half resentful of both" level, which happened because Jane and Petra ALSO developed a…deepish…friendship and mature co-co-step-parenting dynamic predicated on, well, everything. Which is why it made sense that Petra would feel safe confiding in Jane about her concerns about resuming a relationship with Rafael, and why Jane would feel safe reacting with a realization that maybe she DOES still have feelings for him, and leaving a message telling Petra that, and then telling Raf that, and everyone came back regressed to their Season 2 worst selves, and now Jane and Raf are fighting about his rich kid entitlement and Petra and Raf are struggling to maintain their mature new relationship and Jane and Petra…well, actually? they seem good. But everything else is bad!

Meanwhile, Jane has reconnected with her first love/first fiancé, graphic artist Adam, while Rogelio's pregnant reality-show ex, Darcy, has barely been talked down from litigating all custody away from Rogelio and also has maybe gone into labor, while XO has had to put up with all of it, all the while NOT GETTING TO GO ON EVEN A SLIVER OF A HONEYMOON.

THIS WEEK

Missing: Lady Voice of God (and Reason)

Okay, very first of all: the biggest misstep this show has yet made is giving us a brand new Lady Voice of God Narrator to get us on board with Adam's importance, and then immediately taking her away. I *knew* it was going to happen, because I read an interview with the voice actor and she said she had only been hired for the one episode, but, like, I didn't want to *believe* it, you know? Because what a great device! And what a great way to mix up the show's whole deal here in the middle of the series' run, without going too wild. What an aboslutely missed opportunity to layer in more of Adam's backstory between scenes, and/or to further develop our sense of the OG VoG as his own character, and/or to make the stakes of Adam's decisions re: Jane have any real meaning to us whatsoever.

So, already I've started this episode off on the wrong foot. Meanwhile, both Jane and Rafael have had their personalities temporarily replaced by earlier, less emotionally advanced versions—Jane as "Fun Jane," playing beer pong with Adam and his artist loft roommates, Raf as "Douche Raf," wheeling and dealing to try to get a second "Take Back the Marbella" scheme going after Anezka totally blew up his and Petra's last one, resulting in Luisa freezing Mateo's trust fund and, with it, Rafael's chance to make the tuition payment for Mateo's next year of rich-kid school, resulting in Jane's anxiety over making a good impression at public school enrollment day, resulting in Raf's reassurances that he'll get his hotel (and money) back soon enough that public school won't even be a thing, resulting in Jane making very unatteractive faces while he isn't looking.

Truly, only Alba (and probably Mateo?) are happy with Rafael's continued bunking at the Villanueva residence.

The School Thing

Okay, so let's get this school thing, which is genuinely a school thing but also a symbolic "who are we as people" thing, over with.

The problem? Mateo currently has no school to go to, with Raf's tuition check bouncing. But that's not really a problem, because in the United States we have free public schools for all students, by law, so all they have to do is roll up to their neighborhood public elementary school and get the kiddo enrolled!

The problem? Jane's neighborhood school is capital-B Bad. The building is bad, the academic reputation is bad, the enrollement experience is bad. And while Jane has the social justice presence of fury to note how intrinsically unfair it is that poorer neighborhoods end up with poorer schools that end up scaring so many families with any economic means/privilege at all away that they become even less well-attended and thus less well-funded, Jane still won't have Mateo go there, not when Catholic school is an option! And while Rafael has morally objected to Catholic school in the past, getting caught between this particular rock and public school nightmare hard place might be enough to get him to overlook those objections, at least for now—plus Rogelio can totally swing the $8k tuition at the one school with a single opening left (which begs the quesiton, how expensive was Mateo's last school???), so we're good to go!

The problem? In her post-hospital sleep of the medicated on Adam's couch, Jane oversleeps her alarm and misses the interview appointment, and now the school has given that slot away, so it's back to public school nightmare square one. But that's okay! Raf says, because they can just wait out this first year at the local bad school, then next year enroll Mateo in the highly rated, better funded public school in Ro+Xo's new neighborhood, fudging Mateo's address as theirs.

The problem? As far as Jane is concerned, that is just some entitled rich kid bullshit, thinking that cheating the system for personal gain is okay, and she is not here for it, or Rafael.

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So yeah! It turns out that Jane, who started this whole boondoggle talking about her positive memories of the few years she was in public school before they could afford the move to Catholic school, the public school she ended up at after the neighborhood school Jane is now refusing to enroll Mateo in was "overenrolled," turns out Jane got into that better public school using the exact same address-fudging trick Raf suggested for Mateo! Alba and Xo used the address of someone at church, and Jane got a better early education, and now here she is, able to think critically for herself maybe even because of that slight edge in her early education. And also Raf gets all the moral high cards for revealing Jane's hypocritic judginess to her, and Jane is put in the position of eating crow and telling Raf he was right all along and she was letting her judginess take control, and they decide to go with Raf's/Alba's fudged address plan ("At least until I get my hotel back!" ::collective eyeroll from Jane and all of us::), because Jane was just absolutely wrong about what the right thing to do here is.

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We would all like that, tyvm.

So here is the deal: I am not a parent, and just like The Good Place's Chidi couldn't truly understand the impossiblity of the Trolley Problem until he was physically made, over and over, to live out the bloody reality of the Trolley Problem, I can't truly understand the impossibility of an actual parent having to make this kind of actual difficult justice-oriented decision for their actual kid.

However.

Jane was absolutely correct in her first reaction to the nightmare of their neighborhood school—the way the system is set up for public schools to get funded is, in its bones, unfair, and predicated on racist redlining neighborhood schemes from generations ago which we as individuals have no control over now, but whose negative effects have compounded over time, and turned out a public school landscape that does not provide equal education access to all children. And the worse a neighborhood school gets, the more likely it is to scare away the very families whose enrollment could get it the money it would need to improve, and thus the more likely it is for that school to close down, and for that safe space in that community to disappear, and for the only options for those neighborhood kids to become private schools they can't afford, or public schools a longer bus ride away that cuts into their ability to have enough time to do their homework or extracurricular activities or spend time with family or sleep or ultimately feel like they belong to their community at all.

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I'm not at all saying that I think Jane was wrong to make the choice she did, or that Raf or Alba or anyone else was wrong to suggest the options they did—like I said, I'm not a parent and I understand that my academic approach to a moral dilemma has nothing on the approach of real parents making real decisions for their real kids' real futures.

What I am saying is, this is a legit social injustice happening in the world, and Jane the Virgin, as a show, has a strong history with treating this kinds of issues with real weight (goofy onscreen hashtags count as real weight in this world), wthout making the characters choose to handle them in any kind of idealized, perfect way. But what the show did here, not supporting Jane's first rant with any onscreen hashtag or offscreen commentary about what policy initiatives to look up to learn more, was different: it made Jane only be wrong, and flattened the moral dilemma to just her choice to give Mateo the best education possible, cheating the system (and the other kids in the neighborhood not clever or lucky enough to be able to pull off this particular flavor of cheating) be damned. I am absolutely for Jane making this decision in the end; it is in character for her, and for the Raf, and for them as a family unit, and her not making necessarily the perfect choice for all of society is in character with the show. But not giving the public school issue at hand any real sense of complexity or gravity isn't, and I really lament that.

Anyway, here are some things to read/listen to/watch if you want to know more about why I, a non-parent, would put myself so firmly on the side of "maybe striving for the absolute best for your own kid isn't always they ideal solution!!!":

Everything 2017 MacArthurt Genius/NYT Social Justice Investigative Reporter Nikole Hannah-Jones has done, but particularly her spot on Adam Ruins Everything describing redlining (and her extended ARE podcast discussing the same), this 2017 piece on losing sigh of the promise of public schools, and this cover story on choosing a lower-rated public school for her own daughter.

This Code Switch podcast episode on the final days of a Pittsburgh public school (October 11, if you're scrolling the episode list):

Consider all of that my #publicschoolfailures onscreen text submission, for this, an uncharacteristic oversight on JtV's usually woke part.

The Adam Thing

Okay, back to the fun parts of this show! Specifically, Fun!Jane, who is very different from Mom!Jane, which we know both from Adam's avatar sketches of both, and from Jane's low-key glee at being able to be "young" again with him and his friends, playing beer pong, playing roofball, playing hooky on her life in general.

Unfortunately, low-key turns high-key when Jane shows up for a normal date night to find Adam on the phone with a VFX company he applied to months ago, offering him the job after all those many months of silence. The catch? It's in LA! Which, duh. But also, yay Adam!

…is at least what Jane says, out loud, even thought it is incredibly obvious from her face how disappointed she is. But: "I know this is crazy, but if you say you want me to stay, I'll stay," Adam tells her, and just about now would the THE PERFECT TIME FOR HIS LVOG NARRATOR TO POP IN and exclaim over how rash he is being, only for Jane's OG VoG to chime in and suggest they see how it plays out, because Jane is worth the energy, only for LVoG to quip back that OG VoG thinks mean blondes walking down hallways carrying paperwork is worth the energy, only for Jane and Adam to start talking again and us to actually care about how this all plays out. But instead, there is no LVoG, and we all have seen the promo photos of Adam hanging out with Jane and Mateo, and so duh, he isn't going to take the job, so why even bother with this hiccup.

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The ball is LVog and Jane is JtV and we are Adam in this scenario; am I being TOO obvious?

Anyway, Jane (naturally) gets really in her head about this sudden pressure, and so doesn't necessarily think the consequences through when Adam suggests they play roofball to get her centered and for him to apologize for making her take so much pressure on, and then they are very cute together, and then they are locked on the roof, and then Adam says he usually just jumps down (what roof in the world is jump-down-able???), and then Fun!Jane does, and then her leg is broken.

And now we are in the hospital, and Jane has a fractured maybe shin bone (techincal medical term), and she is hopped up on painkillers, and the doctor is assuming Adam is her committed life partner, and Jane is being very honest about her thoughts regarding all of it, except for what her responsibilities as a mom are from this hospital visit on. So before we get to the consequences of her master-level compartmentalizing, let's talk about where she went wrong!

And now to the consequences, which are that Jane is not only hurt and unable to drive for the next several weeks, but also that she didn't tell Adam about her mom-duties to get Mateo to the Catholic school interview in the morning, and thus ends up missing it. Which she takes as a sign that she and Adam aren't right for each other in their life positions after all, but which Adam rightly reads as "yo, just tell me about these things and I am all over helping and being present!" The upshot is: Jane is finally honest with Adam about not wanting him to leave, and Adam decides to stay, and they kiss and are cute. But without his LVoG, it's hard to FEEL it, y'know?

The Petrael Thing

With very little in the way of groundwork to prepare us/shot of a therapy session or book telling them to speak so carefully to each other, Rafael and Petra spend the entire episode having conversations as though they are new to being human and have only had GOOP to teach them how to communicate. (Yes, the VoG tries to prepare us by flashing a scene in the "Previously On…" about them deciding to approach this second relationship with more maturity, but this rhetorical style is not universally a direct result of that kind of declaration.)

It is as awkward for them as it is for us, and even less productive, as what they are trying to do is accomplish a certain kind of sneaky business coup, getting someone not tied to them to be the face of a new cash offer, with the promise of a 10% profit (or something, idk business talk). They each find someone they think will be right for the role (former paramour Chuck, from Petra, and a new-to-us Hilton-lite Cougar for Raf), and they each have the same objection to the other's pick (fear the pick would pressure the picker into sex/cheating to seal the deal). This leads to a real argument, in which Rafael tries to win Petra over to his side by noting that he is the least likely between them to fall into the trap of sleeping with his mark to get ahead, because unlike Petra, he's never done that before.

Uh, way harsh, Raf.

Naturally, this does not end well. Petra realizes that for all they each want to improve, they both are still the people they have always been, and Raf will always see her at least a little in that light, and so you know what? Maybe beyond being business partners and co-parents, they shouldn't do this relationship thing after all.

via

Raf does not take it well. In fact, he takes it so not well, he goes straight to the Hilton-lite Cougar and lets her talk him into sleeping with her. Meanwhile, Petra returns to her penthouse suite in a funk, only to find that Anezka has found Magda and given her control of Petra's two small children.

Cool. I hate everything about this.

The Rogelio & Darcy Thing

Completely separate (almost) from the rest of the Jane-Rafael-Petra drama, Xiomara and Rogelio are hosting a still-pregnant and very mean Darcy, whose labor pains last week were a false alarm brought on by stress. She spends the entire episode complaining about how alone she is going to be, and about how slow Xiomara's handmaiden service is, and having to be bullied into not doing work, until at last Xiomara snaps and forces Darcy to listen to her for once about everything that both she and Rogelio are doing for Darcy, and to just accept that they are all family now, which means Darcy won't ever be alone. And while Xo doesn't say it with quite so much menace, it does come through to Darcy as both the promise and threat that it is.

Rogelio, meanwhile, is working not only to build a nursery on set to prove to Darcy how committed he is to co-parenting, but also on keeping his job in the first place. Because surprise! He and Fabian are still feuding, and it has gotten so bad that the network execs' solution is to kill one of them off, which as a bonus will be a boost in their ratings! (Spoiler) So they have a focus group to decide who will get to keep their job, and lo and behold, Fabian has fudged the demographics of the situation by planting his grandma right in the center of the action.

Now, the reasonable person's response to this would be to bring the cheating to the attention of the focus group proctors—or at least ot have Jane do it, for Rogelio to save face by not being seen as a whiner. But lolol the day Rogelio de la Vega is categorized as a reasonable person will be the day this show hangs its (lavender) hat. What Rogelio DOES do is put on some of the more convincing drag I have seen in awhile, and infiltrate the group mid-focus to shift the conversation back in his favor. And while that can also rightly be seen as cheating, it is really just evening out the playing field, so when he is finally declared the winner, I judge the result as at least as fair as it could possibly have been.

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Alas, poor Fabian. Fare thee well! We will always have your abs to remember you by, I guess!

NEXT TIME

ONE.

OF.

THESE.

PEOPLE.

WILL.

DIE!!!!!!

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lololololol for absolutely ever at Rafael's telenovela pose

One hundred precent I think it will be Magda, mostly because she is the most expendable save for Anezka, but Anezka is just too much fun to watch (and also Yael-as-Anezka took over the show's Insta last week, presumably indicating that she will be in whatever future episode they were in the middle of shooting, hi, I'm here to ruin all movie magic with BTS sleuthing). But go ahead and cast your vote!

<-- Jane the Virgin 4x01: Chapter Sixty-Five

Jane the Virgin 4x03: CHapter Sixty-Seven -->

BOOK REPORT for You Bring The Distant Near by Mitali Perkins

Cover Story: Dancing Queen Goddess
BFF Charm: Yay, Meh, Yay, Eventually
Swoonworthy Scale: 3
Talky Talk: Slice Of Life
Bonus Factors: Diversity, Feminism, Tasty Business, Family
Anti-Bonus Factor: Racism
Relationship Status: Family Dinner Guest

Cover Story: Dancing Queen Goddess

The riot of color that make up the woman on the cover is very pleasing to the eye, though, um, ma’am? You seem to be harboring a city in your skirts. That seems like an uncomfortable way to dance.

I’m also going to use this space to say I absolutely adore this title and I’m happy the author included the poem/song it comes from in the front of the book. It’s a lovely sentiment and perfect for the novel.

The Deal:

Sisters Sonia and Tara are used to moving around, but they’re hoping that their recent passage to America will be the salve that heals their fractured family and gives them all that they’re looking for. Their mother, Ranee, has always been a force to be reckoned with, while Baba is the gentle and kind one, and theirs has never quite been a peaceful home life. When an accident splits their family apart, each girl finds their comfort and strength in things their mother doesn’t approve of, and after that home is never quite the same.

Years later, Ranee is determined to use her second chance with her granddaughters to make them into good Indian women, but they may end up teaching her more than she realizes. Author Mitali Perkins uses the lives of these five woman to ask tough questions, like do we ever really know what to leave or pass on from one generation to the next? Is it possible to lose too much of your heritage when you leave your home country behind? And can you ever feel at home in a world so different from your own?

BFF Charm: Yay, Meh, Yay, Eventually

All fifteen-year-old Sonia craves is a library card and a quiet place to write her thoughts down in her journal. Hi, teenage me. She’d probably be mad jealous of me, though, since I was an only child with a chill mom and copious amounts of time to journal away with my gel pens (but her fire escape haven sounds pretty cool). Overall I liked both teen and adult Sonia, a woman who both champions for human rights and writes her way into a free vacation to Paris.

Tara’s chapters lack the introspection of Sonia’s, and while I empathized with her situation, I couldn’t relate to her need to mold herself someone totally different just to get through her school day (she picked Marcia Brady as her American role model). Try as I might, I’ve never been able to fake much of anything, let alone adopt a whole new persona. It felt like even the author didn’t find Tara that compelling of a character as she basically dropped off the planet in the second half of the book.

Chantal (Shanti to her family), on the other hand, is Sonia’s daughter and is, surprise surprise, quite a delight. Her cousin, Anna, sees her as the golden child since she can both play basketball and get excellent grades, but she’s also a genuinely nice person who, bless her, tries to play peacemaker between her strong-willed grandmas.

When Anna first arrives in New York after being summarily dumped there by her Bollywood mom and banker dad, she’s a bit snooty and standoffish towards her American family. But her interactions with Ranee and her sewing club went a long way towards softening her up, and by the end I knew we could chill as long as she didn’t ask me to use a sewing machine (they actually hate me).

Swoonworthy Scale: 3

Between the five women there are a lot of romances flying around this book, and while none really brought the zing-a-ling, they did have a sweet and hopeful air about them. From Ranee and Ranjeev’s occasionally tumultuous arranged marriage to Sonia and Lou’s somewhat controversial (for their parents, at least) interracial courtship, you could tell that the focus wasn’t supposed to be on romances themselves but rather on the effects they produced. I did love the moment when Chantal realizes what had always attracted her to her friend-turned-boyfriend was his kindness. Score for the actual nice guy!

Talky Talk: Slice of Life

You Bring The Distant Near spans fifty years yet it’s not an overly long book, so there’s a lot of time-hopping, and some jumps work better than others. It really settled into its groove by the time we caught up to the last generation of Das women, but only because all the pieces were finally in play and you could experience the payoff from earlier setups. The writing style was simple and action driven, depositing you straight into the family without a lot of fluff or musings, and it was easy to devour in the span of an afternoon.

There was something comforting about this story; this is very much a book about one particular family, but there were plenty of universal themes and experiences that may remind you of your own family unit, and I love that. This is why books will always continue to be so integral to our humanity, because it reminds us that under all the extraneous junk, we’re all fundamentally reaching for the same ideals. 

Bonus Factor: Diversity

Ranee, born and raised as a “good” Bengali woman, is often at odds with her daughters who were raised with a mixture of English, American, and Indian influences. Once those daughters have daughters of their own, we have characters like Chantal, who is half-Bengali and half-black, struggling to find her place amongst both sides of her family; and Anna, a girl raised primarily in Mumbai who now has to figure out what being “American” means to a person who can speak better Bengali than her own Indian parents.

Bonus Factor: Feminism

Sonia grows up in the ‘70s and worships people like Gloria Steinem, and while 1970s era feminism can be a bit problematic, I am all for women getting their equal rights, so I would’ve gladly joined Sonia’s school club and thrown some glitter on a poster with her. (But I would not be burning my bras. I need those.)

Bonus Factor: Tasty Business

Full disclosure: I am not the biggest Indian food fan, but even I was getting a few hunger-grumbles at the descriptions of Ranee’s meals. I will, however, gladly take all the naan offered to me (get in mah belly).

Bonus Factor: Family

To paraphrase the words of one Rachel Green, isn’t family just kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic? Because, seriously—one second they are holding you back from everything you’ve ever wanted, and the next there’s no one else in the world who can ever make you feel more safe and at home. You want to hug them; you want to strangle them: it’s a conundrum.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Racism

There’s a saying some people bandy around that only white people can be racist, but take a look through this book and you’ll know that isn’t true; we are all human and all fallible. Sonia and Tara are horrified that their mother won’t let them walk their neighborhood in Flushing because she’s worried about the African-American children who play in the streets, but they can go out anytime they want in their mostly white neighborhood in Jersey. Thankfully these attitudes are portrayed as not okay, and being that we do span decades here, there is plenty of room for character growth.

Relationship Status: Family Dinner Guest

I don’t know if I want to be adopted into your family, Book—I quite like my own—but your family dinners promise to be interesting and tasty, and I will take you up on the occasional offer of a homecooked meal and lively conversation.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my free review copy from Farrar, Straus and Giroux. I received neither money nor peanut butter cups in exchange for this review. You Bring The Distant Near is available now.

BOOK REPORT for The Nowhere Girls by Amy Reed

Cover Story: Montell Jordan
BFF Charm: Yay x 3
Swoonworthy Scale: 0
Talky Talk: Third Person Omniscient Real Talk
Bonus Factors: Sex Talk, Diversity
Anti-Bonus Factors: Men’s Rights, Awful Grownups
Relationship Status: Lifelong Member

Trigger Warning: The Nowhere Girls features depictions of sexual assault and discussion of such topics that might be triggering for some readers.

Cover Story: Montell Jordan

I LOVE this cover. It’s bright and pretty and subversive all at the same time, which is wholly appropriate for the story within. I love how it looks like someone “defaced” an old, kind of boring painting, making it something new. I dig this kind of art so much. (As long as the original painting isn’t a masterwork or the original OKed it, unlike what Montana did to Maggie’s art in the last season of Younger. That’s not cool.)

It also totally matches my current laptop wallpaper, so you know it called to me right away.

The Deal:

Grace is a pastor’s daughter whose life turned upside down when her mother started preaching about a very different Jesus—a more compassionate, loving, liberal Jesus—than their church was used to.

Erin is a brilliant girl who’s on the Autism Spectrum and thrives on having a set routine, but is hiding skeletons in her very organized closet.

Rosina is the lesbian black sheep of a giant Mexican family who chafes at the roles she’s been forced into, including that of lone babysitter of too many cousins and a grandmother with dementia and waitress at their family’s restaurant. (She doesn’t even like Mexican food.)

Prescott, Oregon, is a town with a problem: sexual assault and mistreatment of young women that gets swept under the rug.

Grace, Erin and Rosina aren’t the heroes Prescott wants. But when they start an anonymous group called The Nowhere Girls to try and shed light on the problem—and maybe even do something about it—they’re certainly the heroes the town needs.

BFF Charm: Yay x 3

Grace, Erin and Rosina are an odd trio of girls. They become friends because none of them really fit in with any of the “normal” high school cliques. They all have aspects of their personalities that might make it hard to get close to them, too. Grace is somewhat judgy, thanks to her strict Christian upbringing; Erin struggles to connect with people because of her Autism; Rosina’s standoffish and can often be cranky. But each of them are powerful young women with huge hearts and an unshakeable dedication to justice, particularly for their fellow Prescott High School female classmates. The amount of conviction it took for them to keep pushing with the Nowhere Girls’s agenda, even as the adults around them threatened and plotted, was awe-inspiring. I’d be honored to be their friend.

Plus, Erin loves Star Trek: The Next Generation even more than I do.

Swoonworthy Scale: 0

The Nowhere Girls is a book about sexual assault. It features a wide variety of depictions of sex, from rape to consensual love making. But the sheer disgust I had for the guys in the book who perpetrated the assaults totally negated any swoon I might have found with some of the other stories within.

Talky Talk: Third Person Omniscient Real Talk

I don’t usually get so clinical with my Talky Talk categorization, but in this case I wanted to make it clear that The Nowhere Girls is written in third person. The chapters are split up between the POVs of Grace, Erin, Rosina, and “Us,” a catchall POV that features snippets of various other girls’ stories. Third person narration can sometimes take readers out of the story and make it hard to connect with the characters, but I’m almost thankful for the distance in this case.

Reed delves deep into serious topics in this book, and does so with brutal focus. She doesn’t shy away from the horrific truths of topics such as sexual assault, the tendency to sweep rape under the rug, victim shaming, slut shaming, etc. She also takes a look at the many different sides of the situations, including excerpts from one of the worst offenders’ blog, which is filled with the all-too believable vitriol of a “real man,” and discussions between boyfriends and girlfriends in which the boy is worried that he’s done his girl wrong. She looks at feminism from different sides, too. In one “Us” chapter, a black girl thinks about how she appreciates what the Nowhere Girls are doing, but can’t join in because of how people view feminists of color.

The Nowhere Girls is a frank, searing look at culture—and not just rape culture—that will stick with me for a long, long time.

Bonus Factor: Sex Talk

The Nowhere Girls have meetings that a wide variety of young women attend. Many are virgins, some are in committed sexual relationships, some have been assaulted. Some enjoy sex, some see it as a chore. Some like guys, some like girls. It’s refreshing to read such varied accounts of and viewpoints on sex, and to see these girls talk about it. Not without some hesitation, of course, as it’s not always easy for everyone to be so open about a topic that’s still seen as somewhat taboo, but they are opening lines of communication that so badly need to be opened.

Bonus Factor: Diversity

The diverse natures of the main characters in The Nowhere Girls was a nice change of pace. None of the main trio are your standard YA MCs. Two are white, yes, but Grace is overweight and somewhat “plain,” and Erin is on the spectrum. Rosina is a lesbian Latina. They’re outcasts, but all the better for it. And man, do they ever feel real.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Men’s Rights

I could feel my blood boiling while reading the excerpts “written” by one of the sexual predators. What makes it even worse is that I know that there are actual, real-life people out there who believe this sort of shit.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Awful Grownups

The people in Prescott who are supposed to be protecting the girls at the high school, particularly the school’s principal and the town’s police chief, are awful excuses for human beings. They don’t think “their boys” would ever do anything wrong, and shift the blame toward the victims or ignore their cries for help. They think The Nowhere Girls are causing trouble and bullying. Their inability to see the truth is stunning, once again made worse by the fact that they could easily be real people.

Relationship Status: Lifelong Member

You weren’t an easy read, Book, but you were an important one. And I’m pledging myself here and now to try and uphold your values in any way I can.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Simon Pulse, but got neither a private dance party with Tom Hiddleston nor money in exchange for this review. The Nowhere Girls is available now.

Title: Sleepy Hollow
Year: 1999
Fix: drama, mysteries, Halloween, Tim Burton, monsters, horror
Platforms: Netflix

Netflix Summary:

New York detective Ichabod Crane is sent to Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of mysterious deaths in which the victims are found beheaded.

FYA Summary:

I feel pretty confident that FYA readers are familiar with 1) the Washington Irving story The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and 2) Tim Burton. Put these together, and you get a campy, classic tale retold with the signature gothic quirk of Halloween's favorite director. We all know the story, but it's Tim Burton's vision combined with an all-star cast that keeps this movie at the top of my October must-watch list year after year.

Familiar Faces:

Johnny Depp as Ichabod Crane

Depp plays the famously squeamish Crane with just enough effiminacy and physical humor that it makes you wonder if this was the beginning of his Jack Sparrow character bubbling to the surface. Also, one could argue that this movie marked the end of Depp's rise to heartthrob status and the beginning of his slow, sad decent into pirate troll person. Enjoy it: he's never this hot again.

Christina Ricci as Katrina Van Tassel

Katrina is a bit demure for a Christina Ricci character, but it was post-colonial New England, and it is a Tim Burton film. She's haunting with her long blonde locks and pale skin and eyebrows.

Michael Gambon as Baltus Van Tassel

Our dearest Dumbledore is almost unrecognizable...until he opens his mouth. There's no hiding that wizardy tenor.

Christopher Walken as the Headless Horseman

One of Hollywood's most famous voices playing an uncredited role with zero speaking parts. And yet, it's perfect.

Miranda Richardson as Lady Van Tassel

A role only slightly more ominous than her HP alter ego, Rita Skeeter.

Richard Griffiths as Magistrate Philipse

The fact that this movie came out in 1999 and the first Harry Potter movie didn't come out until 2001 makes this cast all the more delightful.

Couch-Sharing Capability: Summon Thy Significant Other

Husband, girlfriend, Tinder date - you're going to need someone you feel comfortable snuggling up to, because this movie offers up its fair share of spooks. Plus, it's got that whole post-colonial-New England-in-the-autumn thing that makes you want to get cozy under a plaid blanket while drinking cider. 

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Spiked Cider

Speaking of cider, pour a butt-load of whiskey into yours, because you're gonna need to be a little drunk to get past the fact that sentient leather dreamcatcher/poster child for Not Aging Well Johnny Depp stars in this one. This was my favorite movie in high school, when JD was at peak hotness and before I knew that he was a garbage human, so it requires a half cup of the hard stuff for me to enjoy it like I used to.

Use of Your Netflix Subscription: Halloween Prep

No one - I repeat, NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY SOUL - does non-horror Halloween like Tim Burton. If you want to get into the Halloween spirit (you do) but don't feel like watching another yawn-inducing slasher flick (you don't), Sleepy Hollow is the perfect combination of creepy crawly Halloween vibes and the aformentioned colonial-New England-autumnal vibes. It's, like, October in movie form.

BOOK REPORT for The May Queen Murders by Sarah Jude

Cover Story: Japanese Horror Movie
Drinking Buddy: Maaaaaybe....
Testosterone Estrogen Level: Elevated
Talky Talk: Snuggly October Read
Bonus Factor: Whodunit
Bromance Status: Alone Together

Cover Story: Japanese Horror Movie

This looks like a movie poster for a good Japanese Horror movie that's later going to get remade into a bad American slasher film. Great set up for the story, though I think it would have been scarier if her face was fully obscured.

The Deal:

Ivy Templeton lives in the remote Missouri Ozarks community of Rowan's Glen, an isolated little settlement of people who live simple lives. They're not Amish, they do have electricity and everything. They just like to live the old ways, like their Scottish ancestors before them. LONG before them. People are born, live, and die there, taking on the jobs of their parents. While the children attend the local schools and are distrusted by the townies, it's not a bad life.

Ivy is the daughter of the local veterinarian. A shy, stuttering girl, she still has caught the eye of Rook, the sheriff's boy. It's only a matter of time until he begins wooing her, and they can settle down and start another generation of Glen folks.

But all is not well. The town is planning on holding May Day celebrations again, complete with the crowning of a queen. But the old timers don't like this idea. You see, years ago on the first of May, Birch Markle escaped from the cellar. He found the May Queen. He did certain...things to her, and later, to her body.

Strange thing is, they never caught him. They say he's out there in the woods still, living an animal-like existence. If you listen at night, you can hear him out there, screaming in the dark.

And now, people say he's back. It starts with the occasional missing laundry or furtive figure. But then, things start to get scary. Something tries to break into Ivy's window. Dogs and livestock are mutilated. And then Heather, Ivy's cousin and best friend, vanishes. Has Birch Markle returned?

Drinking Buddy: Maaaaaybe....

At first, I couldn't tell if I was supposed to be freaked out by the Rowan's Glen community or not. Their mistrust of outsiders (Ivy's mother is Mexican-American, and has never been fully accepted. Not due to racism, but because she wasn't born there). Their weird ties to the old days. The way Ivy's grandmother lives in the attic and never speaks.

But they kind of grew on me. There's nothing wrong with being a happy hermit, and there's nothing wrong with sticking to your hometown. Provided your town doesn't have a horrible secret. Like all these literary small towns seem to.

Testosterone Estrogen Level: Elevated

Oh, there was more than one scene with Rook and Ivy out behind the barn. But this is obviously not a romance. This is a horror story.

This town has no phone service. No traffic in and out. Little communication with the outside world. They've been taught to stay out of the woods, to never go out at night.

So dark. So isolated. No one can hear you scream...

Talky Talk: Snugly October Read

This is a nice, creepy read for the chilly fall months, when you need something to curl up with after you family has gone to bed, and then the damn cat starts making noise in the basement...at least you're pretty sure it's the cat, but did you remember to lock the door? You should make sure. Just go downstairs, for pete's sake, there's nothing down there, you're a grown man...

This book did have one of my pet peeves, though. Ivy's mother, Luz, was born in Mexico. The author reminds us of this by dropping random high school Spanish words into her dialogue: We're working in the cocina. The señoras are planning a May Day celebration. You buena, Ivy?

When someone is learning a language, they stumble over unfamiliar words, not the ones they use every day.

Bonus Factor: Whodunit

So is Madman Markle really still alive in the woods after all these years? Why won't anyone call the state police? Are they hiding something that happened after the original murders? Why was Heather so interested in that townie, Milo? Why does Ivy's silent grandmother insist on casting warding spells on her family?

Just what is out there in the dark?

Bromance Status: Alone Together

I'll look you up, next time I feel safe and cozy...and don't want to.

FTC full disclosure: I received no money for writing this review, nor was I crowned Queen of May.

Previously, on Riverdale: Midge and Moose were shot at Lovers Lane, Archie fancies himself a gunslinger, Hiram Lodge is dangerous AF, and Betty Cooper saved the day all over Riverdale.

The Rundown

Miraculously, neither Moose nor Midge was killed by the lunatic firing into their car. Can't a couple of teens just make out in a car while high? Is nothing sacred in America anymore? Our killer seems to have a "moralistic" bent, revealed by a note that he sent to Mama Cooper to be published in tomorrow's paper. He sends along Fred's wallet and Creepy Grundy's heart-shaped glasses as proof of his identity.  Archie is unhappy with the lack of action from local police, Veronica is trying to get a handle on her father (good luck, Boo), Jughead is finding his place at Southside High, Cheryl is stirring the pot, and Kevin Keller breaks all of our hearts.

The Teens

Archie is becoming obsessed with keeping the town safe and forms a vigilante squad, because of course he does. 

LOLOL but why are they shirtless?? Ok, bros.

Let me stop hatin' on my favorite ginger. I know we always give Archie crap, but he did save Ethel from a random Murder Van following her home (WHY ARE YOU WALKING HOME ALONE IN THE DARK, ETHEL? Everyone on this show needs to start listening to My Favorite Murder, I swear to God.)

Awww. He's such a sweet kid. A bit naive, but sweet.

Jughead is settling in (if you can call it that) at the terrifying Southside High. He's approached by fellow Serpent, TONI TOPAZ (I squee more about her below), who shows him the ropes and tries to convince him that his Lone Wolf aesthetic won't do him any favors at Southside High. Jughead is determined to forever brood, and it's not until he's attacked by a rival gang member (or IS HE, because we never actually see who attacks him) that he finally sidles up to the Serpent's lunch table. He also convinces a teacher to start up The Red and Black again (Southside's defunct school paper), and Toni Topaz is ready and willing to be his ace photographer.

Cheryl is lonely, bored, and slightly evil so of course she inserts herself in the middle of Kevin and Betty's fight. STIR THAT POT, CHERYL.

Kevin and Moose have a really sad, touching scene at Moose's hospital bedside. Kevin's loneliness is palpable, and even though he and Moose have hooked up in the past I think that what they really need are other gay dudes to be friends with. I'm hoping that this can happen, especially for Kevin.

The Grownups

Parent MVP of the week goes to Sheriff Keller. He doesn't yell at Kevin (even though he was putting his life at risk in those woods), but instead acknowledges that he hasn't been there for Kevin in a way that lets his son know that his pain and loneliness don't go unnoticed:

Coopers gonna Coop, so Polly makes the (incredibly smart) choice to leave Riverdale while this zealot of a killer is on the loose. Unwed mother pregnant with her cousin's babies? She may as well have a target painted on her back. She leaves, only saying good-bye to Betty, while Mom and Pop Cooper take the killer's letter to the sheriff. Despite his pleas for preventing widespread panic, that letter is already going to press for tomorrow's front page.

Which leaves us with The Lodges. I could write SEVERAL paragraphs about the obvious mental/emotional abuse that Hermione has suffered/is suffering at the hands of her grody husband, but instead I will just acknowledge the dynamic shifts that have taken place since Hiram has returned home. Is Hermione trying to protect Veronica or is she trying to protect herself first? Did anyone else hiss when Hermoine told Veronica to stop being so thirsty for her dad's approval? WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO THEIR DAUGHTER? Part of me wants to believe that she's willing to alienate herself from Veronica if it means keeping her safe, but I can't be entirely sure. Hiram dangling Entry To His Study over Veronica like some kind of carrot is just super foul, and that portrait of her that he keeps above his desk made me gag a little. Veronica Lodge is NOT a demure little thing with her hands clasped in her lap, sir. She sure as hell is NOT.

The Clues

The killer had Fred's wallet and Grundy's glasses. so it's the same guy. But what about the creeper who yelled at Kevin to get into his car? Is he a red herring? And who the hell was in the van stalking Ethel? All we really know is that we know nothing. I'm ok with that, we've got, like, twenty more episodes to go.

Outfit MVP

Y'all, I am so excited for the debut of Toni Topaz. Let's just say that her new look is a serious upgrade from her original one:

In the current run of Archie, Toni is bisexual. I'm totally shipping her with Cheryl. #blosspaz

Poor Cheryl Kevin/A Fine Line

“You act like we’ve got the same set of options. You live in this pale pink world of milkshakes and first kisses, and “Am I going to date Archie or Jughead? Right! Right! Right! Except for when you’re exploring your BDSM sexuality, which again you’re allowed to do. But I’m not, because why? This is what I’ve got, Betty. Me, these woods, so please don’t come here and tell me it’s disgusting. If you can’t accept what I do, whatever I do then we’re just not really friends.”

What's Coming

Burning Questions

Are there any other eligible teenage gay boys in Riverdale? I can't stand seeing Kevin put himself at risk just to feel normal. <3

Hiram Lodge giving Archie a tumbler of rum: gross or super gross?

When will Dark Betty return? (Props to Cheryl for the reference.)

Is Hermione the ultimate Ride or Die wife, or is she just playing a part for her own safety (and Veronica's)?

WHY IS THE VIGILANTE SQUAD SHIRTLESS LOLOL

One of the other gangs at Southside High is called The Goolies, who have a direct connection to Sabrina in the comics; backdoor pilot, perhaps? Intensive googling provided the following:

Meredith, do you already own this??

I was so happy to see Kevin so get so much storytime this week, and as always it was a delight to see Cheryl as Riverdale's own Evil Queen. Come share your thoughts with me below! 

Ah yes, the Friday before Halloween when we're all searching for our productivity like ^^^. So here's a little something extra you can read while you pretend to work. Procrastination achievement: unlocked.

Book Related Things

Expand your TBR with 17 YA books by authors of colour coming out in the first half of 2018.

Buzzfeed lists 21 times Tumblr understood our obsession with YA books and it was spot. Freaking. On.

Need a last minute Halloween costume? PopSugar has a round up of 22 Literary Halloween Costumes!

Gayle Forman announced her new book with a Twitter GIF because she's awesome. Also: SQUEEE!

Catch these ebook deals before they're gone:

• The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin (review)
• The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord (review)
• Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer (review)
• The Iron King by Julie Kagawa (review)
• Girl on a Wire (review) and Girl in the Shadows by Gwenda Bond (review)
• Beneath the Shine by Sarah Fine (review)
• My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga
• Red Rising by Pierce Brown (review)
• Amy & Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson
• Girl Against the Universe by Paula Stokes (review)

Please note: FYA collects a small percentage of sales from these affiliate links. Thanks for your support!

YA Onscreen Things

This week on YA Onscreen, Jane the Virgin's Gina Rodriguez will produce a female-driven drama with the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend team, the new Punisher trailer, UnReal news, and more. Check the full post here.

A new Netflix series about an Old West town of only women? YES PLZ. AV Club's got the trailer.

John Cho representing for Asian male butts in cinema. #blessed #GiveUsJohnChoAsARomanticLeadYesterdayDammit

Kristen Bell and probably Rob Thomas are open to a Veronica Mars miniseries (which is more accurate than the "a new miniseries is 'going to happen'" that's in this headline).

Runaways now has a full length trailer!

Ryan Murphy new FX show Pose is making history with the largest cast of transgender actors to date. DON'T SCREW THIS UP, RYAN.

Social Media Things

A delightful little thread by Maggie Stiefvater on why, perhaps, adults enjoy reading YA.

Question. Folks who read my novels, how old are you?

— Maggie Stiefvater (@mstiefvater) October 21, 2017

As usual, Brooding YA Hero delivers the sickest burnz:

Adults: it's unfair adults in YA are portrayed as clueless
Also adults: write articles about "trends" in YA citing books over 5 years old.

— Brooding YA Hero (@broodingYAhero) October 19, 2017

LOLOLOL and also Thor: Ragnarok, we NEED you to be good. NEED.

@MargotRobbie Keep out of my closet, girl. https://t.co/qdLbbyeUq9

— Taika Waititi (@TaikaWaititi) October 26, 2017

Have you been following or participating in the FYA Photo-a-Day challenge? ::extreme cheerleader voice:: It's Not! Too! Late! To Parti! Ci! Pate!

Miscellaneous Things

Add a little FYA flair to your bedroom, back yard, cubicle, whatevs with these unicorn fairy lights. Martini glass and rainbow sold separately.

The first season of Serial Box's ReMADE is on sale before the second season starts Nov. 15, and there's a new ReMADE podcast!

Serve your friends dinner, or if you're a Slytherin, poison your enemies on these Hogwarts House dishes.

The NY Times is looking for a new travel journalist, so why not add your name to the applicant fray of 3100+ and counting?

Did we miss anything good? Give us more reasons to procrastinate the day away in the comments!