Amy Reed’s latest, The Nowhere Girls, is a no-holds-barred novel about three young misfits who band together to combat the rape culture in their town and get justice for all the assault victims who have gone without. (You can read my review of the book here.)

THE OFFICIAL WORD

Who are the Nowhere Girls?

They’re everygirl. But they start with just three:

Grace Salter is the new girl in town, whose family was run out of their former community after her southern Baptist preacher mom turned into a radical liberal after falling off a horse and bumping her head.

Rosina Suarez is the queer punk girl in a conservative Mexican immigrant family, who dreams of a life playing music instead of babysitting her gaggle of cousins and waitressing at her uncle’s restaurant.

Erin Delillo is obsessed with two things: marine biology and Star Trek: The Next Generation, but they aren’t enough to distract her from her suspicion that she may in fact be an android.

When Grace learns that Lucy Moynihan, the former occupant of her new home, was run out of town for having accused the popular guys at school of gang rape, she’s incensed that Lucy never had justice. For their own personal reasons, Rosina and Erin feel equally deeply about Lucy’s tragedy, so they form an anonymous group of girls at Prescott High to resist the sexist culture at their school, which includes boycotting sex of any kind with the male students.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Photo credit: Amy’s website

Amy Reed was born and raised in and around Seattle, where she attended a total of eight schools by the time she was eighteen. Constant moving taught her to be restless, and being an only child made her imagination do funny things. After a brief stint at Reed College (no relation), she moved to San Francisco and spent the next several years serving coffee and getting into trouble. She eventually graduated from film school, promptly decided she wanted nothing to do with filmmaking, returned to her original and impractical love of writing, and earned her MFA from New College of California. After thirteen years in the San Francisco Bay Area, she now resides in the mountains of western North Carolina with her husband, daughter, and dog.

ENTER THE GIVEAWAY

One lucky reader will win their very own copy of The Nowhere Girls.

To enter, leave a comment below with your thoughts on why you think groups like The Nowhere Girls are important, or a story about a time when you stood up for something you strongly believed in, even if you could have gotten (or did get) in trouble for it.

We’ll choose a winner at random next Friday, Nov. 3.

Per the publisher: Giveaway open to U.S. addresses only. Sorry non-U.S. friends!

Happy Halloween a bit early—may all your scary-book dreams come true. (Have you read any genuinely scary YA books lately? The last one I loved was Slasher Girls and Monster Boys in 2015.)

As always, feel free to chat about anything you like!

BOOK REPORT for Waste of Space by Gina Damico

Cover Story: Whack a Mole
Drinking Buddy: Tang and Vodka Screwdriver
Testosterone/Estrogen Level: Warp 3
Talky Talk: Scripted
Bonus Factor: Reality TV
Bromance Status: Off the Island

Cover Story: Whack a Mole

I like this cute cover, with the reality TV motif and the background of deep space. I don't know why cover designers think we need to be informed that we are holding a novel, though.

The Deal:

Chazz Young, producer at DV8 Television, has come up with the wildest, boldest idea for a reality TV show since Jack Ruby voted Lee Harvey off the island live on the air. Take ten teenagers, complete strangers, and force them to live in a cramped, though stylishly decorated, apartment--in outer space! How crazy is that? Who will become friends and who will become enemies as they fight for space and for oxygen? Will romance bloom in these close quarters as they battle rogue asteroids? And who will get voted out of the air lock? Stay tuned!

The idea sounds preposterous. And it is. The whole thing is actually filmed on a sound stage in New Mexico. The contenstants are told they're in space, but some of them suspect the truth. And while the ratings are good, new ideas grow old quickly, and Chazz keeps throwing wilder and more dangerous challenges at the stars. How long can they hold out?

Meanwhile, the science nerds he paid to design the 'space plane' are using their unlimited budget to perform some experiments of their own, on their ten captive human guinea pigs.

Eh, beats another season of The Voice.

Drinking Buddy: Tang and Vodka Screwdriver

Ten characters in a tiny spaceship designed by IKEA and Microsoft:

Nico: The Ecuadorian orphan

Titania: The shy outdoorsy girl

Clayton: The obnoxious producer's nephew

Jamarkus: The gay, African-American Eagle Scout

Louise: The nerdy, science fiction-obsessed girl

Bacardi: The drunk party girl

Snout: The farmboy (accompanied by his pet pig, Colonel Bacon)

Hibiscus: The activist musician

Matt: The disabled kid (He has nine fingers. He worked at the mall where they held auditions and they kind of kidnapped him)

Kaoru: The Japanese girl (She immediately finds proof that they are not really in space, but can't tell anyone, as she doesn't speak English)

Nico and Titania were the main characters, and were well-developed and likeable. Every other person in the book (except maybe Jamarkus and Kaoru) were absolutely one-dimensional stereotypes straight out of TV Tropes. This works on an actual reality show where the participants act out the role they've been assigned. However, this book included a lot of 'unseen footage.' When the cameras are off, every character is just as shallow and vacuous as they are on screen.

Testosterone/Estrogen Level: Warp 3

Nico and Titania bond over their family tragedies, and I kept waiting for a rendezvous in the confession booth (as did most of the viewers). However, that never went anywhere. As for the rest of the drama, we know everything is fake, so we're not exactly worried when the ship is hit by a solar flair or when Hibiscus gets thrown out of the airlock. Even when Chazz gets desperate for ratings and tries some pretty crazy stunts, I wasn't worried, as the guy was such a dip I knew nothing would come of it. I'd like to say that the author must think TV viewers must be pretty dim to swallow this tripe, but...I think she may have a point.

Talky Talk: Scripted

This book is presented as a series of transcripts, e-mails, and phone calls compiled by a whistle-blower after the show went off the air. I thought this was going to be a good opportunity to see the real side of the people on screen. But no, pretty much what you see is what you get. Hey, Snout's pig just shit on the floor! Hilarious! No, wait, it was Bacardi who shit on the floor! Even funnier!

Also, halfway through the book, everything takes a bizarre science fiction turn when the scientists rebel. The ending not only stretched my disbelief, but snapped it.

Talky Talk: Scripted

I'm old enough that I remember when MTV's The Real World was cutting edge. And the author does a good job of reminding us how reality TV is anything but, how the participants are more like actors, and how everyone has a role to play and a script to follow.

Bromance Status: Off the Island

You were funny, but I can't say we bonded or that I'll recommend you to a friend. Nothing personal.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received neither money (dollars or spacebucks) for writing this review.

Previously on Outlander: Newly reunited with her husband, Claire finds out that he lives in a brothel, and is a seditious printer and whiskey smuggler. Ian Murray Jr. arrives looking for his Uncle Jamie. Claire surprises a burglar in their brothel room and is attacked.

Claire fights off her rapey attacker, and nearly kills him, when he smashes his head into the fireplace. Because it’s Claire, she decides she has to try to save his life, despite Jamie’s opinion that they should let God sort it out. Madam Jeanine and Fergus show up at their door. A search of the stranger’s pocket identifies him as an exciseman. He’d been searching for Jamie’s ledgers, which tells them that their prior bribes for the authorities to look the other way on Jamie’s smuggling activities no longer seems to be effective. Claire sends Jeanine for some surgical implements, and Jamie sends Fergus to sell off the contraband liquor as quickly as possible, since the Crown is likely on the way.

Claire runs off to the apothecary for emergency supplies and encounters Archie Campbell whose sister has a nervous complaint that Claire agrees to go and treat later. Margaret Campbell turns out to be a raving lunatic, in between bouts of laudanum-induced catatonia. Archie claims Margaret is a seer, and he translates her visions for a modest fee. Claire gives him instructions for some tonics to use on Margaret for their upcoming voyage to the West Indies.

Sir Percival, the Crown’s agent, and the exciseman’s employer, comes to search the brothel, believing Jamie has been holding out on him. They search the premises, while Claire, with the assistance of Yi Tien Cho, performs some super rudimentary surgery on the exciseman, but fails to save him. Jamie doesn’t really feel too bad for the guy who tried to kill his wife, and stores the body in a cask of créme de menthe (hilariously, not realizing Young Ian had promised that particular brew to a buyer as a gift with purchase).

Claire and Jamie discuss their future, and she suggests setting up shop as a healer, to bring in some money, since, oddly enough, she’d rather not live in a brothel forever. The elder Ian Murray shows up, looking for his son, and is astonished and tearful to find Claire alive. Jamie asks Claire to go along with his lie to Ian that they haven’t seen Young Ian. The Murrays are worried because he ran away from home weeks before, and they haven’t heard from him. Later, Claire and Jamie fight about the ethics of Jamie lying to his family, versus the lies they continually tell about where Claire has been for the last 20 years. And Jamie is still being a judgey arse about Brianna’s bikini.

A man breaks into the print shop looking for the contraband while Young Ian is entertaining a pretty tavern wench. The man finds Jamie’s seditious pamphlets instead, and starts a fire while fighting off Ian. Ian manages to burn the man before the whole place catches on fire. Once they receive word of the fire, Jamie and Claire rush to the print shop, and Jamie just barely gets Ian out of the burning building in time. When Ian tells Jamie the man saw his pamphlets, they realize Sir Percival will now be able to link Jamie to smuggling and treason, and he could hang. They decide to head to Lallybroch to take Young Ian home, and evade the law. Jamie asks Fergus to send Ned Gowan to Lallybroch regarding that matter he inquired about. He’ll get around to explaining it to Claire at some point.

Kilt Drops: 1

I can see why they seem to have aged up Young Ian a bit. Better luck next time though, buddy.

P.S. I’m choosing not to count the live sex shows that seem to be constantly happening at the brothel. But, what is that about?

Wit and Wordplay

GIF via nordic-sassenach

“I’ve been wanting to gut a filthy exciseman for years.” Jamie’s henchmen are hardcore, and I love them.

“If Aunty Claire was forced to kill men, likely they deserved it.” Truth.

“Milady does not yet know about your other wife?” I share your appall, Fergus. 

Sasse-WHAT?

- GROSSSSSS, show. I really didn’t need to get that up close and personal with 18th century brain surgery.

- I’d cheerfully watch an entire hour of Fergus, the Lothario of Edinburgh, giving Young Ian all the tips. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

- Having read the book, I’m curious why they decided to make Archie Campbell manage his sister’s fortune-telling services instead of being a stiff and conservative reverend. 

- I get the feeling Jamie’s accusations about Claire loving Frank have more to do with his own guilty conscience. What do you think?

Next week: Claire and Jenny have a Lallybroch confrontation, and Claire finds out what Jamie’s been hiding from her. Spoiler: She’s kind of pissed.

Happy Halloween, witches and wizards! Thanks for joining me for a mystical YA Onscreen. It's been quite a spooky week--and not just because it was almost Halloween. Let's get on with the treats!

Did Adam Driver give away a key piece of The Last Jedi? (Probably not.)

Thor: Ragnarok had a great opening in 52% of the world, boasting an international take-home of $109 million. I'm trying not to raise my hopes too high, but they're making it difficult. 

Will The Greatest Showman usher in a new age of the original musical?

Zachary Levi has been cast as the title character in a comic book superhero movie called Shazam! I have zero understanding of what this is, and this article doesn't seem to have much confidence in this casting choice, but Zachary Levi is a national treasure and he can play charming or goofy or sing his heart out while dancing on Broadway with Laura freaking Benanti, so I have every confidence that he can pull off a...kid superhero named Shazam?

Clea Duvall has been cast as a certain handmaid's wife for season two of The Handmaid's Tale. 

I know last week we discussed what is coming to Netflix in November, but this one tells us what's arriving at Hulu and Amazon Prime, too; score.

The cast of Sabrina The Teenage Witch took some photos together, and it reminded me how much Melissa Joan Hart was my childhood (between this and Clarissa). 

Peaky Blinders season four is returning after a 17-month wait on November 15, but only for you lucky UK people for now.

First look at Odette Annable as the new baddie in Supergirl.

Chantal Thuy (you may have seen her on Pretty Little Liars) has been cast as a recurring love interest on Black Lightning for Anissa Pierce. 

So Stranger Things 2  came out this past weekend (I know you haven't heard about this AT ALL). Did anyone watch? I really liked it! The reviews were mostly positive and it's spawned what feels like dozens of articles picking apart every little moment. I think we need to change that maxim "If you love something, let it go" to "If you love something, obsess over it religiously on the internet until you begin to hate it". If you've already finished all nine episodes, here's 11 questions we still need answered; did you catch all the '80s references?; was that one character just a jerk or a racist jerk?; and an ode to positive male friendships like Mike and Will's. 

The CW bought a dramedy from Black-ish writer Devanshi Patel about an Indian-American woman cracking under the pressure of her traditional family while simulaneously trying to clear her name in her ex-fiance's death. Intriguing. 

It was Harrison Ford who (lightly) pressured Mark Hamill to sign on to the latest Star Wars movies. 

First look at Love, Simon! Don't they all look adorable.

That's all for the week! Did you dress up today? Did you see Gwyneth's awesome costume? Just when she gets all GOOP'd up she does something like this and reminds us why we sorta liked her once. 

BOOK REPORT for The Gatekeepers by Jen Lancaster

Cover Story: Sir Mix-a-Lot
BFF Charm: Bertie Bott's Every Flavor
Swoonworthy Scale: 5
Talky Talk: He Said, She Said (and He Said, and She Said)
Anti-Bonus Factor: Patty Chase Award for Awful Parenting
Relationship Status: Just Friends

Get to know five teens just trying to survive in the super high stakes world of North Shore High School. Find out more at our series on Kirkus!

BOOK REPORT for Rosemarked (Rosemarked #1) by Livia Blackburne

Cover Story: Watercolor
BFF Charm: Yay and Confused
Swoonworthy Scale: 5
Talky Talk: Historical Fantasy Science Fiction Science Fantasy
Factor: Series Starter
Relationship Status: Friends … For Now

Cover Story: Watercolor

This cover is very pretty, and the watercolor was an inspired choice for art, given that the disease in the book leaves rose-colored discolorations on people’s bodies. But the formal title treatment throws me off, especially with the handwritten, casual nature of the rest of the text. I might have gone with a softer, more flowing font. But that’s just me being pedantic.

The Deal:

Since she was very young, Zivah has wanted nothing more than to become a healer and help her people. Soon after she achieves the official title, however, a group of soldiers from the occupying Amparan Empire in her village take ill with the dreaded rose plague. Zivah thinks she’s taken all the proper precautions while tending to her patients, but she comes down with the illness anyway. She survives, but isn’t one of the lucky few who come out the other side both cured of and immune to the disease. Instead, she’s Rosemarked, and thus becomes a pariah, forced to live alone and outside of society.

When the opportunity to travel to a Rosemarked compound and actually practice her healing skills comes up, Zivah is excited, but hesitant—especially when she learns of the other, much less benevolent opportunity traveling to the city of her people’s oppressors brings.

BFF Charm: Yay and Confused

Rose plague be damned, Zivah’s a kickass young woman with a heart of solid gold. She’s passionate about the healing arts, and educating herself on the best ways to make her people better. And even after her dire prognosis—the Rosemarked are doomed to eventually succumb to the illness, but the timetable is different for each individual—she works tirelessly, even experimenting on herself, to find a cure. I’d love to be her friend. But I might have to avoid hugs.

Zivah travels to the heart of the Amparan Empire with Dineas, a warrior of the rebellion against the empire’s rule. Dineas is a stubborn, hard-hearted young man, thanks to his years of tough living and being constantly on the run/under the threat of death. During their time in the city, readers get a glimpse at the man Dineas could have been had he led a different life, but that’s not really the true him. And because of these two very different sides of his personality, it’s hard to really decide whether or not I’d like to be his friend.

Swoonworthy Scale: 5

Zivah and Dineas have chemistry, there’s no denying that. But the situation they find themselves in is—no spoilers—a super unusual one, and it makes it hard for the swoon to fully engage.

Talky Talk: Historical Fantasy Science Fiction Science Fantasy

Rosemarked reads like a historical fiction novel, only it’s set in a totally different world. Aside from that fact, the fantastical elements are few; the “magic” in the book is actually science. Blackburne has a background in neuroscience, so I feel more secure in the fact that the science is actually possible, too. In that sense, the book was almost more science fiction than fantasy … but I’ve always struggled with making that distinction with books that walk the line.

There wasn’t much in the way of worldbuilding in Rosemarked, but the story didn’t suffer too much from it. Having read a lot of fantasies in which empires take over people with fewer military resources and some of those people decide to fight back, it wasn’t hard to get a grasp of what was happening in the book. Additionally, Blackburne’s characters were engaging, but not totally enthralling. I would have liked a little more from both the worldbuilding and characters’ personalities.

Factor: Series Starter

I don’t know how many additional books are planned for this series, but I do know that there’s a second slated to come out at some point next year. Which is good, because I would like to have some resolution to Zivah and Dineas’ story. Rosemarked didn’t end on a cliffhanger, but it’s certainly not finished.

Relationship Status: Friends … For Now

I enjoyed our date, Book. You’re interesting and charming, but I didn’t quite feel a spark. There’s room for improvement, though, so I’m totally game to meet up again and see what happens.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Disney-Hyperion, but got neither a private dance party with Tom Hiddleston nor money in exchange for this review. Rosemarked will be available Nov. 7.

Title: Sliding Doors
Year: 1998
Fix: Alternate Timelines, Romantic Comedies, Getting Over A Cheating Ex, '90s Nostalgia  
Platforms: Amazon Prime

Platform Summary:

Young Helen is fired from her job at a PR company, and when the sliding doors of the tube car close on her, we start to see what would have happened if she'd made the train, and if she hadn't.

FYA Summary:

Helen’s story splits into a parallel universe “this or that” narrative when she makes the train and finds her boyfriend shagging his old girlfriend, or, alternatively, misses the train and gets mugged on her way home (giving The Other Woman time to sneak out). If you ever wanted to hear Gwyneth Paltrow do a British accent, or just want to go back to a time when you liked her before she became the insufferable Goop, this is the movie for you.

Familiar Faces:

Gwyneth Paltrow as Helen

Gwyneth is perfect as the newly fired Helen who’s suddenly knocked down a peg or two and has to reevaluate her entire life. This is really the most I have ever enjoyed Paltrow. She does some delightful British swearing, which, incidentally, introduced eleven-year-old me to the wonders of the words “wanker” and “bollocks”.

John Hannah as James

James is a man on the train Helen meets in one timeline (two guesses as to which), and John is oh-so-charming and oh-so-Scottish in this role. He’s best known to me for, well, this movie and The Mummy, where he played the bumbling brother of Rachel Weisz, but his filmography is quite extensive. Most recently he’s been in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and looks like he’ll be in the remake of Overboard, which no one asked for. #stopunnecessaryremakes

Jeanne Tripplehorn as Lydia

Because this was the only thing I knew Jeanne from when I was younger, I had an irrational dislike of her, as she is quite shameless and bitchy as Lydia. But after seeing her in Big Love, I have a new respect for her. Side note: I just got really confused looking at her IMDB page because I could have sworn she was on the TV show Once and Again, but apparently that is Sela Ward. Oops! In my defense, they do look very similar!

John Lynch as Jerry

Jerry is Helen’s weasel boyfriend and John Lynch plays him perfectly because I can’t stand his face in this movie. I thought I hadn’t seen him in anything else, but apparently he is in The Fall with Jamie Dornan and Gillian Anderson. Hmm.

Couch-Sharing Capability: High

Feel free to watch this with your girlfriends so you can all speculate which storyline is better and discuss what you would do to your boyfriend should you find him cheating on you. Or it’s also a good movie to watch alone if you feel like rewatching it for the zillionth time and muttering along with Gwyneth as she grumbles, “Bollocks to him, bollocks to him” like me.

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Low

Because there are split stories happening at the same time, you may get confused if you imbibe too deeply. Gwynnie helpfully cuts her hair for one storyline so you can tell them apart, but everyone else looks the same. I’d crack open a bottle of wine and drink a glass or two, but leave it at that.

Use of Your Streaming Subscription: Excellent

If you couldn’t already tell, I’ve watched this movie multiple times over the last almost twenty years: I stumbled upon it in the middle of the night back when we had a free trial of Showtime and sat in the basement so my parents wouldn’t know I was watching grown-up movies. It’s the perfect late ‘90s “chick flick” that they just don’t seem to make anymore (instead we’re getting schlock like Fun Mom Dinner—what the effing what, Hollywood?) but it’s got a lot of heart and humor and the adorable John Hannah. If you’re not sure you can get past your dislike of Paltrow to watch this, then just pretend that this is Gwyneth’s estranged British twin sister and all will be well.

Welcome back to Totally Lit Parties, a feature in which Corrie shows you how to throw YA-themed parties!

Wonder Woman: Warbringer has everything I love: women being awesome while supporting one another, action, adventure, and possibly a little romance. At a time when it sometimes feels very difficult to be a woman, it’s perfect to throw a party that reminds you just how amazing women can be.

Invitations

I wanted my invites to mimic Diana’s lasso, so I made a scytale cipher. Wrap gold ribbon around a small bottle and write out your message, one letter per wrap. When unwrapped, the message becomes encoded and unreadable. I put the ribbon in the bottle so everyone would have the proper size item to wrap the ribbon around to reveal the code. Bonus: the bottles can be used for a craft at the party.

What to Wear

When I was reading this book, all I wanted was to have Nim as my stylist. She’s got an eye for fashion and isn’t afraid to try something bold.

She wore open-toed boots that laced up to her dimpled knees and a smock dress that sparkled. The side of her head was shaved and the rest of her hair fell forward in a slick black sheaf that flopped over one eye. The other eye was black as jet and rimmed with gold, her visible ear was studded with silver and gems all the way from lobe to top.

If Nim’s a little too fashion forward for you, look to the women of Themyscira for inspiration instead.

[Tekmessa had] jewels glinting in her thick corona of curls, silver band flashing on her brown arms. [...] carried herself as if her belted indigo shift were battle armor.

Activities

•  Stormy Ocean: Diana saves Alia from the ocean after an explosion on the research ship she was on. Replicate that storm (and the quiet calm once all is well) with a cool glitter bottle. (If you have kids, you might recognize this as a calm down or timeout bottle.) Mix 3 parts hot water to 1 part clear glue, and add glitter to your liking. Glitter glue can also be used, but additional glitter will probably be necessary to achieve the desired result.

•  Bug Out Bag: Jason might be paranoid, but his preparedness makes it easy for Alia and Diana to hide in a dingy motel to figure out what to do. And while Jason has specific ideas about what is necessary, Alia does too, in the form of a drug store raid. Stock up for a sleepover like Alia and Diana by going to the corner drug store and picking out your must-haves for a night on the run (though maybe skip spending the night in a dingy motel).

•  Science Museum: The action really takes off when the gang is at a gala being held at a science museum. Check out a local museum and think about how you might survive a sudden attack (while enjoying the exhibits, of course). Extra credit: attend an off-hours special event hosted by your museum.

•  Battle Ready: Nim makes the excellent point that the right outfit is like armor. Head out to the local department store, and try on evening gowns to find your ideal special event armor, business attire for your work armor, or any other event where your clothing can be both fashion and function.

•  Crochet: Nim uses Diana’s lasso to make a crochet capelet. Make one of your own with some chunky yarn and your fingers. Everyone can bring their own yarn and then learn how to finger crochet using this tutorial. You’ll all be stylish in no time!

•  Crowning Glory: When her day started, all Diana wanted was to win a foot race and receive a laurel crown. Making your own crown is pretty simple (instructions here). While you wait for the paint to dry, play a game of Truth or Dare; after all, a laurel crown is “better than any royal circlet or tiara – an honor that couldn’t be given, that had to be earned.”

•  Laser Tag: An unexpected unwelcome interference at the gala forces the group to fight and run for their lives. Make your own daring escapes and fight enemies in a game of laser tag or paintball.

•  Run a Race: The weather is turning crisp, which, according to my friends that run, makes for perfect running weather. Participate in a 5K, or just run around a park together. Bonus points: find a fun themed race to participate in – pumpkin runs, color dashes, hot chocolate fun runs, etc.

•  Feature Film: Celebrate Diana Prince onscreen by heading out to see her in Justice League (November 17) or renting Wonder Woman.

Tasty Business and Boozy Beverages

Adventure doesn’t leave a lot of time for good food and drink. However, at the start of the book there is a feast that included “warm bread, heaps of poached cuttlefish, grilled strips of venison, and pitchers of wine and mare’s milk.” Diana also has fresh honeycomb that she can’t bring herself to eat. Your party can mimic this feast, or you can do something more in line with the drug store haul which included “the finest of gummy bears and the fiercest of Doritos” in addition to other candy and chips and soft drinks.

Keep your drinks simple: serve wine with your Amazon feast or add your favorite mixer to your soft drink. But, for an added bit of fun, add a little champagne to honor Theo at the gala.

Do you have any other Wonder Woman: Warbringer-themed party ideas? Let us know in the comments!

Corrie Golando lives in Lafayette, IN, with her husband and two greyhounds.  She spent 10 years as a middle school/high school English teacher, and her students gave her a love for all things YA.  When she's not working at the high school library, she is writing fanfiction and doing something crafty.  She has a love of all things coated in glitter, much to her husband's horror.

Previously, on Riverdale: Toni Topaz schools Jughead on how to survive at Southside High, Archie convinces the football team to become shirtless vigilantes, and we all shed a single tear for lonely Kevin Keller.

The Rundown

Riverdale is shook, Betty gets a letter AND a cipher from The Black Hood, Mayor McCoy holds a town hall, Archie continues his descent into vigilante justice, Kevin is back on Tinder and done with cruising, Hiram Lodge doesn't know how NOT to be a liar, and Veronica supports Archie in her own way but comes to regret it after the Serpents and the Bulldogs go at it in the rain, West Side Story style; Dilton is stabbed, and the rumble (that's right, I called it a rumble) is stopped when Veronica shoots Archie's gun into the air, scattering the idiot boys.

I named this Meathead_Reggie.gif.

The Teens

Archie is determined to make The Red Circle a thing despite Weatherbee kicking him and the entire football team off of, well, the football team. He goes to the Southside at night, alone, spray-painting his mark, trying to lure out The Black Hood, but instead is confronted by Sweet Pea and some of the Serpents. Archie pulls a gun on Sweet Pea, the Serpents bolt, and Archie's adrenaline spike crashes right into his PTSD.

Betty is blaming herself for "inspiring" The Black Hood, but Kevin and Jughead are both there to tell her that's nonsense. She keeps the letter to herself, only giving the cipher to her mother and the sheriff. She holds a cipher-deciphering party (which honestly? sounds awesome if lives weren't at stake) with Jug, Kevin, and Toni, and Toni loses all patience with Betty after she suggests that all clues lead to it being a Southsider. 

*pot-stirring noises*

Veronica tries to get her father to confess to inspiring Archie's redecication to vigilantism, but of course Hiram gaslights and dismisses her. I really hate Hiram Lodge.

Not-Having-Any-Of-Your-Nonsense Veronica is my favorite Veronica.

The Grownups

Alice Cooper is all over the place, especially since Polly left home with Betty's help. Hermione tries to warn Veronica about being blindly loyal to Archie, Fred tells Archie that he's terrified for him, and he is also the lone voice of reason at the Town Hall. 

Preach it, Brother Fred!

The Clues

The cipher ended up being from a Nancy Drew activity book that Betty checked out of the library repeatedly as a kid. OMG IS THE BLACK HOOD A LIBRARIAN (lol jk). We DO know that he was at the previous Town Hall at the end of last season because that's where he heard Betty speak, which means that the killer is from the Northside. AND WHAT ABOUT THAT PHONE CALL TO BETTY??

Outfit Hair MVP

*heart-eyes forever*

A Fine Line

"Maybe if you loosened up that ponytail a bit..."

"BETTY'S PONYTAIL IS ICONIC AND BEYOND REPROACH."

Jughead's response is all of us:

What's Coming

Burning Questions

Why was Mr. Weatherbee initially supportive of The Red Circle, but now he's a hater?

Is it possible that Hal Cooper has an evil twin? That's my guess for The Black Hood at this time.

Was it really a serpent that stabbed Dilton Doiley? It was hard to tell in the chaos and the rain.

Will a longer season mean that they're going to drag out this plotline for another nineteen episodes? That's going to be a nope from me, writers. I'm hoping for a 2a and 2b format.

I felt kind of let down this week, y'all. Without Kevin, Toni, and Jughead this episode would've fell flat. Come share your thoughts with me below! 

Let’s hear it for Fridays, amirite? And some links that help the day go a little faster.

Book-Related Things

HRH Rainbow Rowell and Faith Erin Hicks (The Nameless City) are working on a new graphic novel called Pumpkinhead.

EW brought us news on the romance novel from Jane the Virgin that’s actually getting published. (h/t to commenter Megan!)

Tegan and Sara will cameo in upcoming Archie comics.

Check out how these 21 YA authors describe their first drafts in one sentence. I particularly enjoy Patrick Ness’ take:

“The first draft is a secret that no one ever needs to see, but it leads to the second draft, where the book really begins.”

Black Poetry Day was October 17; here's a list of YA verse novels written by Black authors.

"If Leigh Bardugo Is Starting A Cult, Sign Me Up.”

Here are a couple of cover reveals:

- Not the Girls You’re Looking For by Aminah Mae Safi
- Run, Hide, Fight Back by April Henry

And here are some great e-book deals*:

- The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin (FYA Review)
- Girl on a Wire (FYA Review) and Girl in the Shadows by Gwenda Bond (FYA Review)
- Beneath the Shine by Sarah Fine (FYA Review)
- Red Rising (Red Rising #1) by Pierce Brown (FYA Review)

*FYA collects a small percentage of sales from these affiliate links. Thanks for your support!

YA Onscreen Things

ICYMI, this week on YA Onscreen: The cast of Sabrina the Teenage Witch reunited and they’re as adorable as ever, Clea Duvall’s joined the second season of The Handmaid’s Tale, and a first look at Love, Simon, among other good news.

The movie adaptation of Crazy Rich Asians will hit theaters Aug. 17, 2018. Also, the movie’s EW cover is perfection.

The cast of the upcoming live-action (?) version of The Lion King is AMAZING.

An oral history of the 1997 Cinderella adaptation.

Tessa Thompson, Scarlett Johansson, and Zoe Saldana want to do an all-lady Marvel superhero film. HERE. FOR. IT.

Social Media Things

Maggie Stiefvater shared a story about how piracy affects publishing. (I feel like this is a giant DUH moment, but I guess it’s not?)

I've decided to tell the internet a story about piracy.https://t.co/fRPNhB0LUY pic.twitter.com/80ay9LpIXh

— Maggie Stiefvater (@mstiefvater) October 30, 2017

The Stranger Things kids are THE CUTEST and I’m going to adopt all of them.

And guys. Can we talk about Steve Harrington?

the moms of stranger things season 2 pic.twitter.com/CM5oSFF1JH

— Stranger Things (@itsSTquotes) November 2, 2017

Miscellaneous Things

Did y'all see Corrie's Wonder Woman: Warbringer Totally Lit Parties post? Someone host one and invite me, please and thank you.

Funko’s releasing POPs for the graphic novel series Saga—no lying!—and the severely underrated The Emperor’s New Groove.

These bearded dudes posed for a mermaid calendar.

“Inside The Great Poop Emoji Feud.”

The print edition of Teen Vogue is no more. :(

Out of Print just released some new enamel pins. (Friendly reminder that you can get an FYA Drunk Unicorn enamel pin, too!)
 

Feel free to add your fave news of the week in the comments!

Halloween is officially behind us. Did you dress up? If so, share your costumes in the comments!

As always, feel free to chat about whatever you like!

BOOK REPORT for Literally by Lucy Keating

Cover Story: Word
Drinking Buddy: Double-half-caf-half-decaf-soy milk cappuccino
Testosterone Estrogen Level: Scripted
Talky Talk: Not a Bad Idea
Bonus Factor: Author Cameo
Bromance Status: Imaginary Friend

Cover Story: Word

Cute idea, almost too adorable. I nearly went blind trying to read the words, though.

The Deal:

Annabelle is a hard-working, driven high school student from Venice Beach California. She's never had a serious boyfriend until, halfway through her senior year, Will moves to town. Handsome, cool, and fun loving, he almost immediately sweeps Annabelle off her feet. Not like Elliot, her brother's obnoxious friend, with his mocking nicknames, scruffy looks, and musical talent. Not at all.

But something is not right. Famous YA author Lucy Keating (the actual author of this book) visits her class and talks about her new book, about a girl named Annabelle, her new boyfriend Will, her dog Napoleon, and...well, everything in Annabelle's life. And she freely admits that Annabelle is a character. One whom Lucy created. And everything in Annabelle's life, from her relationship with Will to her parents' unexpected separation, is nothing more than a bunch of plot devices.

How do you control your own life, when someone else is writing it?

Drinking Buddy: Double-half-caf-half-decaf-soy milk cappuccino

I liked the characters, in the sense that I didn't dislike them. It's just they were pretty wooden stock characters. The lonely smart girl, the too-good-to-be-true guy, the sexy bad boy. You know. Whatever.

Testosterone Estrogen Level: Scripted

Typical romantic triangle, the guy who she should like vs. the guy she shouldn't like but still does. However, everything seemed very forced. Of course it does. Lucy Keating is pulling the strings. Every time Annabelle thinks she might have feelings for Elliot, who she's known forever, Will comes by with his hipster food and fun plans and perfect taste in music. Or Elliot has unexpected car trouble and can't make it. Or gets knocked out by a flying drumstick.

Yes, this is all the 'author's' doing, trying to make Annabelle wind up with the book's hero rather than go off script. However, it was kind of hard to distinguish between what the author and the 'author' were writing. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between the book's premise and just sloppy writing.

Talky Talk: Not a Bad Idea

Okay, this was kind of a cool idea. What if you found out your life was literally being controlled by someone? Not God, not a deity, but a caffeine-swilling author with a deadline and a penchant for romantic triangles? This is never ambiguous in the book, Lucy Keating frequently leaves Annabelle notes on her personal author stationary warning her to follow the plot outline. The sudden failure of her parents' seemingly-strong marriage? That's a subplot. And she's going to end up with Will, the author's pet, no matter how strong her feelings for Elliot are.

The thing is, Annabelle only seems to look at this situation in terms of her romantic problems. She just realized that she, and everyone she knows, doesn't technically exist. Could she go full on Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, living a life with no consequence? Does she even have a soul? When she finally kisses Will, will they fade to the 'also by this author' page and blink out of existence?

No, Annabelle only seems to only be concerned about how Lucy is interfering with her love life.

Bonus Factor: Author Cameo

It's great when an author succeeds in flawlessly placing themselves in their own book. That book is is Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut. Usually, when an author like Clive Cussler or Brian Katcher (yes, I'm guilty) throws in an author avatar, it seems like a gimmic, or plain ego.

Unfortunately, that's how it comes off in this book. By modeling the fictional author after herself (name, appearance, and biography), everything seems too cutesy and meta. I would have liked this a lot more with a fictional author.

Bromance Status: Imaginary Friend

All novels are about fictional people, but this was a fictional character in a fictional world starring a real-life author. Not for me.

FTC full disclosure: I received neither money nor Hawaiian poke for writing this review.

Previously on Outlander: Jamie escaped Ardsmuir after they got word of lost gold meant for the Stuart Rebellion. Ian Murray learned Claire was alive. Jamie secretly harbored Young Ian in Edinburgh. Claire killed an exciseman. Sir Percival’s man learned of Jamie’s treason, and the print shop burned down.

Jamie and Claire return Young Ian to Lallybroch where Jenny and Claire have a super awkward reunion. Jenny is obviously emotional to see her again, but isn’t really happy about it, now judging her harshly for not searching for Jamie after Culloden. The Murrays are also not thrilled to learn that Jamie lied about Young Ian being with him (and all the drama that goes along with that). Jenny also privately reems Jamie for being a bigamist. Jamie suggests to Claire that they could build a house on the Fraser land, but Claire thinks it’s a bad idea when Jenny can’t stand the sight of her.

Jamie tells Claire of his escape from Ardsmuir, when he searched for her, because he heard the treasure was guarded by a white witch. We find out he really did find a treasure hidden on the isle, but only took one jewel, that he later gave to John Grey. He explains that he went back, because the men of the prison needed him. Just as Jamie is about to finally tell Claire about his legal entanglements, Laoghaire and her daughters burst in, shocking Claire with the news that he’s married, to Laoghaire of all people, and stepfather to her girls. Jamie explains that he’s only been married to Laoghaire for two years, and they haven’t lived together most of that time. But Claire is still ready to leave him. They have a pretty epic fight, which then turns into explicit sex, because it’s them. Jenny has to literally douse them in cold water to bring them to their senses. Claire finds out that Jenny is the one who sent word to Laoghaire, and they finally have it out. Jenny believes some of her story, but doesn’t think she can ever trust her again. Luckily, they later somewhat tearfully reconcile.

As Jamie is trying to talk Claire out of leaving him, Laoghaire shows up with a pistol, and while waving it around histrionically, accidentally shoots him. Claire gets to do what she does best, and dig some bullets out of his shoulder. Once he wakes up, he tells Claire the story of how lonely and sad he was when came back from Helwater, when he ended up meeting Laoghaire again, at a holiday party. He loved being a father to the girls, but Laoghaire was clearly afraid of him in bed, and he couldn’t bear it, and moved to Edinburgh. After he tells her the story, she realizes he’s burning up with fever, and promptly shoots him full of some smuggled penicillin.

Ned Gowan comes to consult on the bigamy situation. Since Jamie was married to Claire first, his marriage to Laoghaire isn’t legal, of course. But he does owe reparations to the church, and alimony to her. It’s a huge sum, and Jamie decides to use the Selkie Island treasure to alleviate the pressure. But since he can’t swim with the gunshot wound, Young Ian volunteers to go along to do the swimming. Immediately after promising to do a better job protecting Ian this time, Jamie and Claire argue while he swims to Selkie Island, to fetch the treasure, where he is promptly kidnapped by freaking PIRATES. Can you even?

Kilt Drops: ½

We get that Jamie and Claire are supposed to be really passionate people, especially about eachother. But this scene in the books always squicked me the hell out. Have some pride, you two.

Wit and Wordplay

GIF via costumeperiod

“You had my son selling liquor and consorting with criminals?” I mean, to be fair, his uncle is a criminal

“Go back to the hell you came from!” Not a bad suggestion at this point.

“And now you’re back no more than a week and you’ve killed a man, his print shop is razed, and he’s on the run from the law.”

“Whiskey’s a liquid, no?” I’m with Jamie.

“If there’s a pot of shite on to boil, you stir it, like it’s God’s work.” Props to Ian Murrary for the most amazing insult I’ve ever heard.

Sasse-WHAT?

- How is possible that Laoghaire is even worse than she used to be? You know, back when she tried to have Claire burned as a witch.

- Jamie accusing Claire of leaving him was pretty low, wasn’t it? He hardly gave her a choice in the matter. I don’t know if I ever realized how he’s kind of a baby when cornered.

- If it weren’t for this series having eleventy books, would you be wondering how long it takes before Claire’s medical bag of tricks from the future gets her burned at the stake?

- I miss Fergus.

Next week: Pirates. Jamaica. More kidnapping.

Thanks for joining me for this week's YA Onscreen. Let's jump right in: 

In "who asked for this?" news, Amazon is thinking about a TV series of Lord of the Rings. Now, listen, I loved those movies like Gollum loved the One Ring, but this article at Book Riot perfectly encapsulates why I don't need to see this done AGAIN. 

Who else is excited for Fify Shades Freed to come out just so we never have to (hopefully) hear the words Christian Gray again? Show of hands? Check out the trailer:

Netflix is adapting Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House as a ten-episode miniseries, release date unknown. It's going to star Michael Huisman, Elizabeth Reaser, Carla Gugino, Timothy Hutton, and more. I'm always up for a creepy story!

If you watched Rugrats as a child, I bet you never thought about how old their parents were. This author did some digging and was shocked to realize they were all in their early thirties. That honestly seems about right, to me, if not a bit surprising that they weren't younger, considering it feels more like a recent trend to delay having children until your thirties. 

Sean Astin thinks the possibility of an eventual sequel to The Goonies is high. 

Let's collectively roll our eyes at certain Hollywood idiots who suggested the movie Crazy Rich Asians needed a white protagonist instead of an Asian one, because heaven forbid a white person not be lead in a movie (why would you not want the delightful Constance Wu as your lead?).

A super serious, super scientific ranking of all the shirtless scenes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. (Do you agree with the findings, readers?)

Who saw Thor: Ragnarok this weekend? It was extremely entertaining! Here's some info on how they finagled those secret cameos during that especially hilarious scene (you know the one).

Seven new clips from the Justice League movie.

I found this clip of Jennifer Lawrence quizzing people on the street about her movies on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to be very amusing:

Wentworth Miller is leaving DC's Legends of Tomorrow and The Flash.

The Mindy Project is ending soon, so Mindy Kaling is already on the hunt for her next project, and rumors are hinting it will be a TV adaptation of Four Weddings and a Funeral on Hulu.

The final trailer for Disney and Pixar's latest, Coco, is out, and this movie looks really cute and SO pretty and colorful:

Netflix's Alias Grace came out a few days ago and the buzz has been positive. Have you watched it yet?

Watch the trailer for the second season of The Crown, premiering on Netflix on December 8:

That's all for the week! Let us know what we missed below.

BOOK REPORT for These Violent Delights by Victoria Namkung

Cover Story: A Rose By Any Other Name
BFF Charm: Let Me Love You x2
Swoonworthy Scale: -100 x Yuck
Talky Talk: Spotlight-Lite
Bonus Factors: Healing
Anti-Bonus Factors: Online Trolls, Awful Grownups
Relationship Status: Advocate

Trigger Warning: This book contains depictions of suicide and descriptions of sexual abuse of teenaged minors. Please tread carefully if you are sensitive on these topics.

A story of how one brave woman speaking out can be the start to stopping a predator in his tracks. Find out more at our series on Kirkus!

BOOK REPORT for Godsgrave (The Nevernight Chronicle #2) by Jay Kristoff

Cover Story: Pretty Deadly
BFF Charm: Natalie Imbruglia
Swoonworthy Scale: 8
Talky Talk: Puts the A in YA
Bonus Factors: Footnotes, Redemption, Gladiators
Anti-Bonus Factor: Slavery
Relationship Status: Friends?

Danger, Will Robinson! Godsgrave is the second book in the Nevernight Chronicle. If you have not read the first book in the series—Nevernight—turn away now to avoid possible spoilers. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. If you’re caught up with the series, however, feel free to continue below.

Cover Story: Pretty Deadly

This cover is … fine. It does the job well of making people aware that this is a book about a powerful woman. And the use of the color red in an otherwise muted palette packs a punch.

But after seeing the UK cover of Nevernight—and subsequently the UK version of Godsgrave—it just doesn’t compare. The UK versions are the kind of novels I will make room on my shelves to face out, and y’all know that kind of placement is reserved for the truly deserving.

The Deal:

Becoming a Blade of Our Lady of Blessed Murder wasn’t without its difficulties, but Mia worked hard to make herself an invaluable asset to the Red Church, even with that little hiccup of humanity at the end. And in her time since becoming an official blade, she’s done more than her fair share of the Church’s dirty work. But the new career isn’t leading her quite in the direction she wants it to take her, and she’s not getting any closer to her quest for vengeance against the people who destroyed her family.

So when she learns of an opportunity that will help her get close to both Consul Scaeva and Cardinal Duomo at the same time, she takes it—even if it means going against the will of the Church, relying on an enemy, and risking her life by becoming a gladiator.

Because nothing will stand in Mia’s way … except for maybe Mia herself.

BFF Charm: Natalie Imbruglia

When I first met Mia in Nevernight, I was confused as to whether I’d like to be her friend. After spending more time with her in Godsgrave, I’m not exactly confused any longer, but there are still as many checkmarks in the cons column as their are in the pros. Pros: She’s vicious and deadly and would have my back in a fight. Cons: She’s vicious and deadly and has severe tunnel vision on that whole vengeance plot thing, which makes me feel like I can’t truly trust her. But I think I’m willing to take the chance.

Maybe.

Swoonworthy Scale: 8

Like in Nevernight, the swoonworthy scale of Godsgrave is thrown off a little by Mia’s unwillingness to let herself get involved with another person unless it’s for personal gain (or a job) and the fact that there are graphic (albeit hot) sex scenes. There’s a huge battle waging between the heart and the pants in this book. Thankfully, Mia does make some strides in the not being totally aloof when it comes to her lovers, which ups the actual swoon factor quite a bit. She also is more true to herself about what she really wants in a relationship, and that’s lovely to read about. #vagueonpurpose

Talky Talk: Puts the A in YA

In addition to the graphic sex scenes, Godsgrave is overflowing with blood. From the blood pools of the Red Church—which would have me singing the praises of being stuck on board a smelly ship for a multi-week-long ocean voyage—to Mia’s day job to the gladiatorial matches, most of which are fought to the last man or woman (barely) standing. This book isn’t for the faint of heart, nor the young of eyes.

But, once again, even with the gore, Kristoff has written a compelling tale filled with fascinating characters set in world so unlike our own that it’s sometimes hard to fathom, and yet there are moments of familiarity that keep readers fully engaged. Godsgrave also features hints of the explosive events to come in the final book in the series, which keeps it from falling prey to the dreaded Bridge Book Blues. (Because, to be honest, although there’s a lot of action in the book, it’s not until the very end that the larger plot really gets moving.)

Bonus Factor: Footnotes

Some readers might find the footnotes in the Nevernight Chronicle distracting; it can be hard to remember where you left off if you jump to a footnote in the middle of a page. But the narrator of the series is so darn snarky that I never minded having to pick up where I left off. I even found myself laughing more than once, which I definitely needed after the more bloody of Mia’s gladiator matches.

Bonus Factor: Redemption

A “bad guy” from Nevernight makes a reappearance in Godsgrave and has a believable arc of redemption that’s tempered with just enough suspicion to make it that much more believable.

Bonus Factor: Gladiators

Although the brutality of the gladiatorial matches are unparalleled, it’s a fascinating culture to read about. The astounding skills they possess, their ability to look past taking a life, the way some are unflinchingly loyal to their masters, even though they are slaves. And, while we’re on the terrible topic ...

Anti-Bonus Factor: Slavery

There are a couple of scenes in Godsgrave that hurt my heart for their depictions of the horrifying conditions slaves in this world find themselves in. But all is not for naught, because they also serve to be eye-opening experiences for certain characters who realize that they don’t yet see the world for what it truly is.

Relationship Status: Friends?

I know you’ve got your own thing going, Book, but I’d like to give this whole relying on others for help thing a try. I think we’d be good for each other. And I really need to hear more about your backstory. To this point, you’ve been a bit of a tease.

FTC Full Disclosure: I bought a copy of this book with my own money, and received neither a private dance party with Tom Hiddleston nor money in exchange for this review. Godsgrave is available now.

Title: Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Year: 2013–
Fix: Stupid-Smart Police Sitcom
Platform: Hulu

Netflix Summary:

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is an ensemble comedy about a talented-but-carefree detective, a by-the-book police captain and their precinct colleagues. While based in the workplace, the series is not really about the job—it’s about the men and women behind the badge.

FYA Summary:

At first glance, Jake Peralta and the rest of the police officers at Brooklyn’s 99th police precinct seem like the dregs of the force. But although they’re a motley crew, they get the job done, and do it with heart. And the occasional heist competition.

Note: This show is ongoing, but I the first four complete seasons and the start of the fifth are all available on Hulu.

Familiar Faces:

Andy Samberg as Jake Peralta

I’m not a huge fan of Andy Samberg’s post-Saturday Night Live roles—they’re often far more stupid than they are funny—so going into this show, I was wary. But the character of Jake Peralta is actually one of the most nuanced performances I’ve ever seen Andy play. Sure, Peralta can be dumb as a post, but he’s also a brilliant cop who often saves the day with his smarts. Do I laugh at him while he does so? Of course. But I’m frequently pleasantly surprised.

Andre Braugher as Captain Ray Holt

Andre Braugher has many “stoic authority figure” roles under his belt, and when you first meet him, Captain Holt seems to be yet another of such roles. Thankfully, the character is so much more than meets the eye, and quickly became one of my most favorite TV characters ever.

Terry Crews as Terry Jeffords

I feel like Terry Jeffords is just Terry Crews playing Terry Crews, but with a different job/life/last name. No one tell me if this assumption is incorrect.

Joe Lo Truglio as Charles Boyle

I know I’ve seen Joe Lo Truglio in other roles, but he’s such an everyman/sidekick guy that he sort of blends into the background of both the things he’s in and my memory of them. That’s perfect for Charles Boyle, who remains a true sidekick, but in a really standout way that will have me actually remembering him this time.

Chelsea Peretti as Gina Linetti

The SASS on this woman. And the confidence. If Chelsea Peretti is one quarter of the fierce woman Gina Linetti is in real life, then she’s a force to be reckoned with.

Melissa Fumero as Amy Santiago

Amy Santiago is the character I most identify with out of the entire cast. Y’all might not think this is something I should be admitting so publicly.

Stephanie Beatriz as Rosa Diaz

Another character who seems a bit flat when first introduced—it’s kind of a theme to this show—Stephanie Beatriz breathes life into Rosa Diaz, who could be nothing more than a “tough Latina” stereotype. Does that mean I’d chance getting on Rosa’s bad side, though? NEVER.

Dirk Blocker and Joel McKinnon Miller as Hitchcock and Scully

Hitchcock and Scully, however, are fit the stereotype of the desk-riding, donut-eating, do-nothing cop to a T. And the show wouldn’t be the same without them.

Couch-Sharing Capability: Ensemble Cast

Although it’s a sitcom, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of the “new” style of such shows. It’s both hilarious and heartfelt, silly and smart, inane and insightful, and—THANK GOODNESS—doesn’t feature a laugh track. It has a killer cast who get better and better as the episodes go by, and some seriously clever ideas (e.g., the Halloween Heist episodes*). It’s the perfect show to watch with all of your friends, and I feel like it might appeal to people from all walks of life.

*Take my word for it, they’re spectacular, and this latest one took the absolute cake. (I really don’t know if they’ll be able to top it in season six, but I think I’ll be OK with it.)

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Stay Hydrated

Watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine from the start means that it’ll be a while before you realize you haven’t moved in close to 10 episodes—it’s that good—so plan ahead and have water bottles filled and nearby.

And maybe, after you finish a season, head out to your local (cop) bar to buy the gang a round.

Use of Your Hulu Subscription: Time for a Binge

Currently in their fifth season (~95 episodes), committing yourself to catching up with Brooklyn Nine-Nine is, well, a commitment. But since the shows are half-hour episodes (less without commercials), it’ll seem like no time has passed until you’re bemoaning having to wait a week or more for a new episode. (If you don’t believe me, I have a friend you can talk to who’s still kind of salty at my husband and I for getting her husband and her hooked while the show was still in production.)

Previously, on Riverdale: Jughead was strongly urged to hang with the Serpents at Southside High. Rumble outside Archie’s house! Alice stirred the pot at the town hall, until Betty and Jughead broke it up, and finally fessed up to the police about the Black Hood’s letter. Veronica wants in on the Lodge dynasty. The Black Hood called Betty!

Hi friends! I’m filling in for Meredith, while she’s traveling this week. Let’s talk delinquent teens!

The Rundown

Betty tries to frantically take notes while the Black Hood makes threats. He knows where Polly is, and will hurt her if Betty tells anyone about their conversation. Betty tells Archie about her call, and he swears not to let her deal with this alone. The next time the Black Hood calls, he tells Betty he’s going to take care of her mom, and sends Betty an email. It’s an old newspaper with the mugshot of a Southside teen released on bail. It’s Alice! The same Alice who thinks Betty may have just made up the cipher from the killer, which has Betty ready to publish that mugshot in retaliation.

Sweet Pea shows Jughead his plans for a pipe bomb, in retaliation for the lost rumble. Jughead decides to take more of a leadership role and starts wearing his Serpents jacket, but they inform him he has to survive initiation first.

The Teens

Serpent initiation involves taking care of a mutt named Hot Dog, a shouted verbal quiz, which Jughead passes, and then he has to handle a snake. Is this gang a joke?

Betty meets Jughead at Pop’s, where they’re both still keeping secrets from eachother. Jughead tells her he wishes they could just get on his bike and run away together. Merriam-Webster has got your broody number, Jug.

Nick invites the Pussycats and all of Veronica’s friends to his party at the Five Seasons. Cheryl quickly insinuates her way into that plotline. Nick busts out the pixie sticks of Jingle Jangle. Betty is the only one who opts out, and then lashes out at Veronica in a pretty harsh fashion. Later, she confesses to Archie about doing what the Black Hood wants, because he hasn’t killed anyone since she started talking to him. Archie goes to talk to Jughead about the Betty situation, but then the Serpents arrive for the final initiation rite. So, Archie goes full Betty on him, and cruelly tells him she doesn’t want to see him anymore. Jughead then gets the holy crap beat out of him to become a full-fledged Serpent. Later, believing Betty dumped him, he and Toni kiss.

At the Lodge’s Open House, Nick shows up, full of apologies for coming on too strong with Veronica, and blames it on being in and out of rehab, while making eyes at Cheryl. Veronica and The Pussycats rock the party, but are somehow not too busy to notice that Nick has roofied Cheryl and disappeared. They bust into his room just in time, and give him the beatdown of a lifetime. It’s AMAZING.

The Grownups

Archie tells his dad he’s done with the Red Circle.

Alice wrote a rude editorial about Hiram Lodge in the paper, right before their big Open House. They Lodges need to land a big investor, and try to pimp out Veronica to make it happen. Her childhood friend, Nick St. Clair, the investor’s son, shows up in town with cocaine and a bad boy swagger. Way to go, Lodges.

The Clues

Betty has a list including that the Black Hood has green-eyes and is probably in his ‘20’s-’30’s. He rewards her “loyalty” by directing her to an abandoned house on the edge of town. Girl seriously needs some My Favorite Murder in her life. This is NOT how we stay sexy and don’t get murdered. Plus, I don’t even think she learns anything from this nonsense.

She does get the Black Hood to admit that Betty would know he is. But he doesn’t like to share her, so she has to start cutting people out of her life, starting with Veronica, and ending with Jughead.

In order to spare Archie, and Polly, the Black Hood demands the name of someone guilty to be sacrificed in their place. Betty gives him Nick St. Clair. Props, girl.

Outfit MVP

Alice arrives at the Open House party, looking like the legend she is.

A Fine Line

“I’m Riverdale’s resident It Girl, Cheryl Blossom.”

“You can put your cape away, Archie. The Pussycats already saved me.”

What’s Coming

Burning Questions

Betty’s ringtone is LOLLIPOP. I guess my question here is… WHAT?

Seriously, though. WHO is so fixated on Betty? Surely it has to be someone we’ve already seen before? But I can’t figure out who meets the description. I maintain Doiley is shady af.

What is happening to our power couple? I need my Riverdale OTP back on track, like immediately. I am, of course, referring to B & V.

How much shit is Archie going to be in, when Betty finds out he didn’t exactly follow instructions re: the Jughead breakup?

How long before this show goes full-on Rebel Without a Cause? May sweeps?

This episode was kind of a big ol’ mess, no? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

And be sure to check out the FYA Store, where we are debuting our own line of Riverdale-inspired merch!

Fridays are even better when they’re the kickoff to a well-deserved three-day weekend after a grueling week of parent-teacher conferences. (Hey, there are very few times throughout the school year that teachers get to do things like sleep and breathe. JUST LET US HAVE THIS ONE, OKAY?) On to the links!

Book-Related Things

Here comes the sun! Snag Nicola Yoon’s The Sun Is Also a Star while it’s on sale. (FYA Review)

Audible Romance lets you skip straight to the swoon, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

The sequel to Scott Westerfeld's graphic novel The Spill Zone will be serialized at thespillzone.com before the book releases in July. (FYA Review)

Check out the full story on ebook piracy featuring Maggie Stiefvater and Samantha Shannon (The Bone Season), among others.

YA Onscreen Things

Behold, the 13th Doctor in all her suspenderly glory! The fan art has already started pouring in. Whovians waste no timey-wimey!

All eight Harry Potter movies are coming to HBO. Now every weekend can be Harry Potter weekend!

These Black Panther posters are FLAW. LESS. (And this response to the one of Daniel Kaluuya, who played Chris in Get Out, wins the internet.)

A new Star Wars trilogy there is!

Social Media Things

Many authors (including J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and Rainbow Rowell) are not here for Twitter’s expanded 280-character limit.

Taika Waititi would rather date Thor than Loki.

Miscellaneous Things

Wizards unite! Niantic (maker of Pokémon GO) is making a Harry Potter augmented reality mobile game!

Tom Hanks plays cupid and helps a couple get engaged at a book festival in Texas, because if you can propose to your girlfriend via Tom Hanks, why wouldn't you?

Elizabeth Warren talks about how she got into politics, recalling a time when she doubted herself and the advice she received from a female senator:

She told me that women always think of reasons they aren’t good enough. “Men never ask if they’re good enough to hold public office. They just ask if they can raise enough money to win. Of course you can do this.”

Good thing it's payday, because you're going to want to buy ALL THE THINGS:

Hot Topic just released a a Loki collection.

Williams-Sonoma has Harry Potter spatulas and aprons. (Who's hosting the Ravenclaw cookout, because I am THERE.)

And the WB Store has a great Gilmore Girls blanket.

Check out the new Doctor Who clothes at Torrid.

Keep your toes toasty with this Harry Potter sock advent calendar (which is of course already [temporarily] sold out). Plus also women of DC, Disney, and Star Wars.

And finally, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Funko Pop!s are coming soon in honor of the show's 20th anniversary. *makes grabby hands toward Dark Willow*

That's all for this week! Discuss and/or share what we missed in the comments!