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YA Movie News Roundup: Loads Of VERONICA MARS Scoop

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YA Movie News Roundup: Loads Of VERONICA MARS Scoop

Welcome back to the YA Movie News Roundup, where it's Veronica Mars all day every day, because I'm the one writing this thing and I'm super excited about Veronica Mars.

Kristen Bell gave an amazing interview about Veronica Mars, creepy children-stalking paparazzi and empowering women, and she demonstrated an astonishing potty mouth and made me love her even more.

Also Veronica Mars is officially the most anticipated movie of 2014 according to the MTV Movie Brawl! I agree, MTV Movie Brawl.

Veronica Mars cast and crewmembers are live-tweeting episodes of the show along with the official VM Rewatch! Here's the upcoming schedule:

    Feb 17: RYAN HANSEN (@HiRyanHansen), for Episode 3x4, Charlie Don't Surf.
    Feb 21: DIANE RUGGIERO (@rugz19), for Episode 3x8, Lord of the Pis.
    Feb 26: JASON DOHRING (@jason_dohring), for Episode 3x13, Postgame Mortem.
    Feb 27: BRANDON HILLOCK (@fanboybrandon), for Episode 3x14, Mars, Bars.
    Mar 2: DAN ETHERIDGE (@danetheridge), for Episode 3x17 Debasement Tapes.
    Mar 4: FRANCIS CAPRA (@franciscapra), for Episode 3x19, Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down.
    Mar 5: JOSH KRAMON (@JoshKramonMusic), for Episode 3x20, The Bitch Is Back.

Want to join in?

    Make sure you've got the day's episode cued up and ready to watch (e.g. on DVD, Amazon, iTunes, wherever).
    Be sure you're following @VeronicaMars, @NeptuneRising and the special guest on Twitter.
    Open your web browser to http://bit.ly/VM-Rewatch, or use your Twitter app to search for #VeronicaMarsRewatch.
    Just after 8pm EST / 5pm PST, @NeptuneRising will send a tweet telling you to start the episode.
    As you watch, join in the conversation by adding #VeronicaMarsRewatch to all of your tweets, so everyone else will see them.
    If you've got a question, ask anytime during the day of the rewatch, and include @veronicamars and #AskVM.

And finally, Rob Thomas revealed the soundtrack lineup to Kickstarter contributors, and it looks great!

    We Used To Be Friends (Alejandro Escovedo)
    Go Captain and Pinlighter (Emperor X)
    Holding My Breath (Mr. Twin Sister)
    All Around and Away We Go (Mr. Twin Sister)
    Criminal (ZZ Ward - ft. Freddie Gibbs)
    Chicago (Sufjan Stevens)
    Stick Up (Max)
    Never Give In (Mackintosh Braun)
    Prosthetic Love (Typhoon)
    You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine (Lou Rawls)
    Second Chances (Gregory Alan Isakov)
    We Used To Be Friends (The Dandy Warhols)
    Mug Shot (Max) *bonus track - on digital album only.

For those who have been asking, one of the tracks – Stick Up, by Max – is the same song featured in the last 30 seconds of our official trailer. And yes, you'll also hear it in the movie.

In non-Veronica Mars news (I mean, if you insist):

Mandy Curtis just reviewed Pierce Brown's Red Rising and it already has a movie deal! Very cool: Brown himself wrote the script (always a good sign!), and it will be directed by World War Z helmer Marc Forster, which is frankly less of a good sign. Just kidding, Forster also directed Finding Neverland and Stranger than Fiction, so I'll allow it.

Philip Seymour Hoffman will be digitally inserted into Mockingjay 1&2 via CGI for the scenes he hasn't already filmed, which just feels gauche and wrong, but I honestly don't know how else I'd handle the same situation.

The very pretty Felicity Jones (Like Crazy, The Tempest) is in talks to star in the Alex Timbers-directed adaptation of Rebecca Serle's When You Were Mine, titled here Rosaline. This is what Felicity Jones looks like - adequately Shakespearean, I'd say:

And speaking of Serle, she fantasy-cast her own book Like Falling, which is a very fun thing for an author to do. She also mentions in that blog post that she approves of Jones' casting for Rosaline.

Studio Ghibli has announced their first animated series based on Astrid Lindgren‘s novel, Ronia the Robber’s Daughter. It's hitting Japanese TV this fall, and our eyeballs who knows when.

In not strictly YA but relevant to our interests news:

The director of Mean Girls spilled ten juicy stories from the set, and this week Lindsay Lohan and Daniel Franzese (Damian) had dinner together and took a selfie!!!

Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson are attached to return for Pitch Perfect 2.

And finally, the ultimate YA movie star of all time, the great Shirley Temple Black, passed away last night at the age of 85. I won't call this a tragedy because she lived a long, rich life and leaves behind an incredible legacy, and we are all lucky to be able to share in that legacy. 


Ooh My Little Pretty One: REALITY BITES Gets A Blu-ray For Its 20th Anniversary

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Ooh My Little Pretty One: REALITY BITES Gets A Blu-ray For Its 20th Anniversary

On February 18, 1994, Reality Bites hit theaters and this little heart of mine was instantly enraptured. All I ever wanted to do was to become a terminally unemployed valedictorian living in Houston and driving a broken-ass car while singing Squeeze's "Tempted," caught in a love affair between a greaser and a soc and making a documentary about the wayward life of my equally lost friends.

And guess what! I live in Houston! And...sometimes I sing "Tempted."

To celebrate Reality Bites' twentieth anniversary, a Blu-ray is finally being released! Special features include:

Digital Copy of Reality Bites (Subject to expiration. Go to NBCUCodes.com for details.)
Includes UltraViolet (Subject to expiration. Go to NBCUCodes.com for details.)
Deleted Scenes
Reality Bites Retrospective
Lisa Loeb: Stay
Music Video "Stay" (I missed you)" by Lisa Loeb
Feature Commentary with Actor/Director Ben Stiller and Writer Helen Childress
Theatrical Trailer

Now you can marvel at Troy's greasy hair in HIGH DEFINITION. Get out of the bell jar, define some irony, don't bogart that can, man, and exit the winter of your discontent. Also, do some of this:

You can buy the Blu starting April 15, or pre-order now. And please leave your name, number, and a brief justification for the ontological necessity of modern man's existential dilemma in the comments below.

Mixing Magic with Pleasure

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Mixing Magic with Pleasure

BOOK REPORT for All That Glows by Ryan Graudin

Cover Story: Soap Opera Softness
BFF Charm: Yay
Swoonworthy Scale: 8
Talky Talk: She Said, Magically
Bonus Factor: Modern Faeries, Royalty
Relationship Status: Gateway Drug

Do you like faeries? What about royals? Curious to find out what happens when the two meet? Then you should definitely check out my full review of All That Glows over at our series on Kirkus.

The GILMORE GIRLS Rewatch Project: Reunited And It Feels So Good

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The GILMORE GIRLS Rewatch Project: Reunited And It Feels So Good

Follow along the whole rewatch here!

Last week, on Gilmore Girls...

It's Week 40 of our Gilmore Girls Rewatch Project, and I am loving these two episodes. The long national nightmare of Luke and Lorelai's estrangement is behind us, and we are treated to a Season One-level load of quirky townie goodness. So let's hop to!

But first! A reminder of our drinking game rules:

The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules

Drink once every time:

Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.

Emily gets flustered by Lorelai's bizarre sense of humor.

Sookie is controlling about food.

Paris is controlling about anything.

Michel snubs a customer.

Luke is crotchety.

Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.

The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.


Drink twice every time:

Kirk has a new job.

You see a town troubadour.

Emily gets a new maid.

Onto the episodes!

5.17 "Pulp Friction"

American Travel Magazine is doing a photo shoot of the Dragonfly Inn because it's been named one of the Top Ten Inns in Connecticut! Gosh, I'm proud of these girls. Everything at the Inn seems dandy, especially with the Inn's resident dandy, Michel. He's returned from a trip to Los Angeles where he went on The Price is Right and won over $100,000 in cash and prizes! Well, mostly just the one prize: a gigantic RV that is delivered to the inn the day of the shoot - and Michel doesn't know how to move it. The photo shoot is rescheduled and Lorelai is PISSED. She goes off on Michel, calling him "a super colossal hindrance" which is totally fair considering what a terrible employee he is, but then he gets pouty and she feels bad and does her best to make it up to him by trying to help him find a buyer for the RV.

She's also spending her time going shopping with Rory, trying to find herself a pretty new dress to wear on her back-together date with Luke! She's excited and nervous, and when Luke picks her up, he is too. It's really cute how awkward they are at first, and Lorelai gives Luke a hard time for a Reggae Fever CD she finds in his truck (rightfully gives him a hard time, I might add), but what's really bothering her is that they spent any time apart. "Well, all I can say is, you’re lucky I’m back in your life, because clearly you were lost without me. I mean, it’s a miracle you’re even still alive...right?" That last "right?" is sort of timid and hopeful, and Luke smiles warmly at her and replies, "You bet." DAMMIT YOU TWO STAY TOGETHER FOREVER.

While Rory's out shopping with Lorelai, she spies Logan on a date with another girl. At first dismayed, she eventually plays it pretty dang cool and decides she's ready to date around, too. Logan seems impressed by how casually she's taking it, until he sees her at a party with Life & Death Brigader Robert and realizes he isn't taking it casually. The party is for Finn's birthday, and it's Quentin Tarantino-themed. Finn's Vincent Vega. I want to go to this party.

Rory looks AMAZING as Gogo from Kill Bill because, as Lorelai points out, she already has the skirt from her Chilton days. Logan (dressed as Pulp Fiction's Butch) is going mad seeing Rory there with Robert ("dead extra number two"), and he keeps trying to make out with her and get her to leave with him, even though he also brought a date (the blood-spattered bride from Kill Bill - seriously, no Reservoir Dogs here?). Rory keeps her cool and Logan ends up wrapped around her finger, calling her constantly after the party and setting up multiple dates. Rory is very pleased with herself.

Finally, Emily is crushed when Rory shows up to Friday night dinner without Lorelai, because she assumed after last week that everything would be fine. She decides that Luke must never have reconciled with Lorelai the way she instructed, so she goes back to the diner to insult him some more instead of just, you know, APOLOGIZING and resolving the argument the way a normal human would. Luke calls Lorelai, who runs to the diner to rescue him, and in the process ends up SCREAMING at Emily: "Mom! Please hear me. If I want your input in my life in any way, shape or form, I will ask for it. Until then, do us all a favor and shut up!" It is AWFUL to watch. Although Emily was in the midst of saying appalling things to both Luke and Lorelai, I can't get behind the way Lorelai speaks to her here. The whole scene sucks and I feel terrible for Luke, who's just trying to stay out of it. Emily looks stunned and storms out, and Lorelai sits in shell-shocked silence. Ugh ugh ugh.

How many times do I have to drink?

5.

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?

2.

Flirtation quota:

I love seeing Rory gain the upper hand with Logan (as fleeting as it may be). And she flirts with Robert just enough to be friendly, without appearing to lead him on just to make Logan jealous. She handles the whole situation very well, I must say. Also Logan takes Rory on a date to a play and then sneaks her into the empty dining hall for cereal and ice cream. She is so excited, and he smiles at her: "You're an easy girl to please."

As for Lorelai and Luke? God, it's so nice to see them sharing another witty diner repartee again:

Best/most dated pop culture reference:

When Lorelai brings in Weston's coffee to Luke's, he is affronted: "You bring an enemy coffee cup in here on the day of our reconciliation?" Lorelai, in a passable Godfather voice: "At least I didn't ask you for a favor on this, the day of your daughter's wedding."

Sookie's best dish of the episode:

She makes a hundred baked goods for the travel mag shoot: a cake on every table in the dining room, a plate of fresh-baked cookies in the living room, a basket of cupcakes for the reception desk.

Lorelai's craziest outfit:

It's not crazy, per se, and of course she's rocking it, but I don't care for this pink sparkly number she wears for the big date, especially with the even-pinker cardigan.

Outfit MVP:

GO GO RORY

Kirk insanity:

He's collecting all the pink and blue ribbons from Luke and Lorelai's breakup, and Lorelai is pleased (though not surprised) to learn that there are far more pink ribbons than blue. Kirk also decides, with Luke's ill-timed advice, that it's time to move out of his mother's house so he and Lulu can have some QT (that's quality time, not Quentin Tarantino). And then of course he ends up sleeping naked in Luke's boat in Lorelai's garage, and then crashing, also naked, in Michel's RV.

Michel madness:

Well, I repeat...Kirk ends up crashing naked in Michel's RV. But also he returns from his LA trip boasting of his new botox and the veneers he had done by Nick Lachey's guy.

Best Gilmore Gal witticism:

I don't know why, but it makes me laugh so hard when Lorelai's trying to sell Michel's RV and she brags about "the beautiful maple-ish paneling." Michel sniffs, "I didn't know about the maple-ish paneling."

Random observation:

Lorelai is amazingly uncool about Rory's assertion that she and Logan are just keeping it casual even though they're sleeping together. She's trying so hard to pretend she gets it when Rory says "Mom, it's college," but she tells Luke later that it bothers her that she can't use her mom card whenever she thinks Rory's making a mistake. "It’s different. She’s on her own. She’s making her own decisions. My ‘mom card’ is looking a little flimsier, and I don’t know how much to say to her. If she doesn’t want to hear it, she doesn’t have to take it. She doesn’t have to call, or come home." It's very interesting because of course that's how Emily feels about Lorelai: that she's making a mistake with her life, and that Emily, as her mother, knows better. And Lorelai responds to Emily in exactly the way she fears Rory might one day respond to her: with no respect and zero interest in her mother's input.

5.18 "To Live and Let Diorama"

Old man Twickham's finally kicked the bucket! Everyone in town gets together to say goodbye to him for the fiftieth and final time, and then Taylor is in charge of making a temporary Stars Hollow Museum out of Twickham's beautiful home, per his will. Luke, meanwhile, is acting drastically out of character: he willingly attends a town meeting and then volunteers to help get the museum in working order. He works as Taylor's right hand man and never grumbles in spite of all of Taylor's nonsensical instructions and maddening overbearance. He tells Lorelai he's volunteering because Twickham was like a father to him, and he tells Taylor it's because Lorelai is making him. But the real reason? Luke has always wanted Twickham's home, and after the museum (with its INSANE light-up mannequin diorama display which Lorelai and Sookie of course find delightful) closes, he wants to make an offer on the home...because HE'S READY TO START A FAMILY!!! Taylor considers it, and Luke keeps it quiet from Lorelai, although he seems pleased when she says "Wow. I just never really looked at this place before. Those columns, and that brick. It's beautiful." Squee! (SPOILER - sigh.)

The Dragonfly Inn's been chosen as the cover for American Travel Magazine! It's really exciting - and oh man, Luke is so excited for Lorelai - but things get a little messy when it comes time for Lorelai to give the interview. She's doing a great job and the reporter seems pleased, especially when Lorelai goes on an Emily-bashing tangent of epic proportions. For instance: she calls her worse than Mussolini and Stalin! Rory frets about it when Lorelai tells her later, and she explains to Lorelai that if she never said "off the record," then it isn't. Sure enough, the writer wants to include it in her piece - so Lorelai, after some soul-searching, asks her to forgo the interview and the cover. Crappy business decision (and shouldn't she have run it by Sookie first?), but good daughter decision.

Oh, and super randomly, Dean shows up to help with the museum construction, and he spends the entire episode glaring at Luke. Luke finally confronts him and asks if it's about the Great Bop-It Crisis Of 2004, and Dean pouts a lot about Rory and tells Luke that Lorelai's going to do the same thing to him that Rory did to Dean. "They want more than this. Don’t you see that? And all you are is this. This town, it’s all you are, and it’s not enough. She’s going to get bored, and you can’t take her anywhere. You’re here forever." GAH SHUT UP DEAN. Go back to listening to Metallica and hunting demons in that sweet-ass Impala with your brother who is also named Dean! And Luke: STOP TAKING THE ADVICE OF A TWENTY-YEAR-OLD FLOPPY-HAIRED DOORMAT.

Meanwhile, the woman who broke Dean's heart is feeling a little heartbreak herself, as Logan's attention has wandered. "Logan and I were hot and heavy, had a good two weeks, then it became about voicemails, then crickets," Rory tells Paris, who is suffering her own Doyle-related angst. They both decide to stop being pathetic and get out and do something.

"Something" ends up being drinking a ton of Miss Patty's Founders Day Punch in the backyard of the Twickham museum with Lane, who is mourning the fact that she saw Zack talking to Sophie when he was supposed to be out with the guys. Yes, I mean Sophie the music store owner (played by Gilmore Girls theme song singer Carole King!), who is obviously way too old to be Zack's other woman, but Lane's all nervous he's going to leave her because she won't have sex with him until they're married.

So yeah, all of these brilliant, badass ladies are made into sad piles of mush by the combination of negligent boys and too much alcohol. Lane actually confronts poor Sophie (it turns out Zack just wanted to play the banjo in secret), Paris stumbles around shoeless asking for change like a hobo (don't ask), and Rory ends up sobbing on the bathroom floor as Lorelai strokes her hair. "Why doesn't he like me? Why doesn't he call me? What did I do?" Lorelai looks concerned, and I blame Miss Patty's punch. (Read my recipe here! Make your own so you, too, can vomit and sob on the bathroom floor!)

How many times do I have to drink?

18, dang!

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?

2.

Flirtation quota:

I can't get over how thrilled Luke is about the magazine cover for Lorelai. "Hey, there she is, the woman of the hour! I am blown away by this! You're going to be on the cover of a magazine! That's a big deal!" He did research on all of the different writers so he could give Lorelai advice on who should interview her. YOU GUYS. THAT IS THE ACTUAL CUTEST. Also she gooses him several times during the mannequin show.

Best/most dated pop culture reference:

About Twickham's final moments, Lorelai: "And I just got my good-bye in. He was about to close shop for the day but we got in, told him good-bye and that we'd miss him, we left and then apparently he just closed his eyes. Muttered something about Lori Loughlin and that was that."

Sookie's best dish of the episode:

Trail mix? More importantly, we can all feast on her tangible glee at the light-up mannequin presentation. "I can't get enough!"

Lorelai's craziest outfit/Michel madness:

Nope.

Outfit MVP:

At least Lane's wearing this kickass deconstructed blazer when she humiliates herself in Sophie's shop.

Kirk insanity:

He's still looking for a place to sleep and Stars Hollow is sharing the responsibility of sheltering him. My favorite is when he's crashing at Lorelai's and she treats him just like a mom: "Grab your jacket, it's chilly, Kirk. Finish your breakfast first. Kirk. Do not turn that TV on!" eee so cute.

Best Gilmore Gal witticism:

When Paris asks Rory how old Kirk is, Rory: "You’d have to cut him open and count the rings."

Random observation:

I've read a lot of people listing this episode as an example of why Logan's bad for Rory: he makes her weak and pathetic when she's usually so strong. And I concede: drunk, pathetic, sobbing Rory is no fun to watch. But guys, you remember college, right? Surely I'm not the only strong, independent woman who remembers drinking too much and sobbing over some undeserving boy once or twice or a dozen times? Lane and Paris are no better here - it happens. Booze + boys make a deadly combination, even to the heartiest of twenty-year-olds.

--

So that's it for this week! Meet us back here next Wednesday morning as we cover "But I'm A Gilmore!" and "How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?"

And I leave you with a question, dear FYA readers: anyone else agree to let Rory off easy for her crying jag, or do you think, like Lorelai, that it's a symptom of something more insidious than typical college-aged drama?

Giveaway: Grasshopper Jungle

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Giveaway: Grasshopper Jungle

Hooray -- Andrew Smith's latest book, Grasshopper Jungle, has FINALLY been released! I'll be reviewing it later today, but lemme tell y'all -- it is, in the words of Gwen Stefani, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Here's the official word: 

Sixteen-year-old Austin Szerba interweaves the story of his Polish legacy with the story of how he and his best friend, Robby, brought about the end of humanity and the rise of an army of unstoppable, six-foot tall praying mantises in small-town Iowa. To make matters worse, Austin's hormones are totally oblivious; they don't care that the world is in utter chaos: Austin is in love with his girlfriend, Shann, but remains confused about his sexual orientation. He is stewing in a self-professed constant state of maximum horniness, directed at both Robby and Shann.

Ultimately, it is up to Austin to save the world and propagate the species in this sci-fright journey of survival, sex, and the complex realities of the human condition.

About the Author: 

Andrew Smith is the award-winning author of several Young Adult novels, including the critically acclaimed Winger (Starred reviews in Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, Booklist, and Shelf Awareness—an Amazon “Best of the Year”) and The Marbury Lens (A YALSA BFYA, and Starred reviews and Best of the Year in both Publishers Weekly and Booklist).

He is a native-born Californian who spent most of his formative years traveling the world. His university studies focused on Political Science, Journalism, and Literature. He has published numerous short stories and articles. Grasshopper Jungle, coming February 11, 2014, is his seventh novel. He lives in Southern California.

You can also visit Andrew Smith on: 

Twitter
Facebook
Goodreads
Website

For a chance to win a copy of Grasshopper Jungle and an #UnstoppableCorn t-shirt, leave a comment with your strategy for fighting off an army of unstoppable, six-foot tall praying mantises (get creative, y'all!). A winner will be randomly chosen on Tuesday, February 18th. (U.S. only -- sorry, everyone else!)

And check out the rest of stops on the gigantic, six-foot tall praying mantis sized blog tour for Grasshopper Jungle!

February 3: The Midnight Garden and The Story Siren
February 4: Good Choice Reading and Bookish
February 5: I Read Banned Books and Jenna Does Books
February 6: Bibliophilia, Please and Escaping One Book At A Time
February 7: Scott Reads It and Live to Read

February 10: Alice Marvels and The Society
February 11: Lexi Swoons and A Reader of Fictions
February 12: Roof Beam Reader and Forever Young Adult (hey, that's us!)
February 13: The Compulsive Reader and Books and Bling
February 14: Book Chic Club and The QQQE

February 17: JeanBookNerd and Ticket to Anywhere
February 18: Sleep Eat Read Books and Read Now Sleep Later
February 19: Anna Reads and Word Spelunking
February 20: Books With Bite and What A Nerd Girl Says
February 21: Wastepaper Prose and LRB – Guest

February 24: We Are Word Nerds and Cabin Goddess
February 25: Ex Libris and Cari's Book Blog and A Good Addiction
February 26: YA Reads and The Young Folks
February 27: Novel Thoughts and Fangirlish
February 28: Once Upon a Twilight and Naughty Book Kitties

Pretty Little Liars 4x19: Shadow Play

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Pretty Little Liars 4x19: Shadow Play

This week: everything is perfect and nothing hurts. Except Spencer’s central nervous system, which is maxxed out on uppers.


MVP

Joseph Dougherty and ABC Family for taking this and us so seriously and making something beautiful.

via prettylitleblackhoodie

 

LVP

Every recurring cast member who was Out Of Town (it’s our loss too).

 

BEST SCENE

 

via twistedlittleliars

Followed immediately by Mona scoffing loudly at the juicer (the juicer!!) and Ezra cutting her off  with a hard-sibilant “NIXxx.”

The condescension. It is DELICIOUS.

 

BIGGEST NO-DUH

Mona is perfect in every era.

Lose something, honey? (via popchoc)

 

(via plldailly)

 

PREVIOUSLY ON PRETTY LITTLE LIARS


Spencer took a lot of Study Aid. Ezra gaslit Aria into keeping their relationship/Murder Cabin "our secret." Ali is running out of money and Shana can't help anymore. Spencer discovered Ezra is Board Shorts…but they can't tell Aria that something's up with her creepy pedophile boyfriend until they are sixty thousand percent sure they are right. Meanwhile, creepy pedophile boyfriend invited teenage Mona into his classroom, and closed the door.

 

THIS WEEK

 

Real

Still down an Aria, the other three Liars search Fitz's empty classroom for clues to eight billion percent confirm the thing they can't seem to say out loud. Foreshadowing! What would they tell Aria anyway, Hanna wonders—"Isn't it funny how your old boyfriend turned out to be a stalking whack job?"

The girls fall into their roles: Hanna sasses; Emily worries; Spencer pulls open every drawer in Ezra's desk until she finds a super duper handy unmarked manila envelope containing Ali's diary, i.e. damning evidence that 1) it was Ezra haunting them at the cabin, and 2) (say it with us now) Ezra is A.

In the hall, they start discussing who else might be working with Ezra. For example, MIA Shana. For another example, Mona comes around the corner. The girls duck out of sight and spy as Mona enters Fitz's classroom and emerges holding a giant stack of folders. What Hanna, Emily and Spencer do not do is bother following as Mona saunters off, carrying a bunch of potentially important clues to a potentially significant person. That definitely won't come back to bite them.

Instead, they go to Spencer’s house. Spencer spreads her whole EzrA investigation out across the kitchen island and explains how since BOTH of her parents are out of town being lawyers it’s okay. “Romantic,” Says Hanna. “Sure,” Says Spence. “One’s in Chicago, the other in Boston.” Sounds about right.

Emily wonders if maybe they didn’t find Ali's diary awfully easily. What if it wasn't A who left it there? And shouldn’t they be investigating Mona+Ezra’s connection (gee IF ONLY MONA OR EZRA HAD GIVEN YOU A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO DO JUST THAT)? And didn’t Hanna want off the A train?? "I’m more pissed than I am scared,” Hanna says. Besides…

  

  

"The A-ness of things." That's it. That's the show.  (via teddywestside)

On the way back from Murder Cabin, Aria tells Ezra about a Creative Writing story she's working on and we all know there's nothing Ezra Fitzgerald loves more than a high schooler telling him about a story she's writing (not joking slash ew). "I had this hero, but I got fascinated with the villain," Aria muses. Does the villain win? Ezra wonders and wow such metaphor.

Now home alone, Spence plays a noir movie in the background as she gulps down more Study Aid. Spencer, who of course has memorized entire passages of an obscure 1950 essay on mystery writing craft, half-smiles at the movie and mutters “Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean…

In the movie, a gun flashes and…BLACK AND WHITE.

 

*****

NOTEY’all, we really loved this episode. In fact, we loved it so much that it inspired us (well, Alexis) to put on our big girl party hats and go a little lit-crit crazy over how amazingly well the PLL writers fitted all our girls and their character arcs to the elements Chandler outlines in “The Simple Art of Murder,” which Spence and Toby quote directly. So this next section is a little different than usual, and if you are like “enough WORDS, my head feels like it is full of hot ice cubes,” we TOTALLY UNDERSTAND and invite you to skip right on ahead to the SPENCER'S NOIR MIND PALACE. But just sayin: we’re not picking anything up that the genius PLL writers ain’t laying down.

*****

 

Dissertation on the Not Real 

(as framed by Chandler’s essay, direct quotations in italics)

It is not a very fragrant world, but it is the world you live in, and certain writers with tough minds and a cool spirit of detachment can make very interesting and even amusing patterns out of it.

Spencer’s Study Aid dream hallucination is not just inspired by the film she was watching when she broke, but also by Raymond Chandler’s view of the world’s gritty underbelly and the detective-hero we all need to make it safer. Well. Spencer is nothing if not a tough pattern-maker with a cool spirit of detachment. Let’s roll.

Each character in her dream is a combination of Spencer’s projection of their essence plus one aspect of Chandler’s ideal detective. Chandler’s 1940s LA needed only Philip Marlowe; Alison DiLaurentis’ Rosewood is so broken it needs all four Liars and their friends.

 

But down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. The detective in this kind of story must be such a man. He is the hero, he is everything.

via alloyentertainment

While the rest of this half-season’s investigations circle around Ali’s not-murder and current predicament, those in the hallucination drive Spencer to figure out just what she knows and just why it is she is so unwilling to admit to knowing it. Toby and the girls and even hallucination-within-a-hallucination Dorian Gray Ali push and push Spence to admit she is lying to herself (and them) about all she has figured out—both about Ali and about herself.

She has fought for two years to disprove Ali’s claims that by always falling for Melissa’s boyfriends she was somehow “tarnished,” and that by just being Spencer Hastings she is a mean part of a mean world. But between Toby repeating Chandler’s line to her about a girl who must walk the mean streets who is not herself mean, and the dream Liars standing up for each other in the face of Ali’s continued terrorizing, Spencer sees her growth for what it is.  No matter the barbs Ali throws when the Liars finally corner her at the Rocketteish “nite” club (“…that’s not how you spell ‘night,’” a glorious Spencer mutters at her own subcoscious as the girls walk past posters in the alley)—Spencer knows she is not mean or tarnished. She is Rosewood’s hero.

Ali: “I bet this one would love it something happened to me—that way she wouldn’t have to worry about dropping to second place if I came back.”

Spencer: “You’re setting us up for something. You only ever tell us what you want us to know; it’s always been that way.”

Ali: “And you’re different?”

Spencer: “Yeah. I’m different.”

And the way she hears herself say it? She finally knows it’s true.

 

I think he might seduce a duchess and I am quite sure he would not spoil a virgin; if he is a man of honor in one thing, he is that in all things.

  

  

via prettylittleliars-onabcfamily and prettylittleliarsquestions

Em and Spence have had a tough go of it in 4B. Em has been the Liar most anxious to reconnect with and help Ali (and the only one invited to do so), and Spencer has been the most suspicious of Ali’s motives (and the one who busted the Emison reunion). Spencer’s guilt over breaking Em’s trust is what drove her to Study Aid in the first place. That her hallucination finds Em re-assuaging Paige’s insecurities at being attracted to women, then later standing up for Spencer when Ali’s fangs sink in, is both true to Em’s deeply kind character and to Spencer’s fervent wish for how things will work out between the girls when Ali really does come back.

 

He talks as the man of his age talks, that is, with rude wit, a lively sense of the grotesque, a disgust for sham, and a contempt for pettiness.

  

via asamizdrenka

In the real world when Hanna says “…this is all about the A-ness of things,” Spencer responds by blanching at the delivery, but agreeing with the sentiment. Basically Hanna is perfect in every world and says exactly what she wants to say and exactly what needs to be said, whether it is a tit-for-tat “you owe me so many favors—remember those three sailors??” or a spittingly dismissive “Men.” Her grabbing Ali’s arm as she is about to slap Spencer in the climactic dressing room scene is NOT hopeful thinking, but just what Hanna Marin would and will do when Ali finally slithers back into town.

 

The story is his adventure in search of a hidden truth, and it would be no adventure if it did not happen to a man fit for adventure.

via murdercabin

Aria gets crap from us, but she has a rough storyline to be enmeshed in. The other girls are ready to take down A, while Aria is busy being taken by A (ahem…we’ll wait for everyone to go wash out their eyes for reading that. And we apologize. But also, seriously). And both in the real world and in Spencer’s hallucination, Aria is perched on the edge of the most treacherous of the Liars’ discoveries to date. But Aria is tough (remember Meredith?) and is ready to be the hero of her own adventure (and protector of her friends) when the time comes. And, in case you’re worried the day of her adventure is too far in the offing, we give you next week’s promo. And we assume that when the Ezra Monster is due on Montgomery Street, the other Liars will actually step up and not just send Aria off alone to her death. Or else maybe Toby will for real hit Ezra hard, and more than once.

 

He has a sense of character, or he would not know his job. He will take no man’s money dishonestly and no man’s insolence without a due and dispassionate revenge.

  

via spencerscaffeine

Toby has quit or lost jobs rather than go back on his honor or be false to himself or Spencer. Even when he was on the A team it was in due and dispassionate revenge for the terror being inflicted on the girls that couldn’t be stopped from the outside. He and Caleb always knew better than to let A drive the game unchallenged, and they had their own fantastic Scooby Club thing going before Caleb fell in love with a ghost. Toby and his hair are even growing on Catie. That he is the fifth point on Spencer’s Chandler Detective constellation makes perfect sense.

 

He is a lonely man and his pride is that you will treat him as a proud man or be very sorry you ever saw him.

via ihorrocrux

It hurt our hearts to see Em and Paige return to their pre-coming out headspaces this week, even if it was period appropriate. They have both come so far, personally and as a couple, and we know Spencer knows that. We presume she sent them back to this moment to try to reset the path that took Em so successfully AWAY from Ali in the first place—again, optimistic thinking for how Spence wants things to go once Ali does fully return.

Anyway, Paige is a recovering lonely and proud girl who wears her heart on her sleeve or not at all—and if you hurt her she will BREAK you. Spencer knows: the Liars (and the writers’ budget) should really use her more.

**dissertation over**

 

SPENCER'S NOIR MIND PALACE


Spencer’s mind palace consists of: House of Hastings, the Brew, apartment 3B, and the warehouse where she spied on Emily and Alison. It also consists of people. The Liars, Toby and Paige play themselves concentrated—Em loves everyone and Paige loves her; Hanna gossips her way to real intel; Aria wears ridiculous patterns and declares champagne the most sophisticated thing in the world. Even Toby’s “Yes, YOU have the book. Since when did the Devil start giving out free samples?” is Toby to a T: he’s making a good point, but at the expense of not really understanding the Devil’s MO (hint: free samples i.e. temptation are EXACTLY what the Devil hands out all the time).

The villains, too, concentrate into pure, informative THEMness in the mind palace: Ali as a grown version of her breath-holding monster self, mocking Spencer’s drug habit and cowardice for being unable to tell Aria the truth; Mona as a kidnapping vixen as ready to kill Hanna as to kiss her; Ezra as the true, vegetable-obsessed creep we all know him to be. But each villain has some truth/clue to offer Spencer, too. “You have all the pieces,” multiple characters declare throughout her drug-spurred hallucination. “You just need to put them together.”

Ali (re: that creepy awesome painting) “Quite a likeness; he did a wonderful job. I should have been nicer to him.”

A likeness like A BLONDE CORPSE IN YOUR CRYPT? “DOCTORED” TO APPEAR AS ALI D?

Ezra“ True love, honey, just can’t kill it.”

Like, you really can’t. He tried. She just got dug up by Ravenswood’s resident ghost whisperer.

Mona “There's a blonde package for you…better hurry before she stops breathing.”

In the dream, that's Hanna. In reality—well they are certainly putting a lot of effort into trying to find Ali before she gets killed a million times again.

…or maybe those clues are just wishful thinking on our part.

Basically, Spencer is super confused, and people keep asking her all these really hard questions, such as: Why does everyone’s voice box freeze when trying to say the three syllable phrase, “Ezra is A?” Is Ali alive, or dead, or maybe a zombie or or or…at this point who even knows. Is it possible to contact her directly or do you have to leave a message in the pocket of a jacket and take that jacket to a dry cleaner under an assumed name and put the dry cleaner ticket in a famous novel about pedophilia and then lend that book to your friend who doesn’t even really read that much, and hope that does the trick (answer: yes, but in French)? Did Alison create A? WHY DO YOU HAVE THE DIARY?

The final noir scene, in Toby’s car, sees this last question coming back again, this time from literally every angle. "This car is almost out of gas!" Toby warns, and Spencer snaps back that she is too. Stop stalling, Spencer, everyone says. Stop being tired, just figure it out, no matter who it hurts. Look at the pages. Not at the book, LOOK AT THE PAGES. It's not the same thing, Spencer, not the book, the pages, put the pieces together, Spencer, just figure it out, the pages…

… and BAM. The color's back.

 

REAL

Spencer stands dazed at her kitchen counter, and it seems like no time at all has passed. She walks over and picks up Ali's diary, turning it over in her hands, and you can just see in her eyes that she is finally assembling the picture.

She explains to Hanna and Emily that A planted the diary for them to find. But the diary isn't what it seems: certain words and phrases have been changed. What A doesn't know is that Spencer has the original pages photographed on her phone (because thank god A has never once figured out how to hack their phones or anything), and thus can compare the two versions and identify the differences. Whoever stole the book, Spencer says, wanted to make sure they didn't see certain things-—in fact, wanted to make sure they saw something else instead. Hiding in plain sight, doing three shows a night.

“If Ezra left the book for us to find,” says Hanna, “…he knows we know,” Emily finishes. They have to tell Aria, but she's still not answering. They head to her house, where they see through the window Ezra and Aria…

 

via prettylittleliarsquestions

very much making out.

 

Special Delivery From Noir-A


via kissthemgoodbye

Hey, PLL props team? Super good job this episode. Like, really tip top. Just one teensy little thing…there are no periods in telegrams. That’s why they say STOP. The STOP is the period. If we already had periods, we wouldn’t need to say STOP all the time. Ok, cool, just glad we got this straight. STOP.

 

Next week we see Aria break down OUTSIDE OF A BOX, and everyone’s vocal cords finally wrap themselves around the simple phrase “Ezra is A.” And with no thick allusory gimmicks being thrown at us by the producers, we promise not to write another dissertation on character development and literary connections. PINKIE SWEAR.

ACT NORMAL, BITCHES

Kisses

A (lexis and Catie)

 

 

Welcome to the Jungle

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Welcome to the Jungle

BOOK REPORT for Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

Cover Story: Montell Jordan
BFF Charm: Sure
Swoonworthy Scale: 6
Talky Talk: Let's Talk About Sex (and History), Baby
Bonus Factors: Genealogy, Boners, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Giant Praying Mantises
Relationship Status: You're a Real Dynamo, Kid

Cover Story: Montell Jordan

Y'ALL. THIS COVER. It's simple and brilliant (in more than one sense) and WHY CAN'T ALL COVERS BE THIS GREAT? Sing it, Montell.

The Deal:

OMG I've only been waiting for this book for FOREVER. (Or for a few months. WHICH IS BASICALLY THE SAME THING.) But ooh boy, where to even start? 

Ealing, Iowa is just your ordinary small town, and Austin Szerba is just your ordinary, small town, fourth generation Polish-American boy. Except Austin's in love with his two best friends, Robby and Shann (full name -on, so put down your weird name pitchforks). And an army of unstoppable, ginormous praying mantises that threatens the entire existence of mankind has been unleashed in Ealing, NO BIG DEAL. 

The end of the world is nigh, but not if Austin can do something about it. As long as he can keep his perpetual horniness at bay long enough to get shit done, that is. 

BFF Charm: Sure

Oof, if anyone could use an extra BFF, it'd be Austin. Being in love with both the ones you have kind of makes it tough to talk about relationship woes, y'know? Esp. when there's the added wrinkle of confusion over his sexual orientation. But this is SO not a pity charm; Austin's peculiar and observant perspective is a fun place to visit, and I can honestly say I've never thought about names for testicles as much as I did when I was hanging out with him. 

If I sound a bit reluctant to give him a BFF charm, that's only because homeboy has a raging case of B.O. So my first act as his self-appointed BFF is to get him some clinical strength deodorant, STAT.

Swoonworthy Scale: 6

Yes, there is a love triangle, but it's one that has me rooting for both of Austin's love interests. Shann is his girlfriend, but his love of Robby goes so much deeper than friendship. And Robby even has an inside joke nickname for Austin, which is crushspeak for HAWWWT. 

Even though I was definitely biased (to the point of eventually shouting "NOW KISS!" in my head everytime Austin and Robby were in the same room), I can totally understand Austin's indecision. Both Shann and Robby are pretty dang awesome, and their relationships with Austin have varying levels of sweetness and complexity. 

Talky Talk: Let's Talk about Sex (and History), Baby

Austin fancies himself as a historian, but you'd never find a history textbook with a narrative like his. 'Cause Austin's style is, like, interesting and engaging. (You've also probably never read about the history of an uprising of giant bugs in Iowa, but that's beside the point.) And it actually reminds me of Pushing Daisies -- not in tone, but the way it shows the characters' pasts factoring into their present predicaments. (Like those Jim Dale-narrated montages that give time down to the minute.) Even though time is linear, history itself isn't. There are hundreds, thousands, gazillions of individual events, converging and diverging with everyone else's histories, that have accumulated into you reading this very sentence right now. And considering that enormous scope of history is something that Austin does v. well.  

Shann said, "I love how you tell stories. I love how, whenever you tell me a story, you go backwards and forwards and tell me everything else that could possibly be happening in every direction, like an explosion. Like a flower blooming."

And also unlike a textbook, Austin doesn't skimp on cusses or sex. Fortch, he doesn't get graphic or flowery with the latter.* It's all very matter-of-fact semen-impregnation business (after all, where do you think all those unstoppable soldiers come from?).

But the main takeaway from the writing is that Andrew Smith is one gutsy story teller. And I'll just leave it at that, since anything else I can think to add seems to have a whiff of spoiler.

*GOOD, 'cause I would not be able to handle more of that right now.

Bonus Factor: Genealogy

What does a Polish man exiled to Tsarist Russia have anything to do with the infestation of overgrown bugs in Ealing? Well, they're both a part of Austin's history, and the stories of his ancestors are interspersed throughout the book.

Bonus Factor: Boners

So, Austin gets horny. Like, A LOT. The kid gets aroused by practically everything -- especially by Shann and Robby (and also Shann AND Robby, if you know what I mean). So that thing about guys thinking about sex every seven seconds? Preeeetty much.

Bonus Factor: Ripley's Believe It or Not

Yo, there is a LOT of weird science going on in Ealing (aside from the obvious), but none of it looks like Kelly LeBrock. I'm talking creepy-crawly, freaky-deaky, squirm-in-your-seat shit. It's not a lot, but it's exactly the sort of mad science that gives me the heebie-jeebs.

Bonus Factor: Giant Praying Mantises

Normal bugs might be annoying, but magnified ones are fucking terrifying, y'all. Sure, it's all fun and games when they're small enough to get squashed by my shoes. But without that size advantage, I suddenly feel V. V. AFRAID. 

In battle, a six-foot-tall praying mantis could easily destroy a six-foot-tall grizzly bear. They were like grizzly bears with steel plating and lightning-fast arms studded with row upon row of shark's teeth. 

P.S. You're welcome for that new irrational phobia.

Casting Call:

We've been squeeing over him at FYA HQ lately (because shouldn't we always?), so when I saw that he's Polish, there really was no other choice for Austin.

Young Devon Sawa as Austin

Likewise, I thought of no one else for Robby, he of the perpetual cigarette in mouth. 

Young Christian Slater as Robby

And although I can totally see Chloe Moretz as Shann, I'm all about sticking with a theme.

Young Michelle Williams as Shann

Relationship Status: You're a Real Dynamo, Kid

The minute I found out about this book, I knew I was HOOKED. And when I finally got to know it, it did not disappoint. It kept me on my toes, with its irresistible blend of humour, heart, and family history. Book, I'd gladly have your back in a fight against an army of unstoppable six-foot tall praying mantises. You know what I mean.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my free review copy from Dutton Juvenile. I received neither money nor froyo for writing this review (dammit!). Grasshopper Jungle is available now.

Netflix Fix: Goon

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Netflix Fix: Goon

Title: Goon
Year: 2011
Fix: Hockey (Fights)

Netflix Summary:

When he's seen dispatching a rude opposing hockey player in the stands, Doug Glatt is hired by a rival team ... for his fighting skills. It seems the new team's star is gun-shy after being hit by a puck, and Glatt's job is to be his on-ice bodyguard.

FYA Summary:

So I realize that the overlap in the YA- and hockey-lover Venn diagram amongst FYA readers might not be that big, but 1) that could mean a greater chance of me recommending something new to y'all, and 2) who said you had to like a sport in order to watch it in fictionalized form? (See: Exhibits A through infinity.)

Anyway, Goon follows the rise of Doug Glatt, a bouncer-turned-enforcer for a minor hockey team. Not only does he have to contend with a bratty superstar, unsupportive parents, and the whole never-having-been-on-skates thing (soooorta important, even if your main job is to beat people up), there's a formiddable fighting legend waiting in the wings for his chance at Doug. This has all the elements of an underdog sports movie, but just with A LOT more blood and salty language.

Familiar Faces:

Seann William Scott as Doug "The Thug" Glatt

Now, I haven't watched all the movies in SWS's oeuvre, but this is probably as un-Stifler as he's ever been. Doug is just a big, dumb teddy bear -- as long as you're not on the receiving end of his fists. (Although he tries to be nice to the people he whales on, too.)

Liev Schreiber as Ross "The Boss" Rhea

Rhea is the wiley veteran that takes note of the upstart rookie, and THAT 'STACHE. And maybe this is more common in the minors, but the most unrealistic part of this movie are the cool sports nicknames.* (Though to be fair, 'Doug' and 'Ross' lend themselves to some pretty easy ones.) Anyway, this is the second-best hockey thing Liev has ever done -- with this being the best, obvs.

*A rarity nowadays, in a sea of uninspired abbreviated names or initials-number combos. Some of my all-time faves are the Round Mound of Rebound, Earl the Pearl, and the Hick from French Lick. (Sense a theme? That's right; BASKETBALL.**)

**Just be glad Space Jam and Like Mike aren't on Instant. 'Cause HELL YEAH, I'd go there.

Jay Baruchel as Pat

Doug's crude BFF is a hockey fanatic who has his own cable access show and vlog dealie. Jay co-wrote the movie, and he's definitely not the sweet little nerd from Undeclared (and Popular Mechanics for Kids) anymore. 

Alison Pill as Eva

Eva's a bit of a puck bunny, but at least she's actually knowledgeable about the game. Now if only she'd go on that long-awaited Sex Bob-omb world tour.

Eugene Levy as Dr. Glatt

Two American Pie alumnis in one movie?! Doesn't that automatically summon Jason Biggs and a sullied pie? While that'd be a sensible explanation for the expression above, Doug's dad is freaking out in response to his son's dangerous new career.

Kim Coates as Coach Ronnie Hortense

Kim Coates is one of those character actors that's been in a million things, so you're bound to have seen him somewhere before. Here, he's a no-nonsense kind of coach. (But really, is there any other kind in a movie? And what kind of coach would admit to being yes-nonsense?)

Also: not a famous face, but the play-by-play announcer is GOLDEN.

Couch-Sharing Capability: Not for the Faint of Heart

Just like the sport itself, this movie can get brutal and bloody. Not only is the realistic violence squeam-inducible, but there's tons of debate potential over fighting in hockey. 

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Beer Buzz

Overpriced stadium beer might be hockey's natural companion, but any kind will do to dull those sympathy pains from all the hits these guys take.

Use of Your Netflix Subscription: Solid

There aren't a lot of hockey films out there, let alone good ones that inspire intentional LOLs (albeit somewhat vulgar ones). Goon doesn't gloss over the physical toll of the sport, but it doesn't glorify it, either. And if you've ever wondered why anyone would subject themselves to the punishment being of a hockey enforcer, this movie might be able to shed a little light.


Sexy Sochi

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Sexy Sochi

Although the events of the Winter Olympics aren’t known for their skimpy outfits or copious amounts of visible skin (like those of the summer games), the athletes that take part are no less appealing.

And because we here at FYA HQ are all about the science, we recently engaged in some serious research into the athletes currently inhabiting Sochi’s Olympic Village. We present our findings below.

Name: Henrik Lundqvist
Age: 31
Sport: Ice Hockey
Country: Sweden
Fun Fact: Henrik’s nickname is “The King.”

 

Name: Vanessa Vanakorn
Age: 35
Sport: Alpine Skiing
Country: Thailand
Fun Fact: Vanessa, a.k.a. Vanessa-Mae, a child prodigy violinist and pianist, has sold more than 10 million records worldwide.

 

Name: Hubertus Von Hohenlohe
Age: 55
Sport: Alpine Skiing
Country: Mexico
Fun Fact: Hubertus is not only the only member of the Mexican team, he’s also a real-life prince.

 

Name: Ireen Wüst
Age: 27
Sport: Speed Skating
Country: Netherlands
Fun Fact: When she won gold at the 2006 Games in Turin, Ireen became the youngest Dutch Olympic champion.

 

Name: Lloyd Jones
Age: 25
Sport: Figure Skating
Country: France
Fun Fact: One of Lloyd’s hobbies is juggling.

 

Name: The Dufour-Lapointe Sisters (Maxime, Chloe and Justine)
Age: 25, 22 and 19, respectively
Sport: Freestyle Skiing
Country: Canada
Fun Fact: Justine wears unicorn ski socks, and Maxine and Chloe are a bit superstitious: They always put their left skis on first.

 

Name: Gabriel Landeskog
Age: 21
Sport: Ice Hockey
Country: Sweden
Fun Fact: In September 2012, he became the youngest team captain in NHL history (for the Colorado Avalanches) at age 19.

 

Name: Sarah Hendrickson
Age: 19
Sport: Ski Jumping
Country: USA
Fun Fact: Sarah was the first woman to jump in the debut of ski jumping in the 2014 Olympics.

 

Name: J.R. Celski
Age: 23
Sport: Short Track
Country: USA
Fun Fact: J.R.’s motto is “Stay hungry, stay foolish.”

 

Name: Dominique Maltais
Age: 33
Sport: Snowboard
Country: Canada
Fun Fact: Dominique has previously been a firefighter in Montreal.

 

Name: Henrik Zetterberg
Age: 33
Sport: Ice Hockey
Country: Sweden
Fun Fact: This Henrik’s fourth time in the Olympics.

 

Name: Julie Chu
Age: 31
Sport: Ice Hockey
Country: USA
Fun Fact: Julie was captain of the gold medal-winning U.S. women's ice hockey team during the 2013 World Championships.

 

Name: Shani Davis
Age: 31
Sport: Speed Skating
Country: USA
Fun Fact: Shani, in part, inspired the character Frozone in The Incredibles.

 

Name: Anna Sidorova
Age: 23
Sport: Curling
Country: Russia
Fun Fact: Anna has a degree in public relations from Moscow’s Russian State University for the Humanities.

 

Name: Lucas Eguibar
Age: 20
Sport: Snowboard
Country: Spain
Fun Fact: Lucas has been participating in snow sports since age 2.

 

Name: Silje Norendal
Age: 20
Sport: Snowboard
Country: Norway
Fun Fact: Silje’s motto is: "Smile at the world and the world will smile back."

 

Name: Jean-Philippe Le Guellec
Age: 28
Sport: Biathalon
Country: Canada
Fun Fact: Jean-Philippe quotes the movie Gladiator (“strength and honour”) in his pre-race rituals.

 

Name: The Entire Canadian Bobsleigh Team
Age: 26–39
Sport: Bobsleigh
Country: Canada
Fun Fact: Here’s a picture of a few of the gents … in their skivvies.

Obviously, we couldn’t include every single attractive Olympian in this post—if we did, we’d be here until the closing ceremonies—but we’re not ones to dismiss reader-submitted research. Let us know your favorite sexy Olympians in the comments below. Pictures are encouraged!

Christie & Cocktails: The Mystery Of The Blue Train

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Christie & Cocktails: The Mystery Of The Blue Train

BOOK REPORT for The Mystery Of The Blue Train by Agatha Christie

Cover Story: Pretty Darn Accurate
BFF Charm: Yay!
Swoonworthy Scale: 1
Talky Talk: Sit Up and Pay Attention
Bonus Factors: Cocktails!
Relationship Status: Together Forever

Cover Story: Pretty Darn Accurate

Well this is a "Christie & Cocktails" first; the cover on this book ACTUALLY represents what happens in the book (crazy, right?). I have to give props to the original designer of this bookcover, because it seems as though they may have really read a good portion of the book, instead of just making something up that seems "mysterious."

The Deal: We start off with an unlikely heroine in this book; a nice British woman (Katherine) who has lived her whole life as a nurse. The old woman whom Katherine has been looking after finally dies and leaves her a huge chunk of cash (super sweet!). Katherine, who has never done anything much exciting in her 30-some-odd years, decides to take a fancy train across the continent and down to the South of France (naturally-- that's what I would do too). Along the way on the train she meets a millionairess who is leaving her cheating husband to meet her lover, and she also meets a funny little Belgian, Hercule Poirot. The millionairess doesn't make it to the Riviera, unfortunately. She is found strangled to death and some very valuable rubies have gone missing as well. It's up to Poirot, and his unlikely new sidekick Katherine, whom he takes a liking to, to solve the crime!

BFF Charm: Yay!

I like this chick Katherine a lot. She doesn't have a lot of worldly experience, but she's got some okay detective skills. I like that Poirot decides to take her on as a sidekick, and together they arrive at the same conclusion-- him using his little grey cells for deduction, and her using her knowledge of human nature. It's fun to go along with them on this romp!

Swoonworthy Scale: 1

As usual around here, there is very little swoon to speak of. Katherine does get her fair share of private heart-to-hearts from several gentlemen, but when everyone's a suspect, and you're a smart lady like Katherine, there's just very little swoon.

Talky Talk: Sit Up and Pay Attention

Agatha Christie is still going strong with her storytelling. It's fun being the reader of her books, because you get all the clues along with everyone else in the novel. No, I didn't figure this one out, but it might have been becasue I was just enjoying the ride.

Bonus Factor: Cocktails!

It's that time again! You were getting thirsty, weren't you?

In honor of of fancy-colored train (for fancy people!) and the trip through the French countryside, we'll be stirring together a simple drink today. Here's what you need to make The Blue Train cocktail:

Sparkling wine (to stand in for French champagne, no need to get crazy around here)

1/4 oz. Blue Curacao

Frozen cranberries

Fill your flute with your sparkling wine; add the smallest bit of blue curacao (for the color! But also it adds a little flavor of orange to your bubbles). Garnish with your rubies-- I mean, frozen cranberries!-- to keep it all cold. There you go! Easy enough you can still make one, even if you've already had a few- and believe me, you will want more than one!


Relationship Status: Together Forever

Poirot, ANY TIME you want to take a fancy train down to the South of France, I am IN. This book was fun, had a traditional Christie twist ending, and you just can't beat the weather. Let's always be together!

152 Reasons I Love YOU’VE GOT MAIL

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152 Reasons I Love YOU’VE GOT MAIL

Confession: I have watched You've Got Mail about 200 times.

Just kidding, I've seen it at least 300 times, but I wanted to cleverly reference the part in the film when Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) tells Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) about her obsession with Pride and Prejudice, because I am that much of a nerd about this movie. In honor of Joe's AOL handle, NY152, I've created a list that explains why You've Got Mail is my favorite film of all time.

p.s. You can see the list on full display this month at the Alamo Drafthouse, where we'll be screening You've Got Mail as part of our Girlie Night series. You're welcome!

1. Nora Ephron.
2. A bouquet of newly sharpened pencils.
3. Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan, a.k.a. the ultimate movie couple.
4. As the Storybook Lady, Kathleen reads from Roald Dahl's BOY.
5. "Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today, I saw one! It got on at 42nd and off at 59th, where, I assume, it was going to Bloomingdale’s to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake, as almost all hats are."
6. Brinkley the dog.
7. Parker Posey as Patricia Eden.
8. F-O-X.
9. The Cranberries montage of NYC in the fall.
10. A happy ending.
11. Rose, the cashier at Zabar's.
12. A Starbucks cappuccino only costs $2.95.
13. Steve Zahn as George.
14. "What should I pack for my summer vacation? Leave the gun, take the cannoli."
15. The Shop Around the Corner.
16. Daisies are the friendliest flower.
17. Dave Chappelle as Kevin.
18. Commentary on the internet age: "The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings."
19. Cafe Lalo.
20. Wonderfully dated AOL references.
21. A scene that passes the Bechdel test.
22. "You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life."
23. The Shoe Books.
24. Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours."
25. "He ran Spain."
26. Heather Burns as Christina.
27. The Nut Shop, where it's fun.
28. "Patricia makes coffee nervous."
29. Meg Ryan's adorable haircut.
30. Twirling.
31. Greg Kinnear as Frank Navasky.
32. The neighborhood carnival on the Upper West Side.
33. "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"
34. Frank's off-key Christmas caroling.
35. Caviar: Garnish or Not a Garnish?
36. Jean Stapleton as Birdie.
37. Joe's charming grandfather ("I think we might have had a date once.").
38. Kathleen's cozy apartment.
39. "WHERE ARE MY TIC-TACS?"
40. The time they thought Frank was the Unabomber.
41. "My father's getting married again. For the past five years he's been living with a woman named Gillian, who studied decorating at Caesar's Palace."
42. Dabney Coleman as Nelson Fox.
43. Louis Armstrong's "Dummy Song."
44. "I tried to have cybersex once, but I kept getting a busy signal."
45. Saying hello to New Jersey.
46. Joe's dislike of Joni Mitchell.
47. Gillian running away with Nanny Maureen.
48. "The number of people who think he looks like Clark Gable."
49. "One hundred and fifty-two people who think he looks like a Clark Bar."
50. Kathleen, finally delivering a zinger.
51. Kathleen's face, after delivering the zinger.
52. Joe's dysfunctional "American" family.
53. Meg Ryan's super cute wardrobe.
54. "Confession: I have read PRIDE AND PREJUDICE about 200 times. I get lost in the language, words like 'thither,' 'mischance,' 'felicity.'"
55. Kathleen and Joe's amazing kiss (seconded by Brinkley).
56. Frank's typewriters.
57. When Birdie talks to Kathleen's dead mom.
58. Barney Greengrass.
59. 1998.
60. Based on PARFUMERIE by Miklós László.
61. Kathleen: "And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?" Joe: "Uh, nothing." Kathleen: "Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal."
62. Ultradorm.
63. Joe pretending to strike out on the carnival Strongman Game.
64. Internet love.
65. The preciousness of Matt Fox.
66. Gray's Papaya.
67. The moment when Joe falls for Kathleen.
68. The moment when Kathleen falls for Joe.
69. Bobby Day's "Rockin' Robin."
70. The ease of channeling Kathleen when recommending a book. "Read it. I know you'll love it."
71. Joe's certainty that Shopgirl is pretty.
72. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by women."
73. Kevin's romantic advice about taking things to the next level.
74. Kathleen and Joe's shame over how much they love checking their email.
75. The charmingly outdated opening credits.
76. Kathleen's lame mirror trick at Cafe Lalo.
77. George's eucalyptus candles, which make his apartment smell mossy.
78. "Brinkley is a great catcher and was offered a tryout on the Mets farm team but he chose to stay with me so that he could spend 18 hours a day sleeping on a large green pillow the size of an inner tube."
79. Kathleen, pretending to be Muhammad Ali.
80. A lone reed.
81. Patricia's commentary on the Rosenbergs.
82. Wondering what Kathleen's book will be about.
83. "If she turns out to be as good looking as a mailbox, I would be crazy enough to turn my life upside down and marry her."
84. Joe's hatred of the squeaky mice voices in CINDERELLA.
85. The clichéd meet-up device: a book with a rose in it.
86. Living in a boat.
87. The delightful farmers market.
88. Social commentary about big box stores buying out mom and pop shops.
89. The fact that big box stores are now suffering.
90. "Mr. 152 insights into my soul."
91. Zabar's.
92. Kathleen and Frank's fight in the movie theater.
93. The excitement over getting an email from your crush.
94. Joe's strategic competition for Kathleen's affections with his AOL alter ego.
95. Harry Nilsson's cover of "Over the Rainbow."
96. Kathleen rising like a phoenix from the ashes of her bookstore.
97. Verdi Square.
98. "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."
99. Picturing George working for Fox Books.
100. The poster of Eloise in the Shop Around the Corner.
101. Tom Hanks' ad-libbed line, "Good thing it wasn't the fish."
102. Kathleen wondering if Mr. Darcy and Lizzie will really end up together.
103. New York in the spring.
104. The way Joe looks at Kathleen when he says, "Oh, how I wish you would."
105. The Upper West Side as a character in the film.
106. Twinkle lights.
107. Frank's bizarre chemistry with the TV interviewer.
108. "Thank your."
109. Kathleen thinking that NY152 would never do anything as prosaic as using his address in his AOL handle.
110. Dave Chappelle's swagger.
111. The gun hand signs Joe and his grandfather make to each other.
112. Kathleen's pajamas.
113. Frank: "Name me one thing, one, that we've gained from technology." Kathleen: "Electricity." Frank: "That's one."
114. The Storybook Lady hat.
115. Kathleen, gesturing with a knife.
116. 91st Street Garden.
117. "Happy Thanksgiving back."
118. Parker Posey's snores.
119. Joe sending Kevin to check out Shopgirl.
120. Kathleen's ridiculously adorable sick voice.
121. The Wayne Thiebaud poster in Kathleen's kitchen.
122. Christina's tie and sweater combo.
123. "Good night, dear void."
124. Joe and Kathleen would never fight about which video to rent on a Saturday night.
125. Birdie Conrad's name is the reverse of Conrad Birdie.
126. The cute prehistoric nature of Joe and Kathleen's laptops.
127. Nelson: "Perfect. Keep those West-Side liberal nuts, pseudo-intellectuals…" Joe: "Readers, Dad. They're called readers." Nelson: "Don't do that, son. Don't romanticize them."
128. Kathleen's handkerchief.
129. Fox Books' attractiveness in spite of your inclination to hate it.
130. Joe's obsession with THE GODFATHER.
131. Matt and Joe rocking the oversized sunglasses.
132. The way Kathleen grasps at her throat because she's too overwhelmed with emotion over Joe's declaration of affection.
133. How Joe and Kathleen mouth the words "You've got mail."
134. Patricia's unabashed cattiness.
135. "This is the Upper West Side, man. We might as well tell them we're opening up a crack house."
136. Joe falling off the treadmill.
137. The New Yorkers behind Kathleen in line at Zabar's.
138. "As if you were one of those stupid 22-year-old-girls with no last name? 'Hi, I'm Kimberly!' 'Hi, I'm Janice!' Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name? It's like they're an entire generation of cocktail waitresses."
139. Joe squished into the kids’ ride at the carnival.
140. Christina on cyber sex: "Well, you know what, don't do it. Because the minute you do, they lose all respect for you."
141. H&H Bagels.
142. The guy with the cape that walks into Cafe Lalo.
143. "Never marry a man who lies."
144. Birdie's glasses.
145. Dial-up modems.
146. Joe's classy grandfather clock.
147. Christina's disdain for Brooklyn.
148. "When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your life does."
149. The flowers in 91st Street Garden.
150. Annabelle's performance of "Tomorrow."
151. Kathleen's shock over receiving an instant message.
152. The romance of written correspondence.

This was originally published in the February edition of Birth.Movies.Death. See You've Got Mail at the Alamo Drafthouse this month!

Anyone For a Game of Croquet?

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Anyone For a Game of Croquet?

BOOK REPORT for The Crown (Queen of Hearts Book 1) by Colleen Oakes

Cover Story: Philippa Gregory   
BFF Charm:
Eventually
Swoonworthy Scale: 5
Talky Talk: Beware the Creeping Dark
Bonus Factors: Wonderland, Courtly Intrigue, Frenemies
Anti-Bonus Factor: Patty Chase Award for Awful Parenting
Trigger Warning: Torture/Physical Abuse
Relationship Status: Team Dinah

Cover Story: Philippa Gregory

You might say that I learned everything I know about a certain period in English history from Philippa Gregory. Her Tudor series’ covers had a signature style that almost ALL European historical fiction has since copied. Queen of Hearts is definitely more on the “adult” than the “young” side and so the cover is well-suited. The isolation and loneliness that Princess Dinah feels is palpable as she stands alone in a doorway, looking outside, hands clenched in front of her.

The Deal:

Dinah, Princess of Wonderland, is 15 years old the day her father, the brutish King of Hearts, announces to his kingdom that he has fathered another daughter, but out of wedlock, the blonde, shy, Vittiore. Dinah has always craved any attention or affection from her father and he gives her neither, so now that she has to share this already miniscule spotlight with a bastard daughter? To say she’s having none of it is an understatement.

Still, she knows that in two years time she will be crowned Queen of Hearts (as her mother died when she was ten) and rule alongside her father, so she tolerates Vittiore by avoiding her altogether. Two years later at the annual Croquet Party Dinner someone slips Dinah a dessert plate with the words “EAT ME” drizzled upon it, along with a slip of paper with the name “Faina Baker” written on it. This mysterious note sets in motion Dinah seeking out the terrible truth about Wonderland and her father’s plans for it.

BFF Charm: Eventually

Dinah is so dismissive of poor Vittiore that it was hard for me to have any real BFF feelings toward her. Glimpses of the dreaded Red Queen from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland kept surfacing in my mind; her insane ruthlessness and jealousy. But Dinah is just a kid. A kid who has lost her mother and whose genius younger brother is mentally ill and kept out of sight in his tower, making gorgeous bespoke hats for Wonderland’s wealthiest. Her only true friend are Harris (her tutor/guardian), Emily, (her lady’s maid) and Wardley, her best friend and future Knave of Hearts. Dinah has an open heart for those who are suffering and it’s this that solidified our status as besties.

Swoonworthy Scale: 5

Unsurprisingly, Dinah doesn’t have that much experience around boys. She leads quite the sheltered palace life (even if that does include mandatory attendance at the annual Execution Day beheadings). She’s convinced that she’s in love with Wardley and I am REALLY WORRIED FOR HER YOU GUYS, because she’s sure that he’s in love with her as well. This is what happens when you only have one friend and no girlfriends. There are a few shared kisses and lots of Wardley-daydreams, all of which are quite swoony even if they are a bit misplaced.

Talky Talk:  Beware the Creeping Dark

Something is rotten in the State of Wonderland, and you feel it slithering upon you like a slowly twisting vine waiting to prick you with its thorns. The pacing is as swift and deft as the impending doom itself. From the creeptastic King’s Adviser, Cheshire, to the looming, web-like prisons of The Black Towers, sinister secrets and danger are lurking everywhere.

Bonus Factor: Wonderland

Iconic characters are reimagined in clever and interesting ways. TweedleDee and TweedleDum? Now snide, gossipy ladies-in-waiting. The White Rabbit? Now a beloved tutor and guardian. And Cheshire isn’t a cat but he is still oh-so-captivating. I think there is more to him than Dinah believes. He strikes me as a chap who knows how to play the Long Game.

Bonus Factor: Courtly Intrigue

Murder, deceit, backstabbing, hidden underground tunnels. I'M HERE FOR ALL OF IT. And yes, I am rather pleased with myself that I got to upload this pic of two MASTER court players, Lord Varys and Lady Oleanna Tyrrell. RESPECT.

Bonus Factor: Frenemies

Even though the relationship between Dinah and Vittiore is pretty much non-existent in this installation, I am pretty sure that the shade Dinah manages to throw at her carries actual physical weight. Still, Vittiore tries her best and could turn out to be an ally that Dinah never knew she needed.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Patty Chase Award for Awful Parenting

This award isn’t even sufficient for how terrible a parent the King of Hearts is. We need The Balon Greyjoy Award for Truly Abusive Parenting here. He ignores his children, and when he’s not actively ignoring them he’s humiliating them. He’s a bloodthirsty beast of a man and I get the feeling that we don’t know the entire backstory of his marriage either. Dinah understanding how vicious her father is does nothing to diminish her need for his approval, and it’s only when she starts to abandon this that she starts to come into her own.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Torture/Physical Abuse

Although the torture scene does add to the storytelling (showing us just how corrupt and evil the King of Hearts actually is) I still think it's appropriate to issue a Trigger Warning here for people who may find this sort of thing traumatizing to read about.

Casting Call:

Mae Whitman as Dinah

Author Colleen Oakes did all the work for me; I found this in her dedications: “Mae Whitman: thank you for being the inspiration behind my Dinah. You are a fierce little thing, and I admire every bit of your work.”

Kit Harrington as Wardley

Because the fellas on Game of Thrones are never going to stop being cast in medieval fantasy roles.

Relationship Status: Team Dinah

As with any other classic story reimagining I went into reading this with a smidge of hesitation, but Oakes has created her own world here, her Wonderland is darker, more cutthroat and somehow more real. As stakes heighten and Dinah starts to realize that everything she once knew isn’t what it seems we see just what she’s made of. It’s a rather slim book, clocking in at just over 200 pages, so I truly hope that the next installment comes to us soon!

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a free review copy from SparkPress. I received neither cocktails nor money for this review (dammit!). Queen of Hearts: Vol. 1, The Crown is available now.

Let’s Start a Love Train (A Love Train)

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Let’s Start a Love Train (A Love Train)

Happy Valentine’s Day! Although it’s true that Feb. 14 has become another excuse for Big Candy and Big Cards to sell you their products, the best part of the day, really, is the chance to tell your loved ones just how much they mean to you.

The second-best part is actually tomorrow: half-price chocolate day!*

*I know you know what I’m talkin’ about.

We’ve made it easy to share the love with the following FYA Valentines, designed during a love-fueled brainstorming session at FYA HQ. We’ve provided both book and TV designs, and designs that would work for people other than your significant other, so there’s a little somethin’-somethin’ for (almost) everyone.

And at the end of the post, we’ve provided links to sheets that you can download, print out, cut up and deliver—with as many X's and O's as you deem appropriate.

Books:

Divergent

Eleanor & Park

Fangirl

The Fault in Our Stars

The Raven Boys/The Dream Thieves

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

TV:

Gilmore Girls (from Meredith)

The Originals (from Jennie)

Sherlock (from Mandy C.)

(This one's for all you JohnLock fans out there.)

Pretty Little Liars (from Alexis and Catie)

These will look a little funny on screen, but should download fine: Sheet 1 (Divergent, Eleanor & Park, Fangirl, The Fault In Our Stars) | Sheet 2 (Will Grayson, Will Grayson, The Raven Cycle, Gilmore Girls) | Sheet 3 (The Originals and Sherlock) | Sheet 4 (Pretty Little Liars).

Procrastination Pro-Tips: After The War And Everything Is Different

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Procrastination Pro-Tips: After The War And Everything Is Different

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Or, if you’re live on the eastern side of the good ole’ USA, happy Snow Day!  Lots of links for you this week, as usual, so let’s check ‘em out!

Book Related Things

Two of the most hilarious things you will read, ever.  The Toast on vampire mythology and dystopian fiction.

More details from the J.K. Rowling interview heard round the world.  And what happens to books when they end?

An interview with Lauren Oliver and Lexa Hillyer on being story architects.

Series novels are be released faster than ever.  But is that a good thing?

Self-pub expert Hugh Howey has a facinating report on ebook sales numbers.  And here's a super long and interesting piece on Amazon.com.

School Library Journal will be publishing a dedicated issue on diversity this May. 

Most adorable pictures of the week: kids reading books to shelter cats.

Buzzfeed cobbles together the worst Jane Austen heroine quiz ever created (she says, having gotten Elinor Dashwood, which is just absurd.)

Goodreads has a literary lovers flowchart for you.

What is the most literate city in the US?  (Spoiler alert: DC, again!)

Calling all writers - move to Detroit and get a free house.

Movie Related Things

Did you hear the world erupt into giddy squeals all at once earlier this week?  Well, that is because the Veronica Mars movie has made the cover of EW.  And check out the great photos and this new clip.

I can't even with that photo.

Looks like Felicity Jones will be cast as Rosaline in the upcoming movie based on Rebecca Serle’s When You Were Mine.

Insurgent has found itself a director.

YA novel Nerve is getting an adaptation.

Channing Tatum is hard at work on Magic Mike 2.

TV Related Things

Game of Thrones released a fifteen minute season 4 trailer.  (Screencaps, if you can’t get enough.)

Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys will be turned into a BBC miniseries.

Maggie Q to star in a show about a (real life) Pirate Queen.

An interview with the director of the first two Peter Capaldi Doctor Who episodes.

In production news, MTV will be making a show based on an R.L. Stine novel.

The CW has already announced its plans to renew five of its shows.

The Wonder Years is finally coming to DVD.  (Looks like it suffered from what I shall refer to as really fucking expensive music licensing syndrome.)

Which Sailor Moon character are you?  (I don't even need to do this one because I am tall and have brown hair, so there.)

Miscellaneous Things

Kristen Stewart, actress and...poet?

Which Spice Girl are you?  (Again, tall and have brown hair.  I am starting to see a pattern here.)

Celebrate Laura Ingalls Wilder’s birthday with cake!

That's all!  Happy Friday, Happy Valentine's and stay warm!

Something Evil’s Lurking In The Dark

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Something Evil’s Lurking In The Dark

BOOK REPORT for White Space (Dark Passages #1) by Ilsa J. Bick

Cover Story: Montell Jordan
BFF Charm: Nay
Swoonworthy Scale: 2
Talky Talk: Nail-biting
Bonus Factors: Mindf*ck, Horror
Relationship Status: One Night Stand

Cover Story: Montell Jordan

Helloooo, gorgeous! The starkness of this cover catches your attention, and then the complexity of the black mass lures you in. Are those birds? Trees? Shadows? The uncertainty only adds to the foreboding tone of the design, which is all you need to know that this book ain't a ray of sunshine.

The Deal:

It's tough to describe the premise of this book without including major spoilers. It's also just tough to describe, period. But I'll give it my best shot, because I love you guys.

Basically, the story centers on Emma Lindsay, a teenage girl prone to massive headaches and memory loss thanks to the brain damage she sustained as a baby. (Her dad mistook her for a basketball and threw her into a hoop. Then he went to prison and committed suicide, so I guess it all worked out.) She's just been busted by her English teacher for plagiarizing a story written by Frank McDermott, a massively successful and wildly eccentric author who was killed by his wife, who then disappeared with their young daughter, Lizzie.

The crazy thing is that Emma has never read McDermott's story. But when she leaves school and drives into a raging winter storm, she discovers that she is somehow connected to the dark world of his novels, and the nightmares contained within are no longer content to remain on the page.

BFF Charm: Nay

I had a hard time getting to know Emma, mostly because I was too busy alternating between being confused and TERRIFIED. She's nice and much braver than I am, but her character development took a backseat to all of the world-building and dizzying action. Plus, given all of the danger that seems to follow her, you best believe I am keeping my weenie ass as far from her vicinity as possible.

Swoonworthy Scale: 2

The winter storm brings a seemingly random group of strangers together, including Eric, an all-American boy who has spent his life protecting his little brother from their horribly abusive father. He's definitely a good dude, and I liked him, but he lacked the foxiness of Tom, the main love interest in Ilsa J. Bick's Ashes. Maybe it's not fair to expect the same level of hotness in a new and completely separate series, but the romance between Eric and Emma just didn't have any heat.

Talky Talk: Nail-biting

This book is scary, y'all. We're talking YOL - Yelp Out Loud. Like Ashes, it's supremely gory (I don't recommend picking it up right after a meal), and the monsters are grotesque and horrifying. There were certain passages that I simply skimmed because CAN YOU DIE FROM FEAR?

Thankfully, I was able to catch my breath whenever Emma attempted to unravel the true nature of her world. The premise of the book, while creative, is pretty overwrought, and no matter how many times Emma compares it to The Matrix (which is a lot of times), the concept of the story is clunky and weighs down the pacing considerably. It feels like Bick got too wrapped up in her own creation to remember to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for her readers to follow. Making it past the first few chapters requires effort, and the payoff isn't necessarily worth the struggle.

Bonus Factor: Mindf*ck

This book hurt my brain. I mean that in a good way... mostly.

Bonus Factor: Horror

I don't enjoy have the shizz scared out of me per se, but it was refreshing to read a YA novel that went to very, very dark places. The ghastly creatures were straight out of a Lovecraft story, and the Stephen King-esque scenarios made my skin crawl.

Casting Call:

Emma Stone as Emma

Maybe it's because they share a name and the same coppery hair, but picturing Emma Stone made me root for the heroine that much harder.

Relationship Status: One Night Stand

Book, we had a pretty wild time together, and I'm not sure when my adrenaline levels will return to normal. You were a freak in sheets, no doubt, but when you weren't thrilling me, you were kind of a complicated mess. I mean, I get it, you've got a whole lot of shizz going on. I just don't think I'm gonna stick around to see if you can figure it all out.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my review copy from Egmont.  I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). White Space is available now.


Yipi Ki Yay, Mr. Neri

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Yipi Ki Yay, Mr. Neri

BOOK REPORT for Ghetto Cowboy by Greg Neri

Cover Story: He Followed Me Home, Can I Keep Him?
Drinking Buddy: Of Course, Of Course
Testosterone Level: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badges!
Talky Talk: I'm Your Huckleberry
Bonus Factors: Black Cowboys, Lassie, Come Home!, You're Not My Real Father
Bromance Status: The Tough Loner With a Heart of Gold

Cover Story: He Followed Me Home, Can I Keep Him?

Despite the somewhat gritty nature of this book, this is just a story about a kid and the animal he loves. No drugs, no violence, no sex, just a boy and his horse.

The Deal:

Twelve-year-old Cole has pushed his mother too far. Cutting class, vandalism, basically being a pain in the ass. And one afternoon his mother informs Cole that she's had enough. Detroit is no longer his home. His mom is going to drop him off in Philadelphia to go live with his dad, Harper, a man he's never met.

Cole is suddenly alone in a new city with a man who is not looking forward to getting to know his son. Cole, however, is shocked when he finds just what his dad does: raises horses. Right in the middle of inner-city Philly. He keeps a horse inside his house. He races in the park. Uses horseback riding as a way to keep troubled kids from making bad choices.

Who ever heard of an urban cowboy? Or a black cowboy?

Drinking Buddy:

Cole is a likeable kid. He wants to fit in, to be liked, to be loved by his mother. However, he lives in a neighborhood where you can be shot for walking down the wrong street (both in Detroit and Philly). He wants something in his life...but riding horses? Who does that in the city?

Testosterone Level: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badges!

So the city fathers have overlooked Harper's rogue stables because the whole area is blighted and no one cares. But now that some developers are interested in building condos in the area, the city starts talking permits and licenses. The garbage collectors suddenly refuse to pick up the manure. News crews start poking around. Police, who have ignored the neighborhood for years, are suddenly enforcing the livestock regulations.

But Harper and his friends aren't bums. They're COWBOYS. And ain't no cowboy gonna be pushed around by no durn city slicker (that was either John Wayne or ebonics, you choose). When the bulldozers come to knock down the stables, there's gonna be a posse of angry cowpokes there.

Talky Talk: I'm Your Huckleberry

This book could easily be a middle grade book. Nothing PG-13, and it's fairly short. At the same time, this has great high school appeal. Teens can relate to disaffected Cole, who is used to being ignored and shortchanged by the system. And it's a rare book with an almost entirely African American cast, which is sorely lacking in literature today.

Bonus Factor: Black Cowboys

Cole is under the impression that all cowboys are white, just like in Hollywood. Harper's buddy Tex explains how African Americans have been riding the ranges for hundreds of years. In fact, the very term 'cowboy' was originally a pejorative, meaning the slave who took care of the livestock (as opposed to the houseboy). Cole learns that you can't rely on what's in the movies to teach you history.

Bonus Factor: Lassie, Come Home!

Cole sees himself as a hard ass gangsta, just like any other junior high boy. But then he meets Boo, one of the horses at his father's stable. Like Cole, Boo is unwanted, awkward, and hard to get along with. They instantly form a bond. Cole grows to love the ugly horse, learns how to take care of him, and how to ride him. It's beautiful.

And then the faceless bureaucrats from the city declare that all the horses are neglected and come to confiscate them...including Boo.

Excuse me? Take a cowboy's horse? Smile when you say that, partner.

Bonus Factor: You're Not My Real Father

Harper hasn't exactly been father of the year. In fact, Cole has never even seen a picture of him, let alone talked to him. Harper's not thrilled with having the son he never wanted to know suddenly dumped off on his stoop. And Cole has no desire to live with the man who abandoned him and his mother. But hey, it was this or summer school.

Bromance Status: The Tough Loner With a Heart of Gold

I expected this book to be too badass for me, but it has a softer side too. Not that it still wouldn't kick my ass.

Your New Fake Boyfriend: Miles Teller

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Your New Fake Boyfriend: Miles Teller

Here at FYA, we feel that it's our duty to introduce our readers to the charming new faces of Hollywood. After all, if you met a hot new boy at school, you would immediately introduce him to your friend, right?

It's a serious responsibility, and we don't take it lightly. So trust me when I say that you're about to develop a big ole crush on Miles Teller.

Fake Boyfriend Name: Miles Alexander Teller

Name says: I looked up "Miles" and the meaning was uncertain (something to do with "gracious" or "soldier"), but who cares, because Miles Teller is a totally rad name. It's the kind of name an author would make up for a YA love interest, amiright? And that's his real name, y'all.

Date of Birth: February 20, 1987

Age says: He's about to turn 27! Happy Birthday, Miles! Also, happy birthday to us, because it's not creepy for women over thirty to crush on a boy in his late 20s, right? Right?!

Place of Birth: Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Birthplace says: Thanks to his dad, who was a nuclear plant engineer, Miles moved around a lot as a kid. I would guess that changing schools frequently forced him to be outgoing, although I doubt he started out as a shy kid. In this Jimmy Kimmel interview, he talks about the group of friends he made in Florida and, more importantly, shows us some pictures of the shirts his mom made for his birthday. (Merry Teller = Mother of the Year.)

Education Background: Graduated from Lecanto High School (in Florida) in 2005; earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts from Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

Education says: Miles did theater in high school (he was Willard in Footloose) and played in several bands (including one for his youth group!), but due to his passion for sports, he wanted to go into broadcasting. Thank god he changed his mind and attended Tisch, where he snagged a role in John Cameron Mitchell's Rabbit Hole a month before graduating. Hello, overachiever!

Where You Have Seen Him/Seen His Work:

The first time I encountered Miles was when I saw the Footloose remake. He reprised his high school role of Willard, and he was easily the best part of the movie, a.k.a. ADORABLE.

I knew I wanted to cast him in, like, every book report ever, but it wasn't until I saw The Spectacular Now that I realized my feelings weren't strictly platonic.

He is SO GOOD in this movie, you guys. He's charming and funny while hinting at the dark turbulence of his character's soul. Put this kid on your brochure, Tisch, cos the dude can ACT.

For That Awkward Moment, he teamed up with Zac Efron and Michael B. Jordan, two regulation hotties that still couldn't overshadow Miles' appeal. And if you've seen Zac Efron shirtless, then you know that says a lot.

Where You Can See Him Currently:

Miles made a big splash this year at Sundance with Whiplash, which won both the Grand Jury Prize and the Dramatic Audience Award, and I NEED TO WATCH IT LIKE YESTERDAY. He's also appearing in another film that we've all been dying to see-- Divergent.

He plays Peter, which means his scenes with Shailene Woodley will be totally different than their romance in The Spectacular Now.

Why You’ll Adore Him:

Miles Teller certainly isn't the hottest guy in Hollywood, although he does look a bit like John Cusack. He's got scars on his face from a car accident, and his voice reminds me of Danny McBride. In short, the dude has character, and that's why I find him utterly irresistible.

In addition to being an incredibly talented actor, he's a wildly charismatic real person, which I experienced firsthand thanks to my Divergent set visit. (Stay tuned for that post!) I mean, just watch him talk about his kickass grandma to Jimmy Fallon:

Miles Teller is going places, but he's already found his way to my heart. Due to Divergent and Whiplash, I have the feeling that things are about to get real crowded up in this swimfandom. So follow him on Twitter (@Miles_Teller) then join me in celebrating the fact that Peter appears in all three Divergent books. (THANKS VERONICA!)

Help, I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Stop Writing

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Help, I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Stop Writing

BOOK REPORT for Notes To Boys (And Other Things I Shouldn’t Share In Public) by Pamela Ribon

Cover Story: Old School Message Delivery
BFF Charm: Heck Yes
Swoonworthy Scale: 3
Talky Talk: Note to Self
Bonus Factors: You're Not Alone, The Olden Days
Relationship Status: Friends, Together Forever

Cover Story: Old School Message Delivery

The cover is simple – an old Polaroid showing a heart-shaped note (I think?) on the hood of someone’s car.  It is, blessedly, not a cover that I would be embarrassed to take on public transportation.

The Deal:

This is Pamela Ribon’s memoir (yes, non-fictional!) about coming of age in a small Texas town, pre-internet.  She uses all of her EXTRA DRAMATIC and VERY SERIOUS diaries, poetry, and love letters to the boys she’s met (or perhaps has just seen briefly on the bus and decided that he was THE ONE) to illustrate what it’s like to be a fifteen-year-old girl.  As most of us have experienced (I assume), being fifteen can really suck, with all the horrifyingly intense emotions, insecurity, and the desire to just fit in; Ribon’s fifteen-year-old self decides that boys are the answer to these emotions, and writing them letters is her way of wooing them.  Exposing your dark and tortured soul is most definitely the way to any high school boy’s heart!

In addition to the lighthearted yet incredibly awkward letters and anecdotes, Ribon occasionally deals with serious subjects, such as self-harm, the effects of sexual trauma, and abuse.  What I liked about this was that it illustrates the very real horrors high school students can experience without venturing into After School Special territory. 

BFF Charm: Heck Yes

I found myself relating to both fifteen-year-old Pam as well as grown-up Pam’s observations – what seemed so important as a teenager I find hilarious now.  Like Ribon, my fifteen-year-old self was oh so dramatic, felt like a misfit, and had (ahem) excellent taste in music (Trent Reznor, the stuff of dark adolescent fantasy! Not that I’m listening to NIN as I write this or anything).  I think a female friend like Little Pam would have done Little Jennie a world of good, and as an adult, I would give grown-up Pam my BFF charm in a heartbeat.  (Grown-up Pam did roller derby, according to her author bio, and I just got my first pair of really nice skates! Clearly, it’s meant to be.)

Swoonworthy Scale:  3

Unless you’re in The Carrie Diaries or The Vampire Diaries, high school boys are usually emotionally immature and not exactly swoonworthy. The same can be said about Ribon’s potential suitors – some of them are clearly sweet and well-meaning, but oh, no. So much no.

The best part, however, is the end of the book, where Present Pam gets in touch with two of her love-note recipients.  After over fifteen years, significant distance, marrying other people, and having children, their responses are full of the sweetness and maturity that fifteen year old boys often can’t quite muster. 

Talky Talk: Note to Self

Ribon calls her teenage self “Little Pam” or “LP,” and often asks Little Pam what the hell she was thinking.  Little Pam’s feelings are obviously real, and oh-so-relatable, but at the same time utterly ridiculous. Little Pam is prone to writing love letters to boys that she hasn’t spoken to, and waxing poetic on everything from wanting to feel some dude’s breath on her face (no) to Johnny Depp (when he was hot).

Little Pam: I want to sprinkle snowflakes on your tongue. I want to paint your room a sunrise and tuck you in with a sunset. I want to capture nature’s elements and store them in a box for your leisure.

Present Pam: I want you trapped in my basement where I clothe you in “elements” and force you to eat snow. – pg. 129

Present Pam: I don’t know how many of you out there reading this happen to be fifteen. But if you are and somehow you’re unlucky enough to be like, even a third as dorky as I was, please know that it gets better. Just not for like, a bajillion years. And I know it’s SO NOT FUNNY right now, how you feel, and everybody who laughs at you can just go suck it. – pg. 32

There is also a part in which Present Pam compares certain parts of her teenage suitors’ (for lack of a better polite word) anatomies to Coke bottles and Snausages. I’m so glad I wasn’t reading this in public, for I damn near choked.

This book made me sincerely glad that, while I got the internet in ’95 or ‘96, although I was in a Notes to Boys-type age, most of my ridiculousness stayed offline.

Bonus Factor: You're Not Alone

Oh, so other people burned candles and wrote terrible poetry while clutching rose quartz crystals? I AM NOT ALONE!

Bonus Factor: The Olden Days

Back in the dark ages, before the internet, we had things like landlines (with “long-distance charges”), snail mail, and taping songs off the radio.  Reading this was an amusing reminder of life before I was online – and how hard it could be to find kindred spirits in the real world.

Casting Call:

(Blonde!) Emma Stone as Little Pam

Emma Stone makes me laugh just as much as Pam Ribon.

Adam Brody as Super Mario Brothers Boy

Because he basically fits the description, and he’s hot, and I can.

Relationship Status:  Friends, Together Forever

Book, I loved you. You were a hilarious, wince-inducing trip down memory lane for me, and I think while we might be better off married to other people, you made me smile.  You clearly understood me in ways that others do not. You also ensured that I do not regret whatsoever burning my journal from age 13.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my free review copy from Rare Bird Books.  I received neither money nor a pet unicorn for writing this review, despite how hard I wished for one.  Notes to Boys will be available February 11.

Smutty February: The Expert’s Guide to Driving a Man Wild

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Smutty February: The Expert’s Guide to Driving a Man Wild

So I had planned on posting a smutty book review on Valentine's Day, because theme. But obvs, that didn't happen; I had Galentine's Day plans. Please accept this belated token of my affection (and because I really want to use this image):

Pictured: The reason why I can't stand the word 'lover'. (Unsurprisingly, these skits aired during Tina Fey's tenure as SNL head writer.)

LET'S GET IT ON with The Expert's Guide to Driving a Man Wild by (Bluebonnet Book 3) Jessica Clare

First Impressions: 

Hey, it's our first (obscured) beefcake shot! Except WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIS NIPPLE? I'm sorry to shout that at you, but I just noticed the possible engorgement and now I can't unsee it. And either she's way taller than him (untrue in the book), he has a really short torso, or he wears high waisted pants.

I've thought way too much about this. 

Anyway. The tagline isn't nearly salacious enough to be worthy of any of the titles in this series: The Girl's Guide to (Man) Hunting, The Care and Feeding of an Alpha Male, and The Virgin's Guide to Misbehaving. I kind of wish that 'guide' could have been worked into The Care and Feeding of an Alpha Male. But then it wouldn't be called The Care and Feeding of an Alpha Male, so mayhaps not.

Can I Buy You a Drink?:

As per the drinking game: 50 Lucilles, 32 Lizzes, and 57 Lorelais.

And here are some repeated devices from this book that might drive you to drink!

•  Eyes darkening with desire

•  Leaning in and kissing

•  Sex games

•  Penis similes (hard as rock, steel, iron, etc.)

•  Brenna's piercing

Also, an addition to the icky word list: JUICES. In a non actual fruit context. 

Recommended Bevvy: SnakeJuice

And not a negative, but let's take a shot when safe sex is being practiced, in honour of the shots that the male lead can't take, if ya know what I mean.

What's Your Type?: 

Fake romance turned real romance; opposites attract; romancing the boss; tragic backstory; tragic backstory that might make you snort derisively upon the reveal, until it tells you why your reaction makes you an insensitive jackhole (highlight for spoiler: mother is a hoarder).

Dating Profile:

Brenna is young, outspoken, and free-spirited; you can tell 'cause she has purple streaks, tattoos, and piercings. Straight-laced widower Grant is still mourning the loss of his wife five years ago. And you know that romance novel axiom: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.

There's also setup for Grant's mousy sister Elise and mysterious drifter Rome (yeah, really), the couple of the next book in the series, the aforementioned The Virgin's Guide to Misbehaving

Meet Cute:

Grant owns and runs a wilderness lodge -- because he's loaded, obvs -- and Brenna is his assistant... IN BED.

Foreplay:

Grant's parents are in town, and they're constantly trying to set him up with TEH LAYDEEZ. Brenna pretends to be Grant's girlfriend to get his parents off of his back... and him onto his, awww yeah

Are They Animals In the Sack?: 

Yowza, this book earns all of its vocab labels. Again and again and AGAIN. 

In fact, it really deserves this one, too:

This is seriously the abbreviation that my alma mater uses in its course listings.

Dirty Talk:

These two are veryyyyy vocal. And I feel like a rundown of their sweet smutty nothings will just make it awks for us to ever look each other in the internet eyes again. So let's just keep analyzing the shizz out of bad dialogue.

"Now I get to explore you at my leisure." Her pose as she leaned over the side of the bed raised the curved moon of her bottom into the air. 

Curved. Moon. Of. Her. Bottom. But the real question is, does she say LEE-zhur or LEH-zhur?

"What's your recovery time been like in the past? Does your cannon normally fire a single shot?"

"How's your cannon?"

"Getting harder with every moment."

So does that mean the penis cannon is the cousin of the crotch rocket? Either way, these unrealistic comparisons can't be healthy for self-esteems.

“If you could just keep doing that all  night—”

His rough, choked laugh made her smile. “I’m going to come long before that, Brenna."

"As long as you take me with you," she told him breathlessly.

"Then ride me," he said in a husky voice [...].

IS THIS REAL LIFE?! Oh wait, it's totally not. Because no one is bursting into laughter.

"Your brother was just telling me how he’s going to lick me into next week."

As you can deduce from context clues: SAID TO HIS SISTER. 

But that crassness doesn't always agree with the tone of Brenna's Inner monologue.

The small movement made her body sing with anticipation. Soon, my hormones. Very soon.

So her vag is a mustache-twirling villain now? WAIT, that analogy leads to unintended grooming innuendo.

he began to rub in tandem with her. Oh yes, that was lovely.

See, now the book has me thinking about things that I imagine the Queen of England would say. And tandem rubbing goes way beyond what 'close your eyes and think of England' entails.

Was she getting soft toward him? Just because he was good in bed? Was she dickmatized?

WHAT IS THAT WORDPLAY? Did Carrie Bradshaw write this?

Oh God, that was erotic.

sexual comment

It was a mixture of eroticism and satisfaction, and something else she couldn’t quite name.

Hmmm, could it be telling instead of showing? Just because you call it erotic and sexual does not make it so.

"I've got your erotic and sexual right here!"

Ms. Perky's Prize for Purplest Prose:


Since this book doesn't shy from the smuttiness, the flowery language is mostly reserved for non-intercoursing.

Brenna nearly melted against the heat of his mouth, the intensity with which he made love to her lips.

Not even the only time he makes love to her mouth-lips. And the fact that I had to clarify which set of lips I was referring to is cause for another drink.

His hand slid up to cup the back of her head and then he was kissing her deep, his tongue sweeping against hers in a kiss that claimed as much as it pleasured. She moaned and leaned into the kiss, feeling shivers run up and down her body. And he kissed her endlessly, as if nothing existed but her mouth and her tongue, and they were there simply for his pleasure. When the kiss finally broke an eternity later, she was left panting and breathless.

.... so he claims her, and her mouth parts are simply there for his pleasure? Just making sure these are the feminist ideals you want to project.

Deal Breakers:

So there's quite a bit of dramz to keep these two busy during their secksin' downtime. But none as ridiculous as Grant buying minimalist Brenna panties, getting pissy when she doesn't wear it, then asking for them back to RETURN THEM. Holy shit -- what kind of used underwear vending machine did you buy those from, Grant?!

Grant's also pretty possessive, and he says things like this about his grown-ass sister in her absence. 

“Elise is fragile.” He shook his head. “I forbid it."

Speaking of his sister, she of The Virgin's Guide to Misbehaving, she has ZERO confidence. It all has to do with her tragic past, which becomes more understandable by reading the excerpt from her book. But without it, she just comes off as a caricature pathetic virgin.

He’d be in her dreams tonight, that was for sure, provided that she allowed herself to fantasize about a man like him being interested in a mouse like her.

Say WHAT? Not allowing yourself to fantasize about someone? Unless they're children, relatives, or animals, EVERYONE'S FAIR GAME. No permission slips necessary!

Elise was wildly jealous of her. Not only was she pretty, she was fun and outgoing. Elise was none of those things. Brenna could get a man like Rome. Not Elise. Boring, plain, unable to speak to men Elise.

Pro-tip: Having a sad sack playing the same monotonous note OVER AND OVER is not the most convincing argument for picking up the next book with her as the main character.

Role Play:

No-humanity Elena would be perf. for Brenna. (Er, minus all the killing... ) She even has the right hair for it!

Nina Dobrev as Brenna

I actually thought of someone else for Grant, but I reeeeally love my themes, you guys. Seeing how I've only cast actors from The Vampire Diaries in the smutty role plays so far, and how most characters in both TVD and romance novels are white, young, and pretty, I'm going to continue casting exclusively from TVD alumni. (QUICK, SOMEONE GIVE ME ALARICS AND ELIJAHS TO CAST.)

Taylor Kinney as Grant 

Was It Good For You, Too?:

Retrospection was not kind to my opinion of this book. We had a racy hookup, but the more I think about our one-night stand, the less fond I become of it. So I guess the lesson here is just to hit it and quit it.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my free review copy from Berkley. I received neither money nor froyo for writing this review (dammit!). The Expert's Guide to Driving a Man Wild is available now.

YA Movie News Roundup: A New DIVERGENT Clip Pits Shailene Woodley Against Kate Winslet

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YA Movie News Roundup: A New DIVERGENT Clip Pits Shailene Woodley Against Kate Winslet

Welcome back to the YA Movie News Roundup, and a whole bunch of news needs rounding up this week, so let's hop to!

New Divergent clip starring two of the most badass ladies ever: Shailene Woodley and Kate Winslet. (You're in good company, Shailene!)

Insurgent now has a director: Robert Schwentke, of The Time Traveler's Wife and RIPD infamy. Yay?

Summit has already optioned one of FYA's upcoming book review books: John Corey Whale's Noggin, produced by Temple Hill and written by Jamie Linden.

OMG, tons of Veronica Mars stuff is happening all the time. Cuteness. Cuteness. Merch. Hotness. Cuteness. Exciting!

Posh linked to this in her Your New Fake Boyfriend post, but in case you missed it: YA darling Miles Teller has a kickass grams of his own.

Dylan Minnette will join Jack Black in Rob Letterman's Goosebumps movie.

In YA TV news: "MTV is giving Victoria Justice’s project based on an RL Stine novel a series order." Oh hey and speaking of ol' Stiney: !!!

In not YA movie news but relevant to our interests: Brittany Snow gets in on the Pitch Perfect 2 casting.

And HELLO ADORABLE BUFFY REUNION I LOVE YOU GUYS! Well, Dawn, not so much you.

That's it for this week! Holler back at me downstairs.

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